bananaboat11 Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I shouldn't, but I do. Is it affecting me? Probably not... I can't recall how long it's been now... i don't even remember the exact day last November she dumped me over facebook. Thinking about it more last night... Nicole (my recent ex that used me as her rebound and never cared about me.. or us) unblocked me from facebook 3 months after our breakup... about 3 months with no contact whatsoever... YET... there were 2 friends of mine she blocked the day she blocked me (Dumping Day). One of my friends was friends with her before she was friends with me... regardless... both of my female friends are still blocked, but I'm not. Checking up on me? Seeing if I cave and contact her? In addition... another friend that I set up to live with my ex was hated by my ex. My ex talked **** about her all the time to me, but I kept my mouth shut. Now... my ex has befriended this girl she loathed for so long... the problem is (and I'm ok with them being friends, mind you) Nicole is posting on this friend's (her ex roommate) face book wall instead of calling the ex roomie back like the roomie called her... or text. Nope... she has to post about how happy her and her boyfriend are now. She knows I'll see these posts... I do not believe in coincidences... only the illusion thereof. Don't tell me I'm over thinking it. I'm not. The ex clearly doesn't want me back, but she is thinking of me... whether good or bad. You don't **** someone for 4.5 months and push them out indefinitely... you don't pour your emotions and feelings into someone.. even if only at the time and not think about him/her... She may not contact me for a long time.. hell, she may not contact me ever... but I'm sure I'm on her mind. Clearly... she's on mind, but I don't let it affect me anymore. I'm dating again which is nice... and no, I don't think bout Nicole when I'm out with these girls... or out with my friends at the bars... nor does it affect my work anymore. Life moves on. See my signature... nothing is forgotten.. only left behind. Somewhere, deep down... Nicole cared about me. And maybe a part of her is wondering 'what if...?'... Regardless of how happy she is with her boyfriend and where they're at now. I'm glad I'm getting back to normal.. it's a good sign.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I'm sure she does think about you and cared about you, unless she's very cold hearted and cares about no-one but herself, only you can answer that. As long as you're not hoping deep down that if she thinks about you it means she wants you back. My ex cares very much about me, he's made that clear since we split, said he was terrified of losing me altogether, but he didn't want me back. But of course it is good to know you meant something to someone who meant so much to you. I shouldn't, but I do. Is it affecting me? Probably not... I can't recall how long it's been now... i don't even remember the exact day last November she dumped me over facebook. Thinking about it more last night... Nicole (my recent ex that used me as her rebound and never cared about me.. or us) unblocked me from facebook 3 months after our breakup... about 3 months with no contact whatsoever... YET... there were 2 friends of mine she blocked the day she blocked me (Dumping Day). One of my friends was friends with her before she was friends with me... regardless... both of my female friends are still blocked, but I'm not. Checking up on me? Seeing if I cave and contact her? In addition... another friend that I set up to live with my ex was hated by my ex. My ex talked **** about her all the time to me, but I kept my mouth shut. Now... my ex has befriended this girl she loathed for so long... the problem is (and I'm ok with them being friends, mind you) Nicole is posting on this friend's (her ex roommate) face book wall instead of calling the ex roomie back like the roomie called her... or text. Nope... she has to post about how happy her and her boyfriend are now. She knows I'll see these posts... I do not believe in coincidences... only the illusion thereof. Don't tell me I'm over thinking it. I'm not. The ex clearly doesn't want me back, but she is thinking of me... whether good or bad. You don't **** someone for 4.5 months and push them out indefinitely... you don't pour your emotions and feelings into someone.. even if only at the time and not think about him/her... She may not contact me for a long time.. hell, she may not contact me ever... but I'm sure I'm on her mind. Clearly... she's on mind, but I don't let it affect me anymore. I'm dating again which is nice... and no, I don't think bout Nicole when I'm out with these girls... or out with my friends at the bars... nor does it affect my work anymore. Life moves on. See my signature... nothing is forgotten.. only left behind. Somewhere, deep down... Nicole cared about me. And maybe a part of her is wondering 'what if...?'... Regardless of how happy she is with her boyfriend and where they're at now. I'm glad I'm getting back to normal.. it's a good sign.
Manutara Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Bro, you need to give FB a break - I seriously doubt that it's doing your healing process any good, even if you are meeting new girls/friends via it. When we've been hurt and are feeling vulnerable, our brains have an uncanny ability to read into things exactly what we want to see/hear, and if a big part of you isn't waiting for this girl to contact you, apologising and begging you to take her back, then you wouldn't be human, whatever your response to her would be. At the same time, if you guys spent 5 months together then that is also obviously going to mean something special to her, and she wouldn't be human either if she didn't think about you, wonder what you're up to, see what your relationship status is, and even ask herself whether she made the right call in breaking up with you. Women can appear extremely illogical creatures to us guys a lot of the time, and therefore trying to interpret her every move might only cause you more confusion and insecurity. I haven't read all of your posts, but you sound like you're finding this girl particularly hard to get over, and understandably still feel a lot of bitterness and resentment towards her. Celebrate the fact that she's freed you to go and find someone better, and someone with equally good values as your own. Keep up the good work.
GrayClouds Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 As DB said it (just replace HoH with BB and she for he): Well this is the end and you need to accept it. So get over him and move on and stop all the nonsense. It is done and you need to accept it, HoH. I know it is tough love but these are the facts. He doesn't love you any more so why are you wasting so much time worrying about someone who doesn't spend any time thinking of you? BB have you discover answers to these questions: So the questions that stands out are: What things about you that was drawn to that type of girl? Why did you confused abuse with love? Where did you learn this? And finally what are you doing to address those issue in you and how are you developing new behavior patterns to keep from repeating hurting yourself in the future?
HeavenOrHell Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Yes, please please lay off fb BB, I felt a weight lifted when I did it
Author bananaboat11 Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Thanks guys. I appreciate the advice... I was dumped through facebook... i'm sure that's bothering her too. I have found closure.. or am finding closure from within... it'll take her more time eventually.
skydiveaddict Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 NO FB it's just another way to torture yourself
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