Xo-Lindsay-oX Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Its a rather long one, i hope you're all prepared. Basically me and this guy met about 9 months ago in summer on the beach (sounds typical cheese already) and after the day at the beach we were all having a huge stayover at a friends house. As there were loads of us at night time we all just squished onto the sofas and i cuddled with this guy. I dont think either of us meant anything by it at the time, this continued for days and one night when everyone had fell asleep he asked me out. I said no, i wasnt sure on what i wanted, just to have a think and i asked him out the next day. All was fine for months on end until my guy friend who i'd known for 4/5 years came back from the Navy. As we hadnt spoke in a long long time we would hang around alot and go out drinking. One night i got fairly very drunk and we were walking in the direction of home, i asked him to take me home and he said no we'll find a hotel. Too drunk to really bother i just agreed and carried on walking. Later that night i slept with him :| The next day there was another party at my friends house, so me and my boyfriend went and the guy id slept with was there, he had told the whole house what had happened. My boyfriend found out, i tried to deny it. I didnt want to let it ruin anything, in all fairness i was scared of loosing him. Well i lost him, he slept with this girl he'd known through college. I used to ask him to come for late night walks all the time to talk and he didnt want to, but one night i got him to and we went for these walks every night that week. And we would just sit on this grass bank and cuddle. Eventually we started going back out. He admitted he now had trust issues in me but deep inside i knew it was the biggest mistake ever and never would happen again. So months down the line he dumps me out of the blue, he slept with that girl again and i kissed 2 guys on a night out. He later on that week told me he realised what he was missing and he had taken me for granted, so i took him back cause i really loved him. One of the guys i kissed that night out i became friends with, we would go cinemas in groups and bowling, one night we ended up alone in his car as my friends boyfriend had picked her up, nothing happened but it played on his head. The relationship started to turn a bit sour as we both were worried if each other were meeting others and he dumped me again. Right now he says he knows what he had with me was special and he wouldnt ever have that with any other girl, but things kept messing with his head so it was for the best. I just want him back but i dont know how to get him back.
Author Xo-Lindsay-oX Posted March 13, 2010 Author Posted March 13, 2010 I also forgot to add a major detail. That guy is back in town (the one i slept with) As i had been dumped i needed someone who lived close to talk to, it was him, but his brother was with us at all times. My ex found out started to hammer on his door to kick his head in, i tried to push him away and he just went "dont f***** touch me!" But yeah they argued like mad, an old fued was getting settled, neither would listen to me as i begged them to stop, torn between the guy i love and an old friend. But my ex slagged off the navy and my friend tried to hit him but missed. At this point i walked off. I got a text off the ex saying i never ever want to speak to you again. Ive decided to give up contact with my old friend and just got into a normal form of contact with the ex, but i just really need him back.
Nicole11 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Honey, you have made some bad choices and made costly mistakes. I am assuming you are young. The fact is, your relationship will never be the way it was. Once you break that sacred 'we', with another man, men and women while they may still love you for what once was, it will never be the same. My advice to you would be to re read your post, you need to learn from your mistakes, and try not to do them again. I know it is painfull. I am also concerned with your behavior when you drink. That must be addressed. Please set yourself a limit of say 2 maybe 3 drinks an evening, that way you will keep your wits about you and maybe think twice about going to a hotel. You dont deserve to be used. As far as getting the X back, I would say your best chance would be to reevaluate your behavior and concentrate on yourself, not men. When you have male friends who for what ever reasons upset the current man, respect that. I am not saying don't be friends, not at all. But be so in public, not at their homes, or hotels. Once a reputation is lost, it is gone for ever. Take care sweetie, and most important take care of yourself. Work hard on you, when my life has fallen apart over a man, the best thing I did was pamper myself, worked hard at work, stayed in shape, took long wonderful baths, did my nails, took care of me! I felt awful inside, but I looked great and was confident that I looked good, that confidence in yourself spreads to the rest of your life. Good luck to you.
Silver_star Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Its a rather long one, i hope you're all prepared. Basically me and this guy met about 9 months ago in summer on the beach (sounds typical cheese already) and after the day at the beach we were all having a huge stayover at a friends house. As there were loads of us at night time we all just squished onto the sofas and i cuddled with this guy. I dont think either of us meant anything by it at the time, this continued for days and one night when everyone had fell asleep he asked me out. I said no, i wasnt sure on what i wanted, just to have a think and i asked him out the next day. All was fine for months on end until my guy friend who i'd known for 4/5 years came back from the Navy. As we hadnt spoke in a long long time we would hang around alot and go out drinking. One night i got fairly very drunk and we were walking in the direction of home, i asked him to take me home and he said no we'll find a hotel. Too drunk to really bother i just agreed and carried on walking. Later that night i slept with him :| The next day there was another party at my friends house, so me and my boyfriend went and the guy id slept with was there, he had told the whole house what had happened. My boyfriend found out, i tried to deny it. I didnt want to let it ruin anything, in all fairness i was scared of loosing him. Well i lost him, he slept with this girl he'd known through college. I used to ask him to come for late night walks all the time to talk and he didnt want to, but one night i got him to and we went for these walks every night that week. And we would just sit on this grass bank and cuddle. Eventually we started going back out. He admitted he now had trust issues in me but deep inside i knew it was the biggest mistake ever and never would happen again. So months down the line he dumps me out of the blue, he slept with that girl again and i kissed 2 guys on a night out. He later on that week told me he realised what he was missing and he had taken me for granted, so i took him back cause i really loved him. One of the guys i kissed that night out i became friends with, we would go cinemas in groups and bowling, one night we ended up alone in his car as my friends boyfriend had picked her up, nothing happened but it played on his head. The relationship started to turn a bit sour as we both were worried if each other were meeting others and he dumped me again. Right now he says he knows what he had with me was special and he wouldnt ever have that with any other girl, but things kept messing with his head so it was for the best. I just want him back but i dont know how to get him back. Read the thread, overall...your not ready for a commited relationship. You dont seem to be learning a lesson at all. I think that love is gone. I think you need to move on despite the emotions you still have for him. In the future be more honest and loyal to your boyfriend..or break up with him..but dont cheat because you screwed with his head. Things wont work between you two now. You have ruined it.
Author Xo-Lindsay-oX Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 Just a quick update on all of this, we eventually got back together after i got kicked out my house and his mum took me in it was great and i wasnt back in contact with the ex. Now heres the thing, few days back the mate was back from serving a long few months in afghanistan, some friends of mine and his organised a party for him, they needed 50 people to fill the room so i thought i would go, all i told my boyfriend though was i was going to a female friends house for a few drinks (which i did beforehand) Never did anything that night, just sat with my friends and talked and drank, Got picked up 2 hours later outside the place and when he said what were you doing there i said just chilling with bec and jay and he thought nothing of it. Next night i was at a work do and went to see a friend who was back from uni, i got a text from him saying were you at such and such's party last night, i knew from that minute one of his "mates" had said something. I didnt deny it but we went hone and slept on it. Woke up in the morning and he was all cuddles and love you, he picked me up from work a few hours later to say its over. Its crushed me, really. I said i wanted my stuff and he said i would get it, we argued about the fact i never even made contact with the guy and hes now left stuff at various peoples houses saying he doesnt want to see me. He says he doesnt trust me, but i know he can. What can i do?
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