Ruby Slippers Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Not at all. There could be any number of reasons why he didn't approach. Also, as for scanning the room, I never even thought about doing that till I noticed some friends of mine do it.
sweetjasmine Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I find that hard to believe that you wouldn't notice a handsome man at a bar. I mean as a a man, I can honsetly say that the moment I walk into a bar I'm already assessing the talent. I'd notice him and little details like what color shoes he's wearing or what he's doing or what he's drinking because that's the sort of thing I notice when I see strangers. But I wouldn't automatically think, "Gee, is this guy going to hit on me or what? Oh no, he left without hitting on me." I actually prefer it when people leave me alone most of the time. Plus, I don't really like the whole picking up people at bars thing, so I don't walk into bars with the mindset of "I'm going to find myself a date here". Not sure if the women are being honest on this one.. Women get dressed up, put on make up, try to look pretty, go to a bar, sit by themselves, and then not even notice a man sitting next to them? LOL yeah right..Or not wonder at all why he did not initiate a conversation? When I head out to the bar alone, it's because the best one in my neighborhood is a block away, and I feel like I need to get out of the house. I go there to sit, have a beer, and either write or draw. Not show myself off so that as many guys as possible approach me and try to ask me out. Don't flatter yourselves too much, dudes.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 The one thing I agree with is that women groom mostly because of men. Even when they do dress up to impress other women, it's indirectly because of men. Women are competitive with each other because of men I completely agree
Woggle Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 It is not about power or evening the score. Well it is somewhat but it is the truth that many women simply can't take no for answer and that is double for an attractive woman. A man simply minding his business does not bother her but women really are bothered when something is out of their reach.
2sunny Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 let's look at this from another angle... just because a man hits on a gal - doesn't necessarily mean he finds her attractive. he may be: horny, lonely or just looking for a quick ego feed. so no, i wouldn't be thinking twice about the reasons of why he "did or didn''t" try to hit on me... men have lots of reasons why they do or don't do things the way a gal expects him to... whether or not he's willing to admit to the why or why not would be a better thing to understand.
shadowplay Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 It is not about power or evening the score. Well it is somewhat but it is the truth that many women simply can't take no for answer and that is double for an attractive woman. A man simply minding his business does not bother her but women really are bothered when something is out of their reach. Not being able to take no is different because that suggests the woman did the approach and was brushed off, which would naturally lead to anyone feeling rejected. It would probably be worse for women because they rarely make advances on men, and when they do they're less likely to be turned down. Most women won't feel rejected by a guy simply not approaching them.
sweetjasmine Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 just because a man hits on a gal - doesn't necessarily mean he finds her attractive. he may be: horny, lonely or just looking for a quick ego feed. That's true. But even if he didn't find me attractive, uh...so what? I don't care if some cute guy doesn't find me attractive or approachable or interesting. Why would I care? He's just a random stranger to me. I don't walk around thinking that everyone on planet Earth should find me attractive. There are plenty of cute or gorgeous men out there who wouldn't find me attractive. It's not the end of the world.
Woggle Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 For some reason I get a lot of women making advances on me. Despite my attitude women like me for some reason and I love rejecting them.
stillafool Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I second this. I would also probably be happy to be left in peace. Only incredibly insecure women need men to hit on them constanly. This is how I would fee. Who cares?
tami-chan Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I find that hard to believe that you wouldn't notice a handsome man at a bar. I mean as a a man, I can honsetly say that the moment I walk into a bar I'm already assessing the talent. well.."handsome" is relative..maybe the men you find handsome are not attractive to other people.... But to answer the OP...No, I would not think of it as a rejection if he does not notice me for whatever reason...I can't take it personally-the world does not revolve around me...even though, it should...LOL...I kid, I kid..
shadowplay Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I love rejecting them. So it is about evening the score for you. Be honest.
Woggle Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 So it is about evening the score for you. Be honest. Partly yes. It is rare for a man to be in a position to say no to a woman so it feels very good to do so.
threebyfate Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Straight up, I don't understand the enjoyment of going to a bar alone, whether it's a man or a woman, unless you're looking for company. Even that, I won't do, but then, that's personal choice. If for any godforsaken reason I'm at a bar alone and this happens, I honestly don't think I would even notice or if I did, wouldn't care. As it stands, every single person on this planet is rejected a myriad of times through a single glance, the minute they walk outside of their homes. Big deal.
2sunny Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 For some reason I get a lot of women making advances on me. Despite my attitude women like me for some reason and I love rejecting them. you love this because of your unhealthy attitude of women. in a small gesture - you are being very purposefully unkind to women - which is what you love achieving at this juncture of healing from your past. you need to move forward Woggle. it may stem from not being able to place this on your xW or current spouse directly - so you find pleasure in doing it to strangers instead...
shadowplay Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Partly yes. It is rare for a man to be in a position to say no to a woman so it feels very good to do so. You seem focused on negative feelings in women about men that you yourself have expressed toward women. You often talk with disdain of women who enjoy evening the score. Although there's nothing wrong with your rejecting a woman, the fact that you get a thrill out of doing so is no different from a woman who gets a thrill out of rejecting a man because she's been rejected in the past. In many ways you have become the worst of what you believe women to be. I'm surprised you don't see the inconsistencies in your logic.
Woggle Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 You seem focused on negative feelings in women about men that you yourself have expressed toward women. You often talk with disdain of women who enjoy evening the score. Although there's nothing wrong with your rejecting a woman, the fact that you get a thrill out of doing so is no different from a woman who gets a thrill out of rejecting a man because she's been rejected in the past. In many ways you have become the worst of what you believe women to be. I'm surprised you don't see the inconsistencies in your logic. It's a gender war out there and I throw a few bombs every now and then. It's better than being the doormat that most other men on this board are. Saying no to a woman is one of the most empowering things a man can do for himself.
sweetjasmine Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 It's a gender war out there and I throw a few bombs every now and then. It's not a gender war. But you go out and "throw a few bombs" and then run back here and complain about the "gender war" that you love taking a part in.
threebyfate Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 It's a gender war out there and I throw a few bombs every now and then. It's better than being the doormat that most other men on this board are. Saying no to a woman is one of the most empowering things a man can do for himself.Real power doesn't come from predatory or self-leveraging behaviour, off of others. Maybe one day, you'll figure this out but I won't hold my breath about it.
Woggle Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I have been treated like garbage by women nearly my entire life so what is so wrong with me getting a little bit of justice for myself?
shadowplay Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 It's a gender war out there and I throw a few bombs every now and then. It's better than being the doormat that most other men on this board are. Saying no to a woman is one of the most empowering things a man can do for himself. The only way to really empower yourself is by removing yourself from the "war" altogether. You don't realize it, but you're still being controlled by women and your past. The female gender still has a huge emotional hold on you. Making somebody filled with hate and bitterness is a form of control. Don't you see that? If you really want to be a strong, healthy individual you need to stop caring. Don't be a doormat, but also let go of the bitterness and hate.
sweetjasmine Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I have been treated like garbage by women nearly my entire life so what is so wrong with me getting a little bit of justice for myself? "This blond guy tried to murder me once, so I'm going to beat the living crap out of my neighbor because he's blond, too." Great logic.
Woggle Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Unless a man decides to be 100% celibate and never even deal with women he can't remove himself from the war. A man can be the nicest and kindest person to women on the face of the planet and there will always be a woman wanting to crush him so she can settle some score or empower herself.
sweetjasmine Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Unless a man decides to be 100% celibate and never even deal with women he can't remove himself from the war. Woggle, it's not a war. It's. Not. A. War. there will always be a woman wanting to crush him so she can settle some score or empower herself. And you'll always be the man wanting to crush a woman so you can settle some score and empower yourself. How is that any better? Do you see how self-destructive and harmful this is? You're destroying yourself.
2sunny Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 You seem focused on negative feelings in women about men that you yourself have expressed toward women. You often talk with disdain of women who enjoy evening the score. Although there's nothing wrong with your rejecting a woman, the fact that you get a thrill out of doing so is no different from a woman who gets a thrill out of rejecting a man because she's been rejected in the past. In many ways you have become the worst of what you believe women to be. I'm surprised you don't see the inconsistencies in your logic. and so - negative energy FEEDS negative energy. stop the cycle - start with positive or neutral energy and see if you get a different result in interactions with women. then move forward to positive interactions using words and actions and see what a different world it can be with women Woggle. they can smell your negative energy a mile away - so change it up and see what that gets you. you might be pleasantly surprised.
Woggle Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 If it's not a war then why do you see the casulties and fallout of this war all over this board. I don't go out seeking innocent women to hurt but if a woman hits on me when it is clear I am wearing a wedding ring and in many cases she has one as well I will be as rude as I can be to her. She shouldn't be hitting on a married men or cheating on her husband. Most men who have been abused by women in their life are much worse and much more vicious than I am.
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