Pfiend101 Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Im trying to figure out why my ex broke up with me. We were together for around 3 months. Things started off great and slowly tapered down to eventually a break up. After about a month and a half she said she was having her doubts. That normally she goes for the bad boys. I talked her into staying. I should say she was in an abusive relationship before me. She also parties and I dont drink anymore not that I had a problem with it. She told me some guy was trying to screw her all night at a party she was at. I told her I didnt want her going to a party if he was there. Eventually we were only seeing each other once a week. I really liked her so I bought her this nice necklace that was a heart and told her I wanted her to have my heart "blah blah blah" treat her like a princess and all this. I really meant it. Then I expressed that I wanted to see her more than once a week. Two days later she said she was taking a step back to see if things still werent working out or whether or not everything was gonna be fine. She said it had nothing to do with me and it was all her and her feelings. I told her if breaking up is gonna make you happy then lets just do it. She said lets sit down over coffee and talk. Im waiting for her at the coffee place in my truck and she pulls up next to me and hands back the necklace and a shirt I gave her. She said she didnt know why it wasnt working and doesnt do the whole talking thing. I told her the reason that it wasnt working for me was the lack of communication and only seeing eachother once a week. Was I pressuring her too much? Was things wrong to want to see her more? I get the impression that she thinks I'm boring and she wants to party more maybe. I have been NC for 3 days. Didnt beg her to stay and told her I didnt want to be friends. Shes 19 and I'm 23. Thoughts?
LovelyDaze Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 You are doing things right. Stay NC. She already showed who she was when she first agreed to talk things over coffee then blows you off with bringing your shirt & necklace claiming she is not into talking things out. At 19, she is very, very young and of course there is nothing wrong with that. She is doing exactly what she is supposed to do at her age: partying, dating around, learning and growing as an adult. She is NOT ready for a long term relationship. Some people in their 30s, 40s or 50s aren't ready either. These people still have lessons to learn regarding commitment and it is only when THEY want to change, not someone else telling them they should. You are doing great! Live your life to the fullest. Don't ask her back or play any silly push-n-pull games with her. It's juvenile stuff. Ball is in her court. Don't wait for her but if she does come back around, make it clear that you guys have to sit down and communicate about what type of relationship you BOTH would like to have. Like I said, at 19..she probably won't be ready to commit to anyone for years. Just guard your heart with her and any other woman you meet in the future. Good Luck!
ADF Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 My thought is that you're lucky to be free of this woman. Not because either of you are bad people (though it sounds like she is), but just because you are so clearly incompatible. However, a woman who openly admits going for "bad boys" is a bad bet no matter who you are. It means she accepts the notion that "real men" should be brutish, brutal, and abusive. Nuts to her. But I understand the need to understand. Sadly, we often never get that kind of closure. You have to remember that many people--male and female--in this world are all about making things as easy as possible on themselves. Other people's feelings don't count. Just kind of drifting away was probably easiest for her, so that is what she did. You're well rid of her.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 13, 2010 Author Posted March 13, 2010 Thanks. I feel better after reading that. I dont enjoy breaking up, not that I've had that many relationships. I dont think shes at the point in her life to have a LTR like you say. I also dont think she can appreciate the kind of man I am. Successful, stable, dependable, smart, attractive. I know I'm a catch but when this kind of thing happens I always get the "not good enough" feeling. It also amazes me how easily people give up. I really liked her and still do. I guess I'm the kind of guy that will ride the plane down till it crashes. Maybe in the future there is a possibility, but for now you're right stay NC shes got to live her life and grow up a little. Probably get burned a few times to realize someone like me is worth keeping. Thanks and if anyone has more comments they are welcome.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Of course today I want her back and want to break the NC. I mean....... AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!
jerrytodd Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Of course today I want her back and want to break the NC. I mean....... AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGH!! Dont. It really does work and it gets better everyday. With the time you would be using to break NC try to find someone new, that really will help. Candidly it doesnt sound like you lost too much.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 What are the chances of her wanting me back? Honestly? I know the answer is probably slim to none.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) her facebook says shes "in love". in less then a week after breaking up with me? What the ****!! Sounds like I dodged another crazy.... FML Edited March 15, 2010 by Pfiend101
LovelyDaze Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 her facebook says shes "in love". in less then a week after breaking up with me? What the ****!! Sounds like I dodged another crazy.... FML She is in love after 1 week of ending another relationship(i.e. with you)? Smells just like BS on fire to me. Your ex KNOWS you probably will look at her status updates on FB. Don't believe the lies. Facebook is all BS and I HAVE an account! It is a way to "sell" yourself as the happiest and coolest person known to man. Your ex knows that being suddenly "in love" will stick you good like a sharp dagger. Your ex is also acting mixed up, crude, and dumb-dumb. I'd believe her more if she stated she was "single" for a few months THEN said she was dating or "in love" after that. It would show she was pretty serious. Don't say to yourself FML, no FherL. She sounds ridiculous and loves to create emotional drama for you. Just say, "Pfssssh" to her Fb, better yet...delete her and she will go nuts that she can't f*** with your head anymore.
ohwhyme Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 You are torturing yourself. Delete all contact with her. If she wants to talk to you she knows how to contact you man. Don't take that bull**** from anyone.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 I deleted her off there. Shes got some picture up of some dude kissing her on the cheek. I was the best boyfriend shes ever had and this is the appreciation I get not to mention picking out the perfect necklace and getting it specially wrapped for her. Then this. Yeah **** her.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 Just saw the guy shes going out with now, I am way more attractive then him and guarantee I have a much better career. LOL Her loss.
D-Lish Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 She's 19, she has zero class and zero clue. You guys aren't compatible, it couldn't have lasted if she wants to drink and party and you don't. Consider yourself lucky dodging this bullet.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 You're right. I have the closure I wanted and am not attracted too her if she could of had me and see what shes going out with now. I'm dissapointed in her judgement.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Posted March 16, 2010 well wanted to hear it for myself So I texted her. She said she wasnt attracted to me physically. That going out with me was boring. Conversation was dull, I wasnt good in the bedroom, I was clingy. She then told me I was a rebound and shes back with her ex. That he likes to go out and have fun and I dont and hes established. She also told me I'm the kind of guy a girl wants if they want to be doted on with gifts but also have a bad boy on the side who can please them in other ways. I told her she wouldn't know a real guy if it bit her in the ass. STAY NC lmao I know most the **** in there isnt true. But it didnt feel good.
Recommended Posts