timmytak Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Alright so here is the story, about 4 months ago my girlfriend bestfriend(girl) came down from Cali and she told me when her friend comes down that she would be spending a lot of time with her and they just want it to be girls. Well my girlfriend is now going to visit her friend in cali in a couple of months and they are going to be hanging out with girls over there with boyfriends and the bf have friends that like to go hang out with them to, I know this because when she went last year there were a bunch of guys hanging out with them. Well I feel that if she could tell me that its girls only when her friend was here she can tell her friends that it should be girls only when she goes to cali, am I wrong for this? I feel that if she cant tell her friends this or if her friends wont do this that her friends care more about there boyfriends then they do about their friends and that she cares more about her friends then me. Am I wrong for thinking about this? should I bring it up? I dont know please help! I havent said anything about it yet but am thinking about it.
Ronni_W Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Since it's bothering you, why not talk about it? Perhaps you could say that it appears like a double-standard to you but you wanted to check with her before you jump to any (wrong) conclusions. It's unclear from your post, but sounds like the difference might be that there is a large group of couples in Cali but not where you live. If that's the case, it does get 'weird' if there's 3 or 4 girls...and one guy tagging along. (Same as a number of guys with just a single girl.) It throws off dynamics and limits potential subjects and depth of conversations. In any case, would you REALLY have wanted to be the only guy, and have to show/maintain interest in whatever the ladies felt like getting up to? Or. Is there a (much?) bigger concern that you have, that you're not talking to her about?
Author timmytak Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Well no its just that she likes to tell me that its girls night out, but thats what she wants and her friends will bring guys along and she would be like well I didnt know they were coming, I just dont get why she would decide on this herself...I dont know its just the principal no? I mean I dont care if she has it(girls night out) but dont be like yo its girls night out and then her friends bring guys along. Am I wrong? She decides on this all on herself which I think is kind of mean? I dont know relationships are hard lol I dont know if I should or should not care its nothing big but like I said its the principal or I could be wrong?
Ronni_W Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 but dont be like yo its girls night out and then her friends bring guys along. Am I wrong? She decides on this all on herself which I think is kind of mean? If she's doing it on purpose, just to exclude you then...I don't know if I'd call that 'mean' as much as 'a sign of a relationship problem'. But if she's just making it up in her head all the time that she's going on a 'girls night out' when in reality nobody even talked about that...well, that's more, er, stoopid, isn't it? And, in which case, maybe you could just come to see and accept it as one of her little quirks that helps make her so lovable and unique? In any event. The next time she announces "yo it's girls night out" why not just say in a light-hearted way, "yo are you sure they haven't changed their minds by now? cos remember that's happened the last few times? maybe we should check?" And/or. Ask her to let you know if the guys show up, and then you'll join all of them and have some fun as well. If you think she's deliberately excluding you...then you gotta ask her about it, no? What the heck would be up with THAT? (If that's what she's doing.)
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