paperchase Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 So I met a girl at a party last weekend and we danced the night away. She gazed at me the whole time and there seemed to be chemistry. The next day she text me: "Good time on the dance floor last night!" In an hour of so I text back: "Agreed! Can't wait to go out." In an hour she responds: "Most definitely. Text me towards the end of the week and we can make plans." So on Thursday I text "So let's make those plans" and 20 hours later I've heard nothing. Now I've had women give me their number and then just not respond when I call or text. It happens. Women give their number for all types of reasons I'll never understand. But I've never had someone chase me at the onset and then ignore me before we ever talk or go out. A part of me wonders if she got my text, but I don't want to text back and sound desperate. I would call, but she did say text and some people prefer that mode of communication until they know you better. How should I proceed?
DustySaltus Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 So I met a girl at a party last weekend and we danced the night away. She gazed at me the whole time and there seemed to be chemistry. The next day she text me: "Good time on the dance floor last night!" In an hour of so I text back: "Agreed! Can't wait to go out." In an hour she responds: "Most definitely. Text me towards the end of the week and we can make plans." So on Thursday I text "So let's make those plans" and 20 hours later I've heard nothing. Now I've had women give me their number and then just not respond when I call or text. It happens. Women give their number for all types of reasons I'll never understand. But I've never had someone chase me at the onset and then ignore me before we ever talk or go out. A part of me wonders if she got my text, but I don't want to text back and sound desperate. I would call, but she did say text and some people prefer that mode of communication until they know you better. How should I proceed? I'd give her a call and keep the conversation light. Tell her you've been practicing all week and want to show her your new moves. If she doesn't answer leave a message and just move on. I've had this happen before and it sometimes can become a pattern. You need to hit the nail on the head now by being assertive. Otherwise, you'll see her every once and a while and the circle-jerk may continue.
Author paperchase Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Thanks for the speedy response. I was going to send another text just saying "Wanna grab a bite on Saturday?" and pretend I never sent the first message. I like to remain nonchalant and never call them out on not calling me back. Guess there's two schools of thought: be assertive (and risk appearing desperate) or be cavalier (and risk missing the window of opportunity).
Rearden Metal Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Instead of "wanna.....", try "meet me at xxxxx at 7, unless you need a ride?"
boogieboy Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Just so you are clear on this, Women only give out their phone number for two reasons. Either they are interested (even if temporarily interested) or they dont want to tell you "no you cant have my number". Some guys cant handle that I guess. So they give you their number and just dont answer as a way of saying their not interested. They dont want to feel guilty or think that you think they are a bad person. Since you have no chance with her anyway, I think you should send her a text that you are dissappointed in her and you think she is a bad person. She might feel some guilt about it.
5105571 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Oh the fickleness of the female species will never cease to amaze me. Why do you do this type of stuff ladies? If it's a game, it doesn't intrigue us it's actually quite annoying.
DustySaltus Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Since you have no chance with her anyway, I think you should send her a text that you are dissappointed in her and you think she is a bad person. She might feel some guilt about it. Geez boogie, you think she closed the book on him just like that?
DustySaltus Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Thanks for the speedy response. I was going to send another text just saying "Wanna grab a bite on Saturday?" and pretend I never sent the first message. I like to remain nonchalant and never call them out on not calling me back. Guess there's two schools of thought: be assertive (and risk appearing desperate) or be cavalier (and risk missing the window of opportunity). This is what sucks about dating. Now you're in a position where you're either going to look assertive and desperate or weak and confused. Suggest a specific time and place (if she picks up) otherwise just leave her a a light hearted message. Then realize that you've done your part. Good luck.
Author paperchase Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Boy would I love to hear a woman's input, not that I don't trust you guys. lol. Look, if it doesn't pan out I'm not gonna lose any sleep, but I swear we were really vibing. Not like she humored me with a dance but like once we began dancing we didn't stop and she introduced me to her GF which I take as a good sign. Oh well, f-it.
boogieboy Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Boy would I love to hear a woman's input, not that I don't trust you guys. lol. Look, if it doesn't pan out I'm not gonna lose any sleep, but I swear we were really vibing. Not like she humored me with a dance but like once we began dancing we didn't stop and she introduced me to her GF which I take as a good sign. Oh well, f-it. Well remember that if shes single and she out on the town alot, she is hedging her bets. Youre not the only guy who has her number. She was probably waiting for a response from someone who she liked more. Once she got it, she didnt need to contact you again. It happens. Thats why you have to play th numbers game so you dont wait for just one.
make me believe Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Well, I think you should have said something more assertive than "so lets make those plans." I'd text or call her again and ask her to do something specific. "Would you like to grab a bite at _____ around 7:00 on Saturday?" Just pretend like the text yesterday never happened. If she doesn't respond to this one, then you know to move on.
Author paperchase Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Well remember that if shes single and she out on the town alot, she is hedging her bets. Youre not the only guy who has her number. She was probably waiting for a response from someone who she liked more. Once she got it, she didnt need to contact you again. It happens. Thats why you have to play th numbers game so you dont wait for just one. Yeah, I do play the numbers game. Got 5 #s that night and not one good lead. lol! Back to the drawing board.
Wallace1 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Yeah, I do play the numbers game. Got 5 #s that night and not one good lead. lol! Back to the drawing board. The last girl I dated for awhile had this room mate that would wake up after a night out at the bars/dancing, go through her phone and be like: He was sweaty - Delete He bought me lots of shots, too bad for him - Delete He was really cute, but smelled like cheeseburgers - Delete He was amazing at dancing, lol - Delete I F***ed him last night - Delete etc. etc. It was a game to get some laughs, occasionally she'd keep one around. Morale of the story is depending on the scene/type of place you're at, you're likely not going to be taken seriously no matter what you do.
Star Gazer Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Like MMB, I would have wanted you to take the lead. "So let's make those plans" is VERY passive, and indicates you want her to lead/plan. That's a no-no here. Text (or preferably, CALL her) and have something specific in mind, and suggest it. Dinner, drinks, whatever. But realize that since it's Friday, she may have already made plans.
Twenty-ten Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 "So let's make those plans" is VERY passive, and indicates you want her to lead/plan. That's a no-no here. Totally agree with that. Having said that, if I were really interested in a guy and he said "ok about those plans" I would simply respond "ok what did you have in mind" He would def get a response and not a day later. So I think you should move on, you put it out there contacting her again will only inflate her ego, let some other chump do that. Don't be "that" guy. You asked her, passive or not, you made the move. Women who need men to over chase them are not worth your while, they will always want you to work hard for them, and relationships should not be about working hard to keep someone's attention.
ADF Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Ask her directly. Say (or text, or whatever), "Look, I got the impression you were interested in seeing more of me. Is that so? If it is, please let me know. I'd like to see you again, soo." And leave it there. If she responds, great. If not, leave it alone. Unfortunately, a lot of people are all about making things as easy as possible on themselves, and will bend over backwards to avoid having to have reject someone directly. You basically need to cut them off at the pass and force them to give a stright answer.
Silver_star Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 So I met a girl at a party last weekend and we danced the night away. She gazed at me the whole time and there seemed to be chemistry. The next day she text me: "Good time on the dance floor last night!" In an hour of so I text back: "Agreed! Can't wait to go out." In an hour she responds: "Most definitely. Text me towards the end of the week and we can make plans." So on Thursday I text "So let's make those plans" and 20 hours later I've heard nothing. Now I've had women give me their number and then just not respond when I call or text. It happens. Women give their number for all types of reasons I'll never understand. But I've never had someone chase me at the onset and then ignore me before we ever talk or go out. A part of me wonders if she got my text, but I don't want to text back and sound desperate. I would call, but she did say text and some people prefer that mode of communication until they know you better. How should I proceed? Text back more specifically. You left an open statement "lets make those plans" and that leaves her to make all the decisions. Some girls prefer a guy give some options....for example "so what were your plans this weekend? I was thinking of going to _____ with these people or _____, but not sure yet...how about you? " This doesnt put the pressure on her to initiate a date but it does ensure the comunication about a meeting this weekend will take place.
Star Gazer Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Ask her directly. Say (or text, or whatever), "Look, I got the impression you were interested in seeing more of me. Is that so? If it is, please let me know. I'd like to see you again, soo." I wouldn't respond to that message at all.
carhill Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 How should I proceed? Collect more numbers and pursue other options. Care less about what the ladies are doing and thinking and more about your own agenda.
Barky Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Collect more numbers and pursue other options. Care less about what the ladies are doing and thinking and more about your own agenda. This is the only advice of worth I've seen on these boards in about a month. Seriously, if you're worried about the grammar, syntax and word-choice of every thing that comes out of your mouth (or of every text message you send), you need to have more women in your rotation. You should spend 50% of your dating life actually going out on dates with women and the other 50% prospecting for new women.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Like MMB, I would have wanted you to take the lead. "So let's make those plans" is VERY passive, and indicates you want her to lead/plan. That's a no-no here. Yeah, big turn-off for first time up to bat, IMO. If I got that text from a guy, I would find it lame that he didn't have a suggestion of when and what. And I think texting to make first date plans is weak. A phone call with a specific invite would get be very likely to get a yes from me. That text would be much less likely to arouse any interest to see the guy.
Author paperchase Posted March 15, 2010 Author Posted March 15, 2010 Yeah, big turn-off for first time up to bat, IMO. If I got that text from a guy, I would find it lame that he didn't have a suggestion of when and what. And I think texting to make first date plans is weak. A phone call with a specific invite would get be very likely to get a yes from me. That text would be much less likely to arouse any interest to see the guy. Well, I left a message last Friday to the effect of "Hey, hope all is well. I'm calling to set something up for the weekend. Talk to you soon." Of course I made no reference to my earlier text that went unanswered. She text me back that evening: "Hey [my name]! How about we grab a drink tomorrow somewhere on ___ street?" Then I responded with a recommended place, we set up a time and we met and had a great date for ab 3 hours that ended with a sweet brief kiss on the lips. She also wanted to set up the next date for the following week so we picked a day. The next morning, she text me: "Thanks for taking me out last night! Had fun with you." I returned the compliment. So, there you have it. Still don't really understand women. lol! The only phone call I got from her is when she was parking near our date spot and couldn't find the exact location. But we had plenty to talk about when we were together. Still I think the follow up phone call got her attention. It may have been the catalyst to getting that first date. If she fakes after the good time we had then I'll really be confused. ha, ha.
DustySaltus Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Well, I left a message last Friday to the effect of "Hey, hope all is well. I'm calling to set something up for the weekend. Talk to you soon." Of course I made no reference to my earlier text that went unanswered. She text me back that evening: "Hey [my name]! How about we grab a drink tomorrow somewhere on ___ street?" Then I responded with a recommended place, we set up a time and we met and had a great date for ab 3 hours that ended with a sweet brief kiss on the lips. She also wanted to set up the next date for the following week so we picked a day. The next morning, she text me: "Thanks for taking me out last night! Had fun with you." I returned the compliment. So, there you have it. Still don't really understand women. lol! The only phone call I got from her is when she was parking near our date spot and couldn't find the exact location. But we had plenty to talk about when we were together. Still I think the follow up phone call got her attention. It may have been the catalyst to getting that first date. If she fakes after the good time we had then I'll really be confused. ha, ha. Glad things worked out for you. Good luck.
homersheineken Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Well, I left a message last Friday to the effect of "Hey, hope all is well. I'm calling to set something up for the weekend. Talk to you soon." Of course I made no reference to my earlier text that went unanswered. She text me back that evening: "Hey [my name]! How about we grab a drink tomorrow somewhere on ___ street?" Then I responded with a recommended place, we set up a time and we met and had a great date for ab 3 hours that ended with a sweet brief kiss on the lips. She also wanted to set up the next date for the following week so we picked a day. The next morning, she text me: "Thanks for taking me out last night! Had fun with you." I returned the compliment. So, there you have it. Still don't really understand women. lol! The only phone call I got from her is when she was parking near our date spot and couldn't find the exact location. But we had plenty to talk about when we were together. Still I think the follow up phone call got her attention. It may have been the catalyst to getting that first date. If she fakes after the good time we had then I'll really be confused. ha, ha. What's not to understand? You were bold, called her with a specific plan. And she responded positively... Keep that in mind if this doesn't work out
Ruby Slippers Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 What's not to understand? You were bold, called her with a specific plan. And she responded positively... Keep that in mind if this doesn't work out Yes! She ignored the text suggestion (I probably would have, too), and responded favorably to the direct approach. She's letting you know what she likes. Glad you had a fun date!
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