payalkhanna Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I had been in relationship with this Mr.X for more than one and half year.I am not sure whether this can be called a 'relationship' ! I found him first time on internet.We started this as friendship.He is not married.We had a very clean interaction over net, soon phone numbers were exchanged but the calls were very limited and we always had just casual talk.Maybe he was too cautious.Gradually I started falling for him but was scared to disclose as I feared losing his friendship. Then I started feeling that we should atleast meet in person and told him about it.He too was much interested somehow he couldn't turn up due to some official meeting.We stay in two different cities.Again after a long gap I decided to meet but got cancelled due to his problems.I did not ask the reason as I always trusted him more than me.For the fourth time when he was asked to meet me he had some reason.Now I feel that he is deliberately avoiding the meeting.I do not expect any kind of commitment from his side as we both are not sure if either one is interested in taking this further.Regarding his identity I do not have any suspicion as I have seen his photos and met his relative .And I do have his relative's proof.What I want to know is why is he afraid of me ?He knows very well that I will never misuse this friendship in tarnishing his reputation.Will men keep a distance when they develop feelings for a lady ? How should I confront him ? I do not want to create any big scene ,everything should be cleared in a polite manner.One more point he has never avoided my phone calls, even if he is busy will leave an sms.Never apologises for not turning up.Apart from this he is a kind human being. I cannot stand this anymore.I do not want to push him too much.Does he have the fear of rejection ? He seems to be a shy type. Why men behave like this ?I am in a very hurt condition.Is he seeking a casual online dating only ?
Ronni_W Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 It's impossible to know what are his specific thoughts, feelings and desires...but it does seem clear that his are not the same as yours. The challenge here is that you went ahead and "started falling for him" without having met him and without any signs that falling for him would be a smart move on your part. It appears that it was, in fact, a very unwise thing for you to do. He does not wish to meet with you, for whatever reason(s). If he wanted to, he would have found a way to do it by now. In your heart of hearts you know this, yes? He has also canceled on your four (4!) times without so much as an apology. That is a sign not only of disinterest but also disrespect. I would suggest that it is time to withdraw your feelings of affection towards this man and...really just stop communicating with him at all. He's not good for you; he's not treating you well. You deserve MUCH better than this. If I had to guess...to be honest, I think he is married or in a long-term, committed relationship. Perhaps he started this whole online thing with you as a lark and now it's just become a habit for him. In any case, it's not costing HIM anything of significance. Most importantly though, YOU deserve much better than what you're getting from him. Change it. Stop communicating with him. Find someone who shares your feelings and desires.
boogieboy Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 He doesnt want to meet with you because he is not attracted to you like that. No guy would turn down a womans meetup invite that they are into...especially she asked him out. He is probably just looking for an ego boost from you. He talks to you knowing you are into him, and knowing that he will never meet up with you. He gives you excuses of why you cant meet up with him to keep you on the hook. if he told you he wasnt interested you would have moved on long ago. At least I hope you would have, you dont need new friends THIS badly.
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I'm surprised that you have invested a year and a half with someone you have never met. It is true that if he wanted to meet you, he would have. You many never know the reasons for his behavior. You should definitely stop communicating with him and recognize the feelings you have can't be genuine since you don't really know him. Have you wondered why you would spend this length of time pursuing something so sketchy and misleading?
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