That_girl Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I have been dumped approximately 2 months ago, and although I felt absolutely HORRIBLE at first.... the pain was starting to subside quite a bit. However, I still think about this a lot. I think about how he thinks I'm good enough for him. That is essentially what someone is saying when they dump you. That feeling really hurts. He said he wanted nothing to do with me ever again, and he has not made any contact whatsoever since. I haven't either. I couldn't bare to stand his reaction (which I'm sure would be negative). I just can't shake the feeling that someone who supposedly loved me could think so little of me. To basically move on with life after throwing me in the trash and not give a **** if I'm doing alright. Wow....human beings are terrible, relentless, and cruel. I read a thread on here a little while ago about our damaged ego's are what causes us 99% of the pain. I don't know about that....it's not just my ego. It's that after spending a considerable time apart, I'm starting to miss him. I even tried dating again....only to be rejected yet again after the guy found out I wasn't into casual sex. Now I feel so much worse because my ex was never all about sex like most guys. God I feel like such a loser. I've lost the person that I loved.... I just remember that look of disdain and disgust on his face when I showed up on his doorstep begging him not to do this. He must think I'm so pathetic. I know I shouldn't care what he thinks....but I do. I care that he thinks I'm just not worth it. It makes me feel like maybe I'm not worth it sometimes. I'm surprised that I haven't felt the urge to make contact. I really don't want to all....so that must be a good sign. Or maybe it's because I'm terrified of being crushed again. Soooo awful...... I feel for all you. I hope you all find peace with YOURSELVES at some point soon. It's so difficult.....particularly when you are dumped....to move on. Sorry I just needed to vent.
Andrew1984 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Being reduced to begging is as low as it gets. I was there. feeling of desperation reduces you to it. Makes you feel like a pathetic looser I know. It crushes your self esteem because you are ashamed you have been reduced to the last ditch effort to try and get them back. I know what its like feel so confused as to how someone that told you they loved you now dosent give a damn how you feel. its like a total flip flop from how you thought they felt about you. It just dosent make sense. they were your source of strength now its gone. you think you can reason with them but that fails too as they have already made up their mind, or just dont care anymore. I dunno. Im in the same spot as you so I cant really offer any advice other than let you know that you arent alone, and that there are other men out there that will love you. you just have to find them in time. -Andrew
Eisenhower Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I think on some level, everything is about our ego. Part of why we enjoyed being in love with them was how they made us feel about ourselves - confident, attractive, desired. We think they're attractive and that also makes us feel attractive. So when they dump us, yes, it absolutely deflates our ego and leaves us feeling terrible. You're onto something. Fixing it is the hard part. Eisenhower
cdt76 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Unfortunately, in my case, the ego plays a HUGE roll in all my misery. She left me for a friend of mine. Is he better then me? Does he offer her the things I didn't? How could she possibly be attracted to him over me? These questions and many more bombard me everyday and the anger that I could be substituted so easily and without any remorse just makes me sick to my stomach. I've developed a core full of anger so thick it's going to take years to get through and out of my system...unless it becomes legal to actually woop his A$$! How could anyone choose a liar and cheater over me? How could I be so aweful as to be left for a guy who is completely at home being a sociopath, incapable of telling the truth to anyone? Yes, my ego has been tortured into submission and beaten down to the point that my self esteem is no longer visible. Dating is cruel. Love seems to be an enigma that I want more then anything in the world yet the risk is too great to leap for. In my situation, yes, the ego is my enemy and the cause of much of my pain. It causes the hate and the anger and the rage and it keeps it burning in my stomach. To accept that I'm not worthy of her or that he is better than me in some way is too disturbing for me to contemplate. I'm a good man who is falable and imperfect but I'm a good man. I was great to her. GREAT! I made mistakes like putting my kids before her (like that is a mistake)...so how could I possibly be something less than desirable? F$%^^&**(JK(K()*^%#@
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