tylerdurden Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Ok, so I won't initiate any contact with her. But what if she texts me? What if she calls me? Do I ignore those? Do I send short replies that gives no indication that I want her back? What if she wants to meet up (just as friends)? Do I say no? Do I ignore her? Do I agree and we meet up, and again, I make no indication that I want her back and instead just be the funny and charming guy that made her attracted to me? How old are you? Listen to everything that has been said, dont ever do that, you will regret it but we all learn by ours mistakes..You need to go strictly NO CONTACT. It means you need to vanish from the surface of the earth, until you get yourself together , and then when you feel more confident go back to her and see whats happening...
northstar1 Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Ok, so I won't initiate any contact with her. But what if she texts me? What if she calls me? Do I ignore those? Do I send short replies that gives no indication that I want her back? What if she wants to meet up (just as friends)? Do I say no? Do I ignore her? Do I agree and we meet up, and again, I make no indication that I want her back and instead just be the funny and charming guy that made her attracted to me? I am guessing you are young, so I'm not trying to be rude, because we've all been there. The answer to all of these is no contact. No texts, No meeting up. Ignore her. Are you honestly reading the replies here, because everyone has told you the same thing. No meeting up, no friendship, no texts.
Author KewlBum Posted March 13, 2010 Author Posted March 13, 2010 What I'm asking though is not how best to get over her. What I'm asking is how best to get her back. I know that sounds idiotic because I have almost no chance, and hoping for something again will only keep my heart broken. But when I ask how best to get her back, i know the chances are very slim...I won't be holding out hope that I'll get her back again. My last post refers to what I can do to best make her miss me and want to be with me again. I'm not going to be completely hung up on it, nor will I be constantly thinking that we'll get back soon one day. I will live my life, and I will move on. But I might as well do what'll be the best route in making her want me again, considering I know that it's not exactly alot that I will be doing. Do you guys understand what I'm saying? Basically I want to know if having the semi occasional contact with her (and even less occasional seeing her in person) will be better in making her miss me. Or would having no contact at all would be better. I know that it seems like a stupid question because you think it'll set me back in moving on, but it won't. I WILL be going about and living my life.
northstar1 Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 What I'm asking though is not how best to get over her. What I'm asking is how best to get her back. I know that sounds idiotic because I have almost no chance, and hoping for something again will only keep my heart broken. But when I ask how best to get her back, i know the chances are very slim...I won't be holding out hope that I'll get her back again. My last post refers to what I can do to best make her miss me and want to be with me again. I'm not going to be completely hung up on it, nor will I be constantly thinking that we'll get back soon one day. I will live my life, and I will move on. But I might as well do what'll be the best route in making her want me again, considering I know that it's not exactly alot that I will be doing. Do you guys understand what I'm saying? Basically I want to know if having the semi occasional contact with her (and even less occasional seeing her in person) will be better in making her miss me. Or would having no contact at all would be better. I know that it seems like a stupid question because you think it'll set me back in moving on, but it won't. I WILL be going about and living my life. Your best bet to get her back is to do nothing. Absolutely nothing You can't make someone want you again. They either have those feelings or they don't. Once they are gone, they rarely come back, but if they do come back or she realizes what she is missing it wont be through you being her friend or hanging out with her. She isn't going to forget about you, so if she is going to think about you, then it will be on her own terms. You can't make her do anything at this point. All you can do is to walk away, live your life , hang out with friends. IF she ends up regretting breaking up with you, then nothing will prevent her from letting you know. But that has nothing do with your actions now. So, that means you stop thinking about ways to make her want you again. There aren't any other than leaving her alone and letting her do her own thinking. I know its rough and painful, we've been there. But honestly dude, you need to just carry on as if you won't get back with her right now. And if she does miss you and wants to contact you, then it's a pleasant surprise. Anything else and you'll be hanging onto false hope
Author KewlBum Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Your best bet to get her back is to do nothing. Absolutely nothing You can't make someone want you again. They either have those feelings or they don't. Once they are gone, they rarely come back, but if they do come back or she realizes what she is missing it wont be through you being her friend or hanging out with her. She isn't going to forget about you, so if she is going to think about you, then it will be on her own terms. You can't make her do anything at this point. All you can do is to walk away, live your life , hang out with friends. IF she ends up regretting breaking up with you, then nothing will prevent her from letting you know. But that has nothing do with your actions now. So, that means you stop thinking about ways to make her want you again. There aren't any other than leaving her alone and letting her do her own thinking. I know its rough and painful, we've been there. But honestly dude, you need to just carry on as if you won't get back with her right now. And if she does miss you and wants to contact you, then it's a pleasant surprise. Anything else and you'll be hanging onto false hope I AM going to carry on with my life. I won't be hanging on to any hope of getting her with her again. I just wanted to know what other people felt would be the best way for her to miss me enough. That's all. Whatever the best way is, I'll do that. I'll do it, but I won't be hanging on to hope at all. I WILL be out there living my life.
myhearthurtsbadly Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 star has given you some sound advice take it or leave it. From my experience they ONLY come back if you disappear for a month. I know its difficult to do but it does sometimes work. HOWEVER more often than not, even if you do get her back, she will break up with you again within a month or two. This has just happened with me and my ex, got back together 2 months ago, the other day boom shes gone again. You and i need to find girls who are willing to work at a relationship. Too many of them want everything to be perfect all the time and thats unreasonable but they dont see it. Ask yourself if she is really worth taking back. Trust me it hurts a whole lot more second time around because a part of you knew it would happen which meant the relationship could never turn back to how it originally was.
Author KewlBum Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 star has given you some sound advice take it or leave it. From my experience they ONLY come back if you disappear for a month. I know its difficult to do but it does sometimes work. HOWEVER more often than not, even if you do get her back, she will break up with you again within a month or two. This has just happened with me and my ex, got back together 2 months ago, the other day boom shes gone again. You and i need to find girls who are willing to work at a relationship. Too many of them want everything to be perfect all the time and thats unreasonable but they dont see it. Ask yourself if she is really worth taking back. Trust me it hurts a whole lot more second time around because a part of you knew it would happen which meant the relationship could never turn back to how it originally was. So does that mean not contacting her even if she contacts me first? Do I just ignore her?
LovelyDaze Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 So does that mean not contacting her even if she contacts me first? Do I just ignore her? Like myhearthurts' said...EVEN if you do what we all are telling you and she DOES come back on her knees, why do you believe that it will last forever? Trust us. Some of us (including myself) have went back and/or accepted back and ex. It was okie-dokie for awhile the 2nd time around alright until it fizzled. The 2nd breakup ends up hurting worse than the 1st time. It's been said that an ex is an ex for a reason. It's a territory that shouldn't be walked through again. The best thing to do is to learn from that ex, that relationship and especially all the negatives and positives that went with it. Now, KewlBum..we all here at LS have a feeling that you will still try some odd tactic to get her back. All I can say is that you are just going to have to see what a mistake that will end up being and learn from it. We are all not trying to crush your dreams of getting back with her just to be cruel, we are saying it because we DO care and have been there and done that. Hope you have the strength to drop the idea of trying to get her back and just live your life happy. The right girl will come into your life when you least suspect it...that's how it happens just about every time!
Ronni_W Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 What I'm asking though is not how best to get over her. What I'm asking is how best to get her back. How best to get her back is strict no contact. Even if she contacts you, just ignore it 100%. That's how best to get her back. I get that you understand that whatever "strategy" you use may not work. But the strategy to (try to) get her back is strict no contact. No texts, emails, Facebook messages or calls (and whatever else) from you to her and zero -- absolutely zero responses from you to her. That is how best to (try to) get her back.
Author KewlBum Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 How best to get her back is strict no contact. Even if she contacts you, just ignore it 100%. That's how best to get her back. I get that you understand that whatever "strategy" you use may not work. But the strategy to (try to) get her back is strict no contact. No texts, emails, Facebook messages or calls (and whatever else) from you to her and zero -- absolutely zero responses from you to her. That is how best to (try to) get her back. But what if she contacts me and her intention is getting back with me but she doesn't outright say it because, well she wants me to do it. If I ignore her completely, don't I run the risk of putting her off? She may think that I don't want her anymore and she'll move on.
myhearthurtsbadly Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 No. If she really wants you back and she means it she will do anything to get hold of you, shel ring your parents, come round you house, talk to your friends anything. I made the stupid mistake of letting my ex back in too easy because her wanting to come back was all i wanted to here. They then take you for granted if you do get back together and inevitably it ends in a month or two JUST LIKE IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. You are talking to real people who have been or are going through what you are. Unfortunately i have to talk to my ex to get my stuff back but as soon as i have i will go NC on her for as long as i need. Its hard but its neccessary.
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