ctwatlanta Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I'm curious to get a womans perspective here; however, just as happy to get any sage advice from men. Situation is I met someone online about 1.5 months ago. At first we spoke probably once a week for the first month but for the last week or so she started suddenly calling daily and txting me several times per day. Apparently her interest level went up. She's an extremely beautiful young woman getting her masters degree right now as well as working full time so I understand how busy she is. That said I've asked her out on a few different occasions and she says she's busy with school or whatever so I don't push it any longer and haven't asked her out in about a week now. We've never met face to face obviously so this has been over the phone and via Facebook thus far. I'm curious to know how I should go about dealing with this because at this point I am getting tiresome of the phone calls, txt msg's, etc but no real commitment to meet. She acts like she's very attracted to me all the time when she speaks with me but I would have thought that she'd have made time to at least have coffee or something by now. So, ladies how much more time should I invest speaking with this person before I give an ultimatum...or should I just cut bait and say goodbye? If you suggest I give an ultimatum how do I go about tactfully doing so? Thanks in advance.
carhill Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 'I'm happy to entertain your witty reparte in person. For me, friendships and relationships happen in person. Will you join me for dinner at xxx this Friday evening?' If the answer is no or if excuses are made, politely thank her, hang up and block her number. Next
aerogurl87 Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I'm curious to get a womans perspective here; however, just as happy to get any sage advice from men. Situation is I met someone online about 1.5 months ago. At first we spoke probably once a week for the first month but for the last week or so she started suddenly calling daily and txting me several times per day. Apparently her interest level went up. She's an extremely beautiful young woman getting her masters degree right now as well as working full time so I understand how busy she is. That said I've asked her out on a few different occasions and she says she's busy with school or whatever so I don't push it any longer and haven't asked her out in about a week now. We've never met face to face obviously so this has been over the phone and via Facebook thus far. I'm curious to know how I should go about dealing with this because at this point I am getting tiresome of the phone calls, txt msg's, etc but no real commitment to meet. She acts like she's very attracted to me all the time when she speaks with me but I would have thought that she'd have made time to at least have coffee or something by now. So, ladies how much more time should I invest speaking with this person before I give an ultimatum...or should I just cut bait and say goodbye? If you suggest I give an ultimatum how do I go about tactfully doing so? Thanks in advance. First off how far away from you does she live? Is it in the same city, within reasonable driving distance, or kinda far off? That will make all the difference. With that said, the guy I'm talking to now, lives in Canada and I live in the US. Within one month of us talking he told me he wanted to meet and we've decided to meet in late May. So if she lives far off that may be a reason why she's not giving you a straight answer. Other than that, I think she's stringing you along for now because you're kinda like a filler for her time until she finds a guy she really likes.
craw Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 'I'm happy to entertain your witty reparte in person. For me, friendships and relationships happen in person. Will you join me for dinner at xxx this Friday evening?' If the answer is no or if excuses are made, politely thank her, hang up and block her number. Next well said! great way to ask.
Rearden Metal Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Neither. You don't have to cut bait yet, and you don't have to invest more time than you are. Back off a little, I guess. She's probably still preoccupied with school/life and doesn't have tons of time.
MalachiX Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Sounds like she just wants a low-key friend right now. You've already put yourself out there and she hasn't bitten. I wouldn't stop contact if you enjoy her as a friend but I wouldn't expect anything more at this point.
Author ctwatlanta Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Thanks for the advice everyone. To answer one of your questions - yes, she lives here in Atlanta near me. So, I'm thinking you all are right. I'm probably someone that just keeps her entertained while she continues her search. I won't contact her again. However, if she contacts me (which she hasn't done today oddly) I'm going to ask if she'd like to meet once more and if she gives me any answer other than "yes" I'm done. I'm of the belief that if someone's truly interested in you they'll make the effort to suggest a time and place...even if it's 1 hour for coffee.
threebyfate Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I agree that if she lives in the same city, there's no excuse not to meet after 1.5 months.
D-Lish Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I'd ask one more time and if she doesn't accept or makes an excuse, cut your losses. No matter how busy someone is, they will make time for you if they are interested.
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