Author Green Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 It entirely depends on what kind of man you are. For me, since I like banging lots of women, a social institution that promotes monogamy is not in my best interest. Fortunately, nowadays if you don't want to get married, you don't have to. I'm pretty sure some married men out there are banging plenty of women
Barky Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I'm pretty sure some married men out there are banging plenty of women Like Tiger Woods, and boy, is he going to pay for it. Why get married if you're going to bang lots of women?
Author Green Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Like Tiger Woods, and boy, is he going to pay for it. Why get married if you're going to bang lots of women? The price of life is death
sweetjasmine Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I'm pretty sure some married men out there are banging plenty of women Wow, that's a great idea! People should totally get married even though they know that they are definitely going to f-ck around. They should absolutely promise to be faithful and legally bind themselves to another person with the intention of cheating on them instead of staying single and having all the fun they want without intentionally misleading and hurting another person.
Barky Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 The price of life is death that's a very profound non-answer
alphamale Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Is marriage mostly for the sake of women? actually marriage is more for the sake of women AND any offspring that may result. men generally get the short end of the stick
Author Green Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Yes its all for the woman, heck back in the day the guy would get paid actual money to marry the woman. The older the woman the more money he would get paid to marry her. seriously people are saying silly things. First off show me the proof that says in todays age a man lives longer if hes been divorced (aka married) Second you say a man is more likely to remarry after a marriage ends? I don't know if that is true or where you guys get any of these so called "statistics." It explains nothing if it is true because you still have women pestering him to get married.
stillafool Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 There is a body of research that demonstrates marriage to be associated with positive health outcomes for men. http://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB5018/index1.html. If I recall correctly, the health outcomes for married women were not, in fact, as good as for married men. I've read studies like these. Basically, marriage is doom for a woman. My grandma had 4 sisters. My grandma was the only one who married and had children. She died in her 60's. Her sisters are still living in their 80's and 90's and still active and going strong. I don't know, you do the math. I wish women would consider these things before their hormones trick them.
stillafool Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 This would be true were it not for the fact that marriage has significant legal benefits. That's the part no one talks about. For example, in my state (Illinois), a married couple can purchase their primary home under a rule called Tenancy in the Entirety. What this means, in a nutshell, is that if either husband of wife accumulate debt, creditors may NOT force the sale of their home to satsify that debt. They may be broke, but they won't be homeless. That is a critical legal protection ONLY available to married couples. Well if this is the only reason to marry - don't. Like you said there is no good reason for a man to marry and I certainly don't see this as one either. So actually, wouldn't you agree that it is best not to marry, not accumulate a lot of debt and then you won't have to worry about losing your home?
New Again Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I feel so dense today. Would anyone who is participating in this thread be interested in making an itemized list of what the benefits/cons to women and/or men and marriage are (or what you feel they are)?
alphamale Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Would anyone who is participating in this thread be interested in making an itemized list of what the benefits/cons to women and/or men and marriage are (or what you feel they are)? benefits to men: None cons to men: Too numerous to list benefits to women: Too numerous to list cons to women: Changing last name and associated paperwork
sally4sara Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 It is a personal choice. No one HAS to get married. In some marriages, it favors the man. In some marriages, it favors the woman. In others, the two realize they are not simply a man and/or a woman, but just two people who work well together. So glad I married a person and not just a man. He works well with this person.
New Again Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 benefits to men: None cons to men: Too numerous to list benefits to women: Too numerous to list cons to women: Changing last name and associated paperwork Heh, thanks? 85% of this thread consists of such general statements, hence I was wondering what specifics people were basing their "men benefit more" or "women benefit more" statements on. I'm not being snotty, I really am curious. I feel like I'm missing something. But, I am also having one of those days...
alphamale Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 85% of this thread consists of such general statements, hence I was wondering what specifics people were basing their "men benefit more" or "women benefit more" statements on. ... because when i was married i basically got shafted and on top of it had to give her a ca$h settlement after the divorce. she didn't cook or clean and never worked during our 3 year marriage.
sweetjasmine Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I feel like I'm missing something. What you're missing is that a lot of people have a habit of focusing on their failed relationship and assuming that every relationship is exactly the same for everyone on earth all the time. So if you got cheated on by a man, every man's always a cheater, and if your marriage failed because she became a crazy nagging witch, then every married woman becomes a crazy nagging witch. And you draw all your conclusions from that: marriage sucks because women suck, relationships are all doomed because all men are cheaters, etc.
threebyfate Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 85% of this thread consists of such general statements, hence I was wondering what specifics people were basing their "men benefit more" or "women benefit more" statements on. I'm not being snotty, I really am curious. I feel like I'm missing something. But, I am also having one of those days...I'm more than happy to comply. In both my marriages, I cooked for my men. Also did the laundry, albeit they each had to do their own ironing and drycleaning. Their social schedules were partially but not fully maintained by me, which they preferred. All trip planning was done by me, even when I wasn't going. For my second marriage, I'm physically carrying around and bearing the next generation. The things we both benefitted from was regular sex, shared living expenses and companionship with a loved one. The things I solely benefitted from both my marriages, was someone to do the dishes, when I cooked. Okay, beyond that, I'm drawing a blank, someone help me out.
New Again Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Thanks Alpha for clarifying that for me Thanks TBF. I've never been married, however based on every serious, long-term relationship I've been in, I could pretty confidently say that the general idea of the following would apply to me also: I'm more than happy to comply. In both my marriages, I cooked for my men. Also did the laundry, albeit they each had to do their own ironing and drycleaning. Their social schedules were partially but not fully maintained by me, which they preferred. All trip planning was done by me, even when I wasn't going. For my second marriage, I'm physically carrying around and bearing the next generation. The things we both benefitted from was regular sex, shared living expenses and companionship with a loved one. The things I solely benefitted from both my marriages, was someone to do the dishes, when I cooked. Okay, beyond that, I'm drawing a blank, someone help me out. Also have to agree with Sally4Sara's post though, especially in that, while the above could be true for me, I believe the reason for that is because of who I am, and the men I tend to date, rather than because I'm a woman who dates men... Although I suppose social conditioning, the way I was raised and so on does come into play, as it does for the men I date. Hmm, and around and around we go.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Many women want marriage because they're told they want it. I understand not wanting marriage. But don't tell women they only want it because they are told they want it. It's like this, for many women, having a relationship without marriage is like a man getting sex with no bjs ever again or bjs with no sex ever again. We want the complete commitment. If a man wants to marry you, he really wants to commit to you. Telling women they like marriage only because they are told they do would be like me telling you, you didn't really like bjs. You only think you do. It undermines an adult's ability to decide what they like or don't like. Alphamale: benefits to men: None cons to men: Too numerous to list benefits to women: Too numerous to list cons to women: Changing last name and associated paperwork BJS benefits to women: None cons to women: Can be a number of things benefits to men: benefit completely..too numerous to list cons to men: none
Mr White Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 It benefits women, but few women deserve it with the way they take care of the relationship. I think my gf is one of them - she seems most comfortable taking care about people and basically being in the "cute wife" role that takes pleasure in keeping the home fires burning, so to speak. It is hard not to want to respond with the same level of devotion. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of marriages where it is ALL about the woman (and not about the family), and that has to be the most hellish way to live on earth.
New Again Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 It benefits women, but few women deserve it with the way they take care of the relationship. I think my gf is one of them - she seems most comfortable taking care about people and basically being in the "cute wife" role that takes pleasure in keeping the home fires burning, so to speak. It is hard not to want to respond with the same level of devotion. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of marriages where it is ALL about the woman (and not about the family), and that has to be the most hellish way to live on earth. Interesting Mr White. If you don't mind my asking, could you clarify your post a bit? You say that marriage benefits women, but then all I see in your post is how it benefits you. Of course, this statement assumes that you value (as it appears you do) having a woman to "keep the home fires burning" and take care of the family; as opposed to you actually really freaking hate that, and only put up with it because it makes her happy..... So, how does a woman benefit more than you from a marriage? Specifics?
St. Nick Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Wow, that's a great idea! People should totally get married even though they know that they are definitely going to f-ck around. They should absolutely promise to be faithful and legally bind themselves to another person with the intention of cheating on them instead of staying single and having all the fun they want without intentionally misleading and hurting another person. Prior to the 20th century idealism that people should get married for love, people married for practical reasons: wealth and to pass on their legacy, both the rich and poor. Love was secondary. Many marriages were unhappy but the church prohibited divorce. That's why adultery was so big among both men and women; in fact, in Victorian England it was fashionable. The concept of marrying purely or mainly for love and being monogamous doesn't seem to be working well. Maybe it's time to go back to the old ways.
New Again Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 It benefits women, but few women deserve it with the way they take care of the relationship. I think my gf is one of them - she seems most comfortable taking care about people and basically being in the "cute wife" role that takes pleasure in keeping the home fires burning, so to speak. It is hard not to want to respond with the same level of devotion. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of marriages where it is ALL about the woman (and not about the family), and that has to be the most hellish way to live on earth. Interesting Mr White. If you don't mind my asking, could you clarify your post a bit? You say that marriage benefits women, but then all I see in your post is how it benefits you. Of course, this statement assumes that you value (as it appears you do) having a woman to "keep the home fires burning" and take care of the family; as opposed to you actually really freaking hate that, and only put up with it because it makes her happy..... So, how does a woman benefit more than you from a marriage? Specifics? Wanted to add:Or alternatively, I suppose you could go S4S's route: she personally is most blissful and fulfilled when she is taking care of you and a family, and you are also most blissful and fulfilled when she is taking care of you and your family, and therefore you both benefit equally, because you both are getting exactly what you need and want to be happy and fulfilled from a marriage, in a way you can't be from not being married...
New Again Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Prior to the 20th century idealism that people should get married for love, people married for practical reasons: wealth and to pass on their legacy, both the rich and poor. Love was secondary. Many marriages were unhappy but the church prohibited divorce. That's why adultery was so big among both men and women; in fact, in Victorian England it was fashionable. The concept of marrying purely or mainly for love and being monogamous doesn't seem to be working well. Maybe it's time to go back to the old ways. But then women get accused of being gold-diggers?
Rhythmic Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Marriage hardly means much anymore to anybody male or female. The only reason it is still held in such high regard is because everybody is raised in this society that drills in your head that marriage is the end game to any relationship. It doesn't really count unless you are "married" it isn't really true love unless you are "married" you aren't really committed unless you are "married" and so on. That is one of the reasons for the high divorce rate. Nobody really has a need to stick together anymore. Women can up and leave anytime since they now have their own jobs and can live just fine and men can just have their paychecks garnished to help support their kids. It is so easy to just up and leave thus so many do it. As for women benefiting so much in marriage then why is it that women are the ones who do most of the divorcing? Don't bother saying because they get so much money in divorce either because that is only true if they managed to marry a guy with a lot of money. For most women they are probably just getting something that might help at best. There aren't that many rich guys out there.
Woggle Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 It depends. All this caretaking that women talk about does not apply in my marriage. I am perfectly ca[able of taking care of myself and do not need a mother. If more men relearned the independence that we have lost most modern marriage would be of little to no benefit to us. Who actually enjoys living with a person that pretty much hates your guts and resents the hell out of you. I think that most women want their princess day and that is the peak of their commitment to a union. Finding a woman that is willing to put her money where her mouth is after the honeymoon is a very rare find.
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