tigressA Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) That's how long I've spent, on-and-off, talking (online) to this guy who messaged me on OKCupid a few days ago. I initially bypassed his message. I noticed that he was outside of my filters--3 years older than my maximum age requirement (he's 31) and he didn't even have a photo, which is normally a big red flag that screams "Don't bother!" to me. Out of curiosity though, I checked out his profile and he came off very intelligent and witty, sarcastic, which is what I like. So I planned to respond to his message, but decided to IM him instead when I saw he was online. Then that led to the epic on-and-off conversation. First time I've ever stayed up all night talking to someone. We've clicked really well. He e-mailed me a handful of pictures of himself, and he's very, very attractive. We've made tentative plans to meet next weekend. This is weird only because I didn't think all this would come out of IMing a guy with no picture, and over 30. I'm going with it though. Yay for taking chances and branching out. Edited March 11, 2010 by tigressA
make me believe Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Congrats!! That sounds exciting. Be careful not to build him up too much in your head before meeting him, though. I recommend cutting back on the online communication a bit until you meet in person and see what he's really like. IMO that's the best way to minimize disappointment/unrealistic expectations. Good luck with him!!
Author tigressA Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Thanks! It is very exciting. I do plan on cutting down the communication in the interim. I'm pretty anxious about meeting him, but in a good way.
Krytie TV Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Please prepare yourself for the letdown that comes from the disproportionate amount of "false connection" that online connections create. At this point, someone may feel highly letdown by the encounter.
alphamale Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 We've clicked really well. you won't know you've "clicked" until you meet in real life
EYECANDY000 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 . Yay for taking chances and branching out. Everyone should take a chance with something new every once in a while
alphamale Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Everyone should take a chance with something new every once in a while true but one should also take advice from their elders who are more experienced in these matters
northstar1 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 That's how long I've spent, on-and-off, talking (online) to this guy who messaged me on OKCupid a few days ago. I initially bypassed his message. I noticed that he was outside of my filters--3 years older than my maximum age requirement (he's 31) and he didn't even have a photo, which is normally a big red flag that screams "Don't bother!" to me. Out of curiosity though, I checked out his profile and he came off very intelligent and witty, sarcastic, which is what I like. So I planned to respond to his message, but decided to IM him instead when I saw he was online. Then that led to the epic on-and-off conversation. First time I've ever stayed up all night talking to someone. We've clicked really well. He e-mailed me a handful of pictures of himself, and he's very, very attractive. We've made tentative plans to meet next weekend. This is weird only because I didn't think all this would come out of IMing a guy with no picture, and over 30. I'm going with it though. Yay for taking chances and branching out. All I can say is don't put the cart before the horse. Wait until you meet him, see if you click and then do these things.
threebyfate Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 All I can say is don't put the cart before the horse. Wait until you meet him, see if you click and then do these things.Agreed. I also encourage you to talk to him on the phone, first, as well as keep your first meetings in public places.
Eeyore79 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I met someone online who looked handsome in his photos. I didn't notice that he had his mouth closed in all the photos... He turned up to meet me and he had huge lopsided teeth like a horse and walked with a stoop. He looked like the photos when he had his mouth closed, but when he opened his mouth he really looked awful. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement...
Author tigressA Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Geez, you're all sounding like you think I have no idea what I'm doing. Being serious, I do appreciate the concern, but I have met 4 other guys from this site, and only one of them turned out to be a dud--because I'd been slightly skeeved from the start and didn't trust my gut. Not that this guy is guaranteed to not be a dud, but I have connected with 3 others online, and each connection carried tremendously well into reality. I did speak with him on the phone earlier, and it went very well. We talked for a couple hours. He has a very nice voice.
carhill Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I remember a similar dynamic about twenty years ago when 'telephone' personals were the in thing. Got married and divorced all within the span of two days without any flesh touching. Reflecting upon that period, I saw two people with way too much time on their hands and who had pretty warped ideas about healthy interpersonal relationships. I was one of them Hope it works out for you. I thought you were dating another guy from DC. He's done?
Author tigressA Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Hope it works out for you. I thought you were dating another guy from DC. He's done? Thanks, Carhill. We're most likely meeting on the 19th, which is a week away. We've both acknowledged that the meeting should happen sooner rather than later because of the way we've connected so far online and over the phone. Yeah, DC guy is done. Has been for awhile. We kind of lost touch when he went abroad for work two months ago. The guy I've mentioned recently (in my thread about growing out of infatuation and changing personal views on monogamy, etc), I'm still seeing--the younger one who goes to my school. It's been three months with him already.
carhill Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Man, time flies.... it was like I was just reading you taking the train/bus down to DC... anyway, my usual advice about fewer electrons and more flesh plays here too. Keep it in the real. Good luck
craw Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 This forum is great - mostly sound advice, without peeps being rude! good luck tigress! rawwrrrrr
Author tigressA Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Yeah, it has been awhile. The 19th has been confirmed. He's driving from Philly to meet me. I think it's another good sign--unlike DC guy, he's making the effort to come to me. I'm confident it will go well. Of course, I'll be updating.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Just out of curiosity, how have you brought up to the other guys that you are consistently seeing (I think there's a young rather inexperienced one, right?) your new relationship style/philosophy? While I don't think I could deal with an open relationship, I do wonder what that talk would go like (who knows, maybe I'll change my mind one day!)
Author tigressA Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 Just out of curiosity, how have you brought up to the other guys that you are consistently seeing (I think there's a young rather inexperienced one, right?) your new relationship style/philosophy? While I don't think I could deal with an open relationship, I do wonder what that talk would go like (who knows, maybe I'll change my mind one day!) Well, the guy you mentioned is the only one I'm consistently seeing at this point, and has been for the last month or so. I've just been straightforward, saying that I don't want an exclusive commitment with anyone at the moment, and that he's free to stay or go depending on how he feels about it. That's all I do. What the guys do after I tell them that is up to them.
Barky Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I hate to wish ill on anybody but how funny will it be if he shows up and looks like Herve Villechaize...
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