Els Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) Brief summary - For our internship about 50 miles away, 8 of us had to carpool to get to the hospital everyday. 6 of them elected to share one car - lower individual transport costs, but they'd have to go there earlier and leave later to accommodate everyone. So another girl (let's call her A) and I (we're also the ones out of the 'clique', so to speak) just went by ourselves, and shared the toll/petrol costs 50/50. Now, there was one girl (B) from the other car who tagged along on the return journey with us several times, because we usually go back earlier than her own car. 'Several' means about 5+ times, and our daily transport cost was 30+ bucks. She didn't offer to offset the costs by paying the toll or anything, not even once. So at the end of our internship, A and I discussed, and decided to charge her 50 bucks all in all. This is standard practice - when I couldn't drive and A had to follow the other car, they charged her 10 bucks upon entry! (Even I think that was plain rude). Well, B refused to pay! She insists that it's too much, and that she followed us less than 5 times (yeah right...) This, to me, is the height of rudeness. She tagged along on such expensive car rides repeatedly, did not even make the initiative to pay, and when we just decided the amount she refuses to pay. Not sure what to do, frankly. Edited March 11, 2010 by Elswyth
Ronni_W Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I'm afraid there's not much you can do, about the past situation. But you can learn for next time -- make sure everyone is crystal clear about expectations, service fees and costs BEFORE things turn into such a mess. Personally, I don't think it was good form to unexpectedly, and only at the end of the internship, stick her with an "invoice for services already rendered." She ought to have been given the opportunity to accept, reject or negotiate up front. After the fact, at very least, there could/should have been discussions with her as to the price. This is standard practice - when I couldn't drive and A had to follow the other car, they charged her 10 bucks upon entry! I'm quite sure that I'm not understanding that properly: some of the interns charged another intern to drive behind their car? And the other intern actually went ahead and PAID them for their cheek and audacity? Please say it ain't so! But. Even if it is so, that doesn't make it "standard practice" that you two were obligated to follow -- *if* that's what they did, it really was much more a lesson in what and how NOT to do. IMO.
Author Els Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) Oh, no! Follow means sit IN the car. Definitely not follow behind. Hm, I never thought of the culture difference - here though, we don't even usually need to remind people of payment, and it's seen as VERY rude to straight-up tell someone to pay you, like how you would if you were a cab driver. They know how much petrol and toll costs, they should know how to offer. It's like helping a friend buy something - you don't straight-up ask him for the cash the next day or tell him you expect to have it before you buy it for him, he should take the initiative to pay you. In this case, we were waiting for her to offer - would you really hitch a 50 mile ride repeatedly without giving a thought to offering the people who were fetching you, compensation? Especially if they aren't close friends. As she didn't offer, though, we didn't have much of a choice. 50 bucks is a lot to college kids - we weren't given any stipend whatsoever for our internship, so every bit of it came out of our own pockets. And we did discuss it with her - she just said she wasn't going to pay. Did not negotiate a lower price. We're not even profitting - it IS one third of our cost on the days we took her. Probably less. In me and A's case, we hadn't stated terms and conditions before we started either - we both just knew how to split the bill 50/50 at the end. Thoughtful friends always offer to pay the toll if I'm fetching them on long distances, and I always do too. Edited March 11, 2010 by Elswyth
Ronni_W Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Oh, no! Follow means sit IN the car. Definitely not follow behind. Oh, crikey! Thank god for that -- I knew I must be getting it wrong . Yes, perhaps it is a culture difference. My own is more with you, though. It's also that 'B' must have been aware (?) that 'A' had been asked to pay when in the other car. Or maybe was NOT aware of that, and thus just thought these are the types of favours that friends do for each other? Possibly you or 'A' could let her know and perhaps then she'll realize that you're not actually being unreasonable or coming from left field, so to speak.
Author Els Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 She was in the car, yes, and she would definitely have seen and heard all of that. Good point, though, we should possibly remind her of that. I'm still really disgusted that she didn't even bother to offer, though. I've never seen cases where friends repeatedly fetch one another on 30 buck journeys as favours, unless they're close. She barely even speaks to us on a normal basis.
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