Kliik Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I'd like to hear some stories. I've only seriously dated one guy and been casually involved with a few others, so I still consider myself really inexperienced when it comes to developing a 'genuine' relationship. So how do you even move onto boy/girlfriend stage with someone? Do you start off as friends first, met at a bar/club/through mutual friends, online, etc...? And then how do you bring up the label once you've been seeing each other for a while? The reason I'm asking is that I can't seem to develop a strong relationship with a guy (past a physical one) and I'd really like to know how people fall in love and all that jazz. I really wanna know what I could work on, since I can only pretend that being single is awesome for so long. lol
quankanne Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 first meeting: He was a guest at the hotel where I worked as a front desk clerk. Across from my station was the hotel bar; one night, I could have sworn I heard a dog howling. crap, I thought to myself, how the hell did a dog get into the bar? so I went to investigate, and there he was, drunkenly trying to teach a couple of flyboys how to howl. Was fixing to fuss at him, then realized he had the most gorgeous blue eyes. 'You ever want to have kids, I'll help," was the first thing that came out of my mouth, then a warning to keep the howling to a minimum because it would disturb people in the restaurant that was across the hall from the bar ... of course, HE doesn't remember any of this I've got to note that I was still carrying a torch for the guy I thought was The One, so while I though Howling Boy had pretty eyes, I was completely consumed by the other guy. HB and I dated some, but nothing past a couple of dates, then his civil service contract took him back to his base in Florida. About six months later, he was reassigned to my college town, and he said he wanted to get together with me. we dated off and on for about two years, and finally got married in 1992. funny how I never really considered him marriage material even though we were pretty much exclusive, because I was still so hung up on the guy I thought was the one ... God surprises you by putting people in your life who are meant to be there, even though you might be completely oblivious to the fact, like I was to answer your question, yeah, I guess I could say we were friends first, even now as a married couple, and that's made a huge difference in how I approach the relationship today ...
Meaplus3 Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Mine? Well I meet him when I was a waitress. Turns out we both attended the same college and did not know it. I'll never forget him. And often wonder how his life turned out. Mea:)
make me believe Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I met my bf through a mutual friend. I think that's the best way to go because you can hang out casually in groups at first and if there is mutual interest, progress to going on dates, etc. In my case, there was an immediate attraction & interest, so we started seeing each other right away. It quickly progressed to bf/gf after that. The reason I'm asking is that I can't seem to develop a strong relationship with a guy (past a physical one) So quit the physical stuff until you get into a proper relationship.
likestolaugh Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 She was a student in the university class that I worked as a Teaching Assistant. We didn't date then... about a year later we got together after commenting on many of each others facebook pictures. But we knew there was something right from when we first met.
craw Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 So quit the physical stuff until you get into a proper relationship. Kliik, im in the exact same boat as you. Right now, I'm seeing someone, I absolutely adore him yet I don't know if we're exclusive, if we're going to become exclusive. The quote up there, really has the best advice. Really have to try and not indulge in being physical with the person straight away, do the whole dating crap. I do find that dating is beyond confusing these days.
aerogurl87 Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 1st boyfriend: I had known his brother for about 3 years and didn't even know he had a younger brother till he showed up at my church one day out of the blue. For 3 months he kept asking me out and I kept saying no. Then my friend invited us both to a movie one day and didn't tell me he was coming. So that turned out to be our first date I guess. We never had the talk, but knew pretty much after that date (which included making out in the back of the movie theater) that we were a couple. That lasted about a year. Then we broke up. 2nd boyfriend: Met him online on a gaming site, didn't want to date him but did for 6 months. I hate him, but I love him to death in my own way still. He's my favourite mistake I guess. 3rd boyfriend: Met him out and about randomly one day. We stayed in contact for about 2 months but I was still with my ex and still madly in love with him. Then when my 2nd boyfriend and I broke up, he was a good friend to me. About a month after the break up we had the "talk". I just asked him straight out what we were. He told me he was falling in love with me and asked me to be his girlfriend afterward. That lasted about 4 months.
sunshinegirl Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Met my BF at a BBQ through mutual friends; he was interested right away but I wasn't - friend-zoned him immediately. However, spent some time with him in a platonic way over the summer and into early fall, and realized what a great person he is, easy to talk to, makes me laugh, is compatible in all kinds of ways. In fact, we'll be getting engaged in the next few months.
Els Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I pretty much only have two sources so far: online and college. :/
Ruby Slippers Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Well, I met my first high school boyfriend through a friend who had a crush on him! She totally had the hots for him, and was friends with him, but was too shy to flirt, so she asked me if I would help her out. I never would have flirted with him, either. He was way too sexy and intimidating. I befriended him on the premise that he had a secret admirer who was one of my friends. But once he finally got out of me who his admirer was, he said, "Oh. She's really nice, but I'm not interested in her in that way at all... But do you want to go to the movies with me sometime?" I told the friend what had happened, and since she had already moved on to her next crush by then, she gave me her full OK to date him. And I did. haha But my first real boyfriend, my first love... I met him my junior year of high school. He moved to my state, started going to my high school, and waltzed into my pre-calculus class the first day after winter break. He was a quiet, fiendishly intelligent musician who hardly spoke to anyone, and he made 100s on every test. Then he started working at the place where I worked, and we became friends. Senior year, he sat right behind me in calculus class, and we both got promoted at work, to the two most senior positions beyond the main manager (who was rarely in the office). We were both saving like crazy for college, both intended to pursue creative careers, and were working up to 40 hours a week while going to school, too, so we spent a lot of time together late into the night and eventually became very close friends. We fought the attraction for a long time because we knew we'd both be moving away for college after graduation, but finally, one night at his house after doing our calculus homework and playing video games, he kissed me. It was like freaking lightning, and we had a stormy passionate on-and-off relationship for the next 5 years. We still keep in touch by e-mail now and then, and I am still friends with his parents and visit them every time I'm in my hometown. The next guy I met at a free swing/salsa dancing class. We had an instant dance connection, and he got my number and called me to ask me to go out on a swing dancing date. That one lasted 3 1/2 years. My next two serious boyfriends were guys I met and became friends with while I/they were in other relationships. In both of those cases, once we were both single at the same time, we got together. Those relationships were both about 2 years long. I have the best relationship success when I am friends with the guy and really get to know him first.
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