missmanagement Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) Marriage number two. You'd think I'd be smarter the second time around. Miss Management can be interpreted two ways though so maybe that's telling. After a decade of marriage the first time and another decade of single life I thought I had enough experience to make a good choice. It seems the challenges of second marriages, exes, his and her kids, going to court and all the baggage really has taken its toll on both of us. Honestly, I never could have envisioned us at this place of anger and bitter distaste for one another. I still remember the day I knew I would marry him. He's been throwing the divorce trump card around for a few years now, mostly when he feels afraid and wants to create distance. It works pretty well. I'm a bit bitter and resentful, even critical. Sex was still in the picture till recently. During a heated argument he criticized the way I "jump" him when I'm horny. So I stopped. Since I am the only one who initiates anymore, we no longer have sex. I do pray for a cleansing purge and now and then I get lucky and feel old feelings of love and bliss, but then he opens his mouth and sounds so intensely hateful. He says he doesn't enjoy talking to me at all anymore. He's a conflict avoider and I like to deal with things so you can imagine how that works out. Today, he threw the trump card out there again, and for the first time I called him on it. I told him I agreed to it. I said I was tired of feeling worthless and I wanted to stop being under the constant threat. For a moment I felt relief. Then he said he wanted to give it one more try. ? Magic eight ball, is there any hope left for me and my marriage or should I just walk away? Edited March 11, 2010 by missmanagement
Gunny376 Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I would say barring outright mental, emotional, and physical abuse, cheating and other assorted 'no-Brainers' that the best shot at a relationship is the one you in. I mean the dating game can be a pain, and single life has its downside just as it has its upside. The best time to divorce is when both parties feel indifference. When both of you could care less if the other left, stayed, ~ 'whatever' In so long as your fussing and fighting? There's a chance believe it or not. Now that predisposes that your in a relationship that is willing to go the full nine yards, or for that matter can? One thing that I've personally have learned? If your going to play one of those "I want out' trump cards? You have better mean it the first time it comes across your lips. Because there won't be any taking them back. Its obvious to me that the DH has 'issues" that he needs to work out. Like growing the Hell up for starters. You didn't say if your still had children at home? Children together? If you have a job ~ can support yourself.
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