Marina09 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I've been single for a whole year now. I've gone out with guys but nothing serious (at least to me). At this point I'm feeling very unsure about myself and my capacities to attract men. I consider myself to be very good looking, but I think my personality makes them stay away from me. I am very shy and very hard to talk to at the beginning, I admit that, but once I trust somebody I can be the funniest person to be with. However I see men like outgoing girls, I've gone out clubbing with girls that are not attractive at all but their personality seem to atract men like a magnet. I don't know if I should try changing my way or just wait for the guy that understands me and appreciates me as I am. I don't want you to think I am a social freak, but usually I don't talk to anyone if they don't talk to me. I am 100% a Cancer woman if you know what I'm talking about. Please give me some advice and let me know if you think I should be more open to men when they approch me. I'm starting to feel useless and worthless... Link to post Share on other sites
RockGuy87 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Im the exact same way except im on the other end. Im a guy who is awesome to be around and has fun, but only when i know u. Other than that im really shy. You sound perfect so i dont see the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marina09 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Share Posted March 11, 2010 I guess men in clubs or parties look for something else in girls that I obviously don't have. I was just reading your thread and it sucks, I was feeling the way you're feeling exactly one year ago, now it seems like something very far away, however when I think about the horrible nights thinking about them together, his b-day with her, and so many important occasions I feel kind of sad again. They're not together anymore, but that doesn't make me feel any good because just thinking that he could get over me so quickly makes me feel once again worthless and stupid... Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I've been single for a whole year now. I've gone out with guys but nothing serious (at least to me). At this point I'm feeling very unsure about myself and my capacities to attract men. I consider myself to be very good looking, but I think my personality makes them stay away from me. I am very shy and very hard to talk to at the beginning, I admit that, but once I trust somebody I can be the funniest person to be with. However I see men like outgoing girls, I've gone out clubbing with girls that are not attractive at all but their personality seem to atract men like a magnet. I don't know if I should try changing my way or just wait for the guy that understands me and appreciates me as I am. I don't want you to think I am a social freak, but usually I don't talk to anyone if they don't talk to me. I am 100% a Cancer woman if you know what I'm talking about. Please give me some advice and let me know if you think I should be more open to men when they approch me. I'm starting to feel useless and worthless... I have also rejoined the dating scene recently. Be yourself 100% and that means being honest about what music you're into, politics, faith, beliefs and ideas. DON'T try to assimilate and/or mirror the guy you're interested in because in the end, the real you will come out in the wash. How would you like to be dating a guy that you were super excited about and then after a few weeks learn that he really wasn't who he said he was? You wouldn't. Yes, we put our best foot forward on a date but that shouldn't stop you from being honest. If he likes sushi and you don't...admit it! He'd respect you more for having a brain and the self esteem to use it! Please don't settle. If you are not interested in the guy..for the love of God, DON'T SEE HIM AGAIN! You will only prolong the inevitable...another bad breakup. And above all else...don't expect the guy to be a potential boyfriend...see him as a potential friend only. You don't want to put too much stock into someone until you get to know them...warts and all. Don't forget to have lots of fun! The right one will be waiting..... Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Please give me some advice and let me know if you think I should be more open to men when they approch me. . Screw anything that walks and has a heartbeat. Oh wait -- you're a girl. Just keep looking pretty and batting your hair to the side while smiling and focus on the free drinks. Eventually you'll meet the right guy and have a fabulous one night stand with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew1984 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 hmmm are we talking about dating or are we talking about the bar/club scene? IMO, theres a big difference. on a date, you get to know each other. you learn to be comfortable and figure out if its gona work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marina09 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Share Posted March 11, 2010 hmmm are we talking about dating or are we talking about the bar/club scene? IMO, theres a big difference. on a date, you get to know each other. you learn to be comfortable and figure out if its gona work. I'm talking about dating... I'm certainly not looking for a one nightstand. I want something serious.... Link to post Share on other sites
RockGuy87 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Yup same here. Sucks though cause seems like a lot of girls my age arent looking for something serious Link to post Share on other sites
Rearden Metal Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Screw anything that walks and has a heartbeat. Oh wait -- you're a girl. Just keep looking pretty and batting your hair to the side while smiling and focus on the free drinks. Eventually you'll meet the right guy and have a fabulous one night stand with him. LOL this is funny because it's what her friends are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
ditched Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 ugh. i feel the same way. Ive been single since the beginning of June and i'm still trying to get back out there. My confidence is a fragile thing and i scurry back to my hole the second i sense any sort of aversion (whether real or perceived) from a potential date. I even went so far as to join an online dating site. THAT went terribly. Only because i met a couple girls and as soon as it got to the point of actually talking on the phone and not via internets, i totally lost my confidence and disappeared. while i'm sure my ex has been dating and being the social butterfly she always wanted to be. lame. Link to post Share on other sites
Andrew1984 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I'm talking about dating... I'm certainly not looking for a one nightstand. I want something serious.... no sorry, thats not what I meant. I mean, when you go to a bar/club, just because guys dont come up to you dosent mean you lack the ability to attract men. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Yeah I definately agree with this. I am apparently a funny, fun loving guy, and it comes across in my personality. I am kind of cocky, so it helps. But, so far here are my dating failures: 1. A girl who turned out to be alot more in the weight dept. then she let off. Yeah, didn't last long, though we are friends now. 2. A psycho who told me about her meds on date one, then expected a second date. Yeah, ok. 3. A girl who had four kids. Uh, I don't have any, and I don't want someone elses. Shoulda told me upfront about that. 4. Another girl who turned out ALOT bigger then her pics. Riiiight. 5. A complete psycho who got me involved with her ex, and all this sh*t went down. she was actually preggers when we started talking, but didn't bother telling me. Ugh. 6. A girl I was into. Just recently told me it would come to nothing. I sort of saw this coming. She has alot of trust issues, and apparently our escapades leaked and someone found out about it. She claims I breeched her trust by talking about it. Right. What am I, 15, in high school, bragging about getting laid? K. Yeah. I am like that. So, I've decided... I am giving up on dating. Not that I need work on myself, I need to evaluate these nut jobs and hopefully not fall for similar games in the future. Just seems everyone is so down with one night stands and f*ck buddies anymore... maybe I am too old fashioned, but this guy is one guy who has had his fair share of ONS and FWB. So yeah, unavailable by choice, not commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Oh god I had something in the same range that was horrible. When my ex cheated on me the first time and wouldn't stop, I met someone else and began messing around with her. Since I still loved my ex I put off sex every time, and this girl wanted it bad. One night she basically jumped me and began giving me oral sex and we moved onto regular sex, which I was conflicted about. Well after we stopped talking and my ex and I worked things out, she was pregnant. People that knew I was with her were convinced it was mine (I wore a condom though) and my ex freaked thinking the same thing. She was crazy, and something tells me she wanted ME to knock her up as it happened immediately after. Maybe not, but it was weird. Looney. Dude this chick is crazy. She has it all; her own condo, a bangin job, and a brand new lexus. I am totally blue collar, although I work in insurance. We are on opposite ends of the planet. She lied to me and told me she had been single for a while, when really, she was only single for like two days before we met. She tried having sex with me on the second date. Took me four dates to sleep with her, then all hell broke loose. She was pretty much normal/cool up to that point. Then she claimed that it was mine (I wore a rubber, she was on BC and took the morning after pill... I watched...) So statistically, it's possible, but the possiblity was about equal to that of the earth collapsing in on itself and vomitting out corpses. Anyway, all of a sudden, when her ex got back in the picture, she left me alone. When he split the baby mysteriously perished. Such a load of ****. Now she wants to patch things up. LOL. Sorry, I don't date girls that should be committed. Link to post Share on other sites
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