ADF Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 There are some flaws in your thinking. For example, that if a man strays, it may be be the woman's fault. It never is. Cheaters are gonna cheat no matter how much sex they get from their wives and/or GF. Guys who cheat do so at least as much for ego gratification as for sexual gratification. They do it because bedding lots of different women makes them feel like "real men." That said, sexual rejection hurts. If youre getting rejected regularly, you need to let this woman know that it hurts. Just try to drop some of the boys-will-be-boys, macho grande, Domincan b___s___ first. If you come at her with this, "you're not takin' care of you man," attitude, you're just going to piss her off.
mem11363 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Marsle, If my current wife - then GF - had done what you did I would have dumped her quickly. You are making a conscious decision to withhold sex and punish him because of what you THINK he is thinking about. You are right - it was HER body but it was our relationship. And choosing to freeze your guy out before AND after his vacay because you are somehow feeling insecure is not going to make for loyalty in the long run. Are you going to do that when he brings you to the beach? Same set of other women in bikinis. What you are doing is manipulative and controlling behavior. You can do it - you just won't keep a real man around very long. But hey there are plenty of spineless guys and even worse guys who will just use that as an excuse to cheat - if that is what you want.... You sound like a huge douche...but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. The guy i'm seeing just went away to Cancun for a week. As soon as I heard this (days prior) I knew there was NO WAY he was getting action from me. Because, (just like any normal human WOULD) we know you're thinking about your vacation, hot girls in bikinis, alcohol, frat brothers...the whole time. Suddenly, sex with her just isn't as exciting. She feels vulnerable. I felt the same way. Even when he gets back, I'm keeping it on the DL. You're free to do whatever you want, and she is probably worried you're getting it on with other girls. Don't be surprised if she holds back when you return. And quit feeling like her vagina is free game. It's a body part. Do you not get that? She doesn't owe you anything, regardless of relationship or not. So take it from me (a pretty frisky girl) - a girl's body is not on the Monopoly bored, so quit acting like you have a share. If she ever read what you just wrote - you'd be dumped... (rightfully).
carhill Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 A non-trolling response would be that, for either gender, sexual gratification is a justifiable expectation of life and no one else needs to exist or is required to exist to provide that gratification. If there is a meeting of the minds and the genitals, sexual intimacy is shared; if not, not. Get the Astroglide and rub one out. It won't kill you.
tami-chan Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 hey Maurice!....I do think you overreacted. While I can understand your frustration about being "denied" sex (something you were so looking forward to...) your reaction was like that of a petulant little boy. I do, however, agree with the other posters that said if this happens more(her denying you sex), you should consider dumping her and looking for someone better suited to your needs and you to hers. For now I would let it go, if I were you. Have fun in DR, but I hope you realize that there is something fundamentally wrong with even considering the possibility of cheating because she "denied" you sex---it reflects more of a flaw in your character than hers, imho. The good thing is...it was just a "thought" Anyway, may I ask if you knew she was not feeling well before you got to her house? or was her "nausea" a sudden onset (just when you got frisky?).....do you think maybe she was peeved because you were late and instead of expressing that to you, she decided to withhold sex (as a form of punishment to you)? Yup, sounds very passive/aggressive. Take care.
marsle85 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Marsle, If my current wife - then GF - had done what you did I would have dumped her quickly. You are making a conscious decision to withhold sex and punish him because of what you THINK he is thinking about. You are right - it was HER body but it was our relationship. And choosing to freeze your guy out before AND after his vacay because you are somehow feeling insecure is not going to make for loyalty in the long run. Are you going to do that when he brings you to the beach? Same set of other women in bikinis. What you are doing is manipulative and controlling behavior. You can do it - you just won't keep a real man around very long. But hey there are plenty of spineless guys and even worse guys who will just use that as an excuse to cheat - if that is what you want.... Hey- I have nothing to do with his situation, I was only trying to understand where this girl (who obviously has been mistreated) is coming from. Unlike what cuzinblack insists- I haven't even slept with the guy i'm talking about. In fact, I've only been with one other person. I truly believe this is a difference in interpretation, the reason why -i'm- not going to pursue action with the guy i'm seeing is because it's still VERY early in the relationship, our situation is still very up-in-the-air... Call it insecurity, call it whatever- but it is not in the best interest of the female to have sex instantly. But according to Cuzinblack, nothing I do is right. Since he assumes from my post (and my picture) that all I have to offer is sex, I must be a slut. But when I don't have sex with the guy i'm seeing, i'm simultaneously being an inconsiderate bitch. Again, what i'll say to you is that my reasoning for not having sex with my guy (which isn't even the discussion) is because I'm emotionally/physically not at that level. I'm entitled to that, as is he... I never sleep over her house during the week because her son is there and he does not know about me yet so we kind of keep it a secret from him for now. mmm- now isn't saying "I'M SO COMMITTED" a little bit of an exaggeration? No hun, that is what insecure chiks like YOU do...automatically think your man is getting it on with other girls. My gf is nothing like that. Hmm- maybe it's the fact that you insisted her sending you to the DR horny was a big mistake. Maybe that's why I came to that conclusion. I am well aware of the folly in your thought processes and am more than qualified to shoot every single one of your posts to shredds.. Let me get this straight, you are more than qualified to shoot online comments to shreds? Is that what first attracted your gf? Further, had I really not had any concern for my gf, I would simply not have been here in the first place...and I would not have any remorse whatsoever. Your level of committment is supposed to be applauded because it can be notably compared to literally not caring AT ALL? my level of commitment to my gf is extremely high! If it weren't, I would not even be here talking about this trying to sort out my emotions. Incorrect. What you came here to do is to bitch about how you haven't gotten laid. No part in your initial post inquires about anything further than "Dude- doesn't that totally suck?!" Nasty little runt aren't ya! What? I said RUNT I don't really understand how using insults from Lady and the Tramp is supposed to offend me. And please save me the time and don't twist my analogy into some sort of backhanded insult. You're too predictable as it is. Again, not that cut and dry. But of course, leave it to Dr. Ruth-LESS to come up with the perfect description of my intent! Wonderful! No, i'm serious. Where do you GET this stuff? It's so lame? I feel like i'm arguing with a ten year old. Your comments and debate are based on little to no evidence and an inflated ego. i'm really curious to know how it is that you could POSSIBLY know that my gf is feeling used?? Am I to assume that because a man, a MONOGAMOUS man, wants to have sex with his woman, that this means he is automatically using her??? To be quite honest- that was my true opinion. You come onto a forum and argue any/every opinion you receive. Why don't you talk to her yourself? Seriously. All kidding/bitching aside. Maybe that would help. Do you get Doc? I'm not sure ya do. You seem like that type of chick that would purposely blue-ball a guy and get some sort of sick kick out of it. ... Well when he leaves me in the clutch horny the day before, I SURE DO. I'll get him back! k. See, a real dick would have left and not actually CARE that he did, and not even think about what he was doing or QUESTION his behavior like I'M doing. I'm just a guy who is trying to be honest and yes, may have used the wrong language in his posting to describe his feelings but nonetheless, DOES care and IS trying to do the right thing. What you're doing is not experiencing guilt, or thinking about what you did. You're debating and arguing every single comment that anyone makes. I get it if you sincerely feel you were wrongfully judged here or there, but you haven't taken responsibility for ANYTHING. And are you really talking to me about intelligence quotient? Dude, you're a blonde. Nuff said Stereotyping an entire group of females isn't necessarily the most proactive action when trying to prove to the LS that you're actually NOT a conceited pig. Whoops. Really? lol whatever Dr. Ruthless Don't you mean "Really???????"
sally4sara Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Has anyone considered that it isn't some hang up, it isn't sexual repression, nor some head game over the OP's up coming gratuitous trip.... But rather it was just the week of her monthly and she just wasn't up for it? (It clearly being his penis - just ask the gentleman ) Sometimes the shortest trip is simply from A to B. And OP, what is with the mindset that your lack of discretion is HER doing at any point in any geographical location? What lady would want to be your ready made excuse for doing some other woman? Do her and her kid a favor and approach this subject exactly as you did in your first post.
meerkat stew Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I don't really understand how using insults from Lady and the Tramp is supposed to offend me. You started an unnecessary flame war here by going way overboard in your first reply to a new poster seeking legitimate advice. You should just drop it IMO, or better, apologize to OP.
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