cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Hello all. My name is Maurice and I am in a new relationship with a woman I recently fell in love with. We are basically in the moonlighting stage-hoping it will last forever but experience tells me not to hold my breath! Anyway, the thing is we have started having sex on a pretty regular basis, and the sex is great. She has an awesome body and is hot enough that I dont get the standard male-temptations to stray. Is it because of the newness of the relationship? Is it because I'm in love? Or am I really going to be faithful with this one? I'm not really sure. But honestly, I really dont even think about having sex with any other woman since I been with her-which is rare. Ok so here's the issue: like I said, we had been having sex on the regular for the past couple months...but its only like once or twice a week if we were lucky because she has a kid-so we cant spend as much time. Last couple weeks have been different. Last week, she came over-we went on a nice dinner date with my sister and came home only to see her go to sleep in my bed for a few hours and go home afterward. I tried to get frisky but got rejected. I tried my best not to get upset about it and just hung out in my living room while she slept. She apologized for it the next day. I figured it was no biggie, as I was scheduled to hang with her again a few days laster (yesterday). So yesterday comes, I get to her house much later than planned, but I get there nonetheless. We climb into bed and do the snuggle thing for a while, then Im ready to get busy but now she's feeling nauseous from something she ate earlier. You can imagine how upset or rather, disappointed I am at this point. Im sitting there hard as a rock and now this?!?!? WTF man?? I wound up just up and leaving (and I live a good 45 min from her so the fact tht I went all the way over there for nothing sucked too). Oh and here's the kicker: I am going away on trip (I had planned and paid for before me & her hooked up) to Dominican Republic for 7 days this upcoming Monday staying at a luxury resort with like 20 of my fraternity brothers--so ummm, yeah, you can only imagine! I'm thinking hey, this really isnt the best time to NOT give your man sex!!! The WORST thing she could do would be to send me to DR horny!!!! OMG!!!! lol I'm strong but ummm, yeah I aint no Professor Xavier! However, I digress. I mean, yes I strongly believe that giving your man sex is an absolute part of taking care of your man. I really dont feel like thats an arguable opinion--although it may be. But I truly believe that if a woman gives a man a reason to stray, he most definitely will. But, I cant help but think that in this particular case, maybe I'm being a little selfish. And I dont want to be that type of guy. Its not in my nature to be selfish and if it is, I want to correct it. I strive to be the best person I can be and Im not afraid to point out my mistakes and learn from them. So my question is, am I overreacting on this one? Or should I have gotten at least some sort of verbal consideration for the fact that I got dissed twice in a row? I mean, I understand if she was sick, but at least make it SEEM like you give a crap that your man is lying there horny as hell and is not gonna get any for the 2nd time in a row! Right? Or no?
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Have you ever read Three Billy Goats Gruff? I think it's applicable. Good luck!
kimbop Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 You need to connect your brain with your gonads (can we say testicles in this forum? - oops I just did ). Do you want a relationship with her? Do you respect her? Do you think this can be long term? Well if you go to the DR (horny or not), you will be tested if a bouncy flirty thing in a bikini comes your way one way or another. Is your gf worth it that you want to remain faithful? It's not about your sexual gratification, it's about having an honest relationship that can be built to create something special. If you don't think so, go and party hardy but do the right thing and break up with her. Let her find greener pastures too.
marsle85 Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 You sound like a huge douche...but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. The guy i'm seeing just went away to Cancun for a week. As soon as I heard this (days prior) I knew there was NO WAY he was getting action from me. Because, (just like any normal human WOULD) we know you're thinking about your vacation, hot girls in bikinis, alcohol, frat brothers...the whole time. Suddenly, sex with her just isn't as exciting. She feels vulnerable. I felt the same way. Even when he gets back, I'm keeping it on the DL. You're free to do whatever you want, and she is probably worried you're getting it on with other girls. Don't be surprised if she holds back when you return. And quit feeling like her vagina is free game. It's a body part. Do you not get that? She doesn't owe you anything, regardless of relationship or not. So take it from me (a pretty frisky girl) - a girl's body is not on the Monopoly bored, so quit acting like you have a share. If she ever read what you just wrote - you'd be dumped... (rightfully).
CarrieT Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 But, I cant help but think that in this particular case, maybe I'm being a little selfish. You ARE being incredibly selfish. And I don't want to be that type of guy. Too late. You put your fears into words on this site and projected selfishness and then some. I strive to be the best person I can be and Im not afraid to point out my mistakes and learn from them. You best bet would be to spend time on this site and read the MULTITUDES of posts from guys whose wives are no longer having sex with them. Because those relationships all start as yours started and a year or two or five later, these guys come here trying to figure out where the passion went and why there is no more sex...
meerkat stew Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Don't listen to the male bashing here, it's unreasonable. Every person in a relationship has the right to have their reasonable desires met in the relationship, sex included. If it turns into a pattern with her, and IMO, based on what you post it probably will, you should dump her without a second thought and move on to more compatible options. Nothing you posted implies that you consider her or her vagina as your property, and nothing you posted is particularly selfish or unreasonable. I found your post quite humorous and good-natured.
Ronni_W Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Personally, I think she's just not that into you. If she was, she DEF would have been able to ignore the fact that she felt like throwing up and tend to your wounded ego instead. I strongly believe that giving your man sex is an absolute part of taking care of your man. I strongly agree with that...if you're a hooker. Then DEF your job is to service your man customer according to his wants and whims.
Lovelybird Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 The reason she hold back sex is simple and reasonable. You are NOT her man yet. How do I know? by your words and comitment degree to her Yes, you are selfish, need to man up and think of protecting and caring for her more; if not, then you shouldn't really think of the sex part with such high expectation
Woggle Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 There are plnety of women willing to provide sex so why not drop this one?
marsle85 Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) You know what, thinking of it- I want to give you a detailed description of WHY having sex with you is not close to being a priority to her: She has an awesome body and is hot enough that I dont get the standard male-temptations to stray. Ew. Or am I really going to be faithful with this one? I'm not really sure. But honestly, I really dont even think about having sex with any other woman since I been with her-which is rare. From a man who says "I'm in love with her" I tried my best not to get upset about it and just hung out in my living room while she slept. Let me get this straight. You huffed off and paced the living room because she didn't give you what you wanted, when you wanted it? She apologized for it the next day. Her second mistake, first being dating you. I figured it was no biggie, as I was scheduled to hang with her again a few days laster (yesterday). I see. You let her off the hook because you already booked an hour with her (devoted to your carnal needs) in a few days. So yesterday comes, I get to her house much later than planned, but I get there nonetheless. We climb into bed and do the snuggle thing for a while, then Im ready to get busy but now she's feeling nauseous from something she ate earlier. She's sick of feeling used. You arrive late- aka, the only reason you showed was to rush this so-called "snuggle thing" and are pissed because she doesn't jump to your command. You can imagine how upset or rather, disappointed I am at this point. Im sitting there hard as a rock and now this?!?!? WTF man?? The root of all hurt is blue balls. I get it. I wound up just up and leaving (and I live a good 45 min from her so the fact tht I went all the way over there for nothing sucked too). You are seriously such a dick. so ummm, yeah, you can only imagine! I'm thinking hey, this really isnt the best time to NOT give your man sex!!! The WORST thing she could do would be to send me to DR horny!!!! OMG!!!! lol I'm strong but ummm, yeah I aint no Professor Xavier! I really have no words for how disgustingly retarded you are. I'm serious, you have no class, respect or IQ. However, I digress. Save the big words when you can compose a sentence without four exclamation marks. By the way, welcome to LS. Edited March 11, 2010 by marsle85
carhill Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 So, is this a woman trolling as a man? Subtlety, work on the subtlety.....that's a justifiable expectation for a man
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 So, is this a woman trolling as a man? Subtlety, work on the subtlety.....that's a justifiable expectation for a man I can't decide if it's a woman trolling as a man or a man trolling to get a reaction from women.
bayouboi Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I can't decide if it's a woman trolling as a man or a man trolling to get a reaction from women. I'm gonna go with woman trolling as a man. What red-blooded male would name himself "Maurice" in his trolling attempt? That name is too froo-froo. If it were a dude he'd a named himself a strong name like John, Tom, or PaulBunyan.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 nothing sucked That about summarizes it. ... and of course you're out of line here. She owes you nothing.
Author cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 You need to connect your brain with your gonads (can we say testicles in this forum? - oops I just did ). Do you want a relationship with her? Yes of course. Do you respect her? Yes of course(despite the popular belief on this site). Do you think this can be long term? Yes. Well if you go to the DR (horny or not), you will be tested if a bouncy flirty thing in a bikini comes your way one way or another. True. I'm just thinking it would be less of a temptation having just had it with my girlfriend is all. Just trying to be completely honest. Is your gf worth it that you want to remain faithful? It's not about your sexual gratification, it's about having an honest relationship that can be built to create something special. If you don't think so, go and party hardy but do the right thing and break up with her. Let her find greener pastures too. Its not really that cut and dry (or serious) in this particular situation. But thanks for your comments.
Author cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Yea I read it...not sure I understand the correlation but ok! Thanks
Author cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 ummm...dunno why but the first thing that popped in my mind is she's pregnant. Ummmm, NO! lol
calizaggy Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 She sounds passive aggressive.. Instead of straight up telling you the trip will bother her, she is denying you sex.
Author cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 (edited) You sound like a huge douche...but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Hmmmm. You start off by insulting me, a person you never even met, but you're going to give me a benefit huh? Ok. The guy i'm seeing just went away to Cancun for a week. As soon as I heard this (days prior) I knew there was NO WAY he was getting action from me. Because, (just like any normal human WOULD) we know you're thinking about your vacation, hot girls in bikinis, alcohol, frat brothers...the whole time. Suddenly, sex with her just isn't as exciting. How do you come to that conclusion in MY case though? If I'm sitting there TRYING to have sex with her, how the hell does that equate to sex with her not being as exciting?? Maybe sex with YOU didnt seem as exciting to YOUR man. Is not the case with me. Sex with my girlfriend is ALWAYS exciting to me. She feels vulnerable. Possibly, but doubtful. I felt the same way. Even when he gets back, I'm keeping it on the DL. You're free to do whatever you want, and she is probably worried you're getting it on with other girls. No hun, that is what insecure chiks like YOU do...automatically think your man is getting it on with other girls. My gf is nothing like that. Don't be surprised if she holds back when you return. Thats the thing, I dont believe she's "holding back"...just think there is a lack of consideration. "Holding back" is something that is deliberate and vindictive, something once again that sounds like what you would do. And quit feeling like her vagina is free game. It's a body part. Do you not get that? She doesn't owe you anything, regardless of relationship or not. So take it from me (a pretty frisky girl) - a girl's body is not on the Monopoly bored, so quit acting like you have a share. Hmmm, another typical comment from a woman obviously past scorned. Except, NO WHERE in my passage did I mention that she was a monopoly board (Yes that's BOARD not BORED-and yet you have the nerve to try and comment on MY grammar--haha such a blonde!) nor did I elude to anything that would make a reasonable person think that I was saying her vagina was a free game! If she ever read what you just wrote - you'd be dumped... (rightfully). Whatever. I think YOU are the one with the real issues hun. I'm just a guy trying to get some opinions and maybe a little support or positive recommendations. Edited March 11, 2010 by cuzinblack
meerkat stew Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 I think some posters in the thread need to go to WalMart and get themselves a "tongue-in-cheek-o-meter." OP, troll or no, and I vote no, doesn't deserve the drubbing he's getting. He has been candid and chose to post here to ask for advice, and all he's getting is condemnation and scorn. The tone of the replies here are as if he has been cheating on this woman or beating her.
Author cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 You ARE being incredibly selfish. Am I? Well I could have sworn that I myself admitted that possibility. But instead of offering positive reinforcement (which is what I erroneously thought this site was supposed to be about) I'm getting bombarded with derogatory slurs from bitchy women who act like I did something to THEM! Wtf?!?? Too late. You put your fears into words on this site and projected selfishness and then some. Ahhh I see. So, "let's persecute the basturd for being honest-he illustrated his fears now lets take those fears and perpetuate that negativity with MORE negativity! That ought to show him!" Is that how it goes on this site? I will make a note of it. Thanks. Then you women wonder why men don't like being totally honest with you...this is EXACTLY why! YOU WOMEN SIMPLY CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!! Here I am, a simple guy just trying his best to do the right thing, or at least what he feels to be the right thing which he realizes may not be the right thing; its a man who admits he does not know all the answers! He comes on this site to hopefully get some answers...but he wants to be honest with himself and everyone else so that he can get the best answers possible. And what does he get for that? PERSECUTION! He knows he's not an angel, he NEVER claimed to be! But he's TRYING, he's honestly TRYING to be a good man!!!! Wtf is wrong with YOU people..cant YOUUUU see that?? If he were really a douche and so incredibly selfish, he wouldnt even care enough to take the time to come on here in the 1st place! He would just go on about his business of going to DR and screwing 10-20 bikini-clad chiks and be cool with it! But the fact that he is even here AT ALL trying to get a grip on his emotions SHOULD tell you people something! You people are as relentless as the crowd at the coliseum in the gladiator days! You best bet would be to spend time on this site and read the MULTITUDES of posts from guys whose wives are no longer having sex with them. Because those relationships all start as yours started and a year or two or five later, these guys come here trying to figure out where the passion went and why there is no more sex... Not sure how that would relate to my situation, but I will take your suggestion under advisement.
Author cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Don't listen to the male bashing here, it's unreasonable. Every person in a relationship has the right to have their reasonable desires met in the relationship, sex included. If it turns into a pattern with her, and IMO, based on what you post it probably will, you should dump her without a second thought and move on to more compatible options. Nothing you posted implies that you consider her or her vagina as your property, and nothing you posted is particularly selfish or unreasonable. I found your post quite humorous and good-natured. OMG ONE person who gets it! Is that it? Thank you Stew...is there another language that you and I share that these other folks don't? Because I could swear I wrote my post in ENGLISH! Yet, these people on here are really acting like I said stuff that warrants a friggin beheading or something! What did I miss here??
carhill Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Some people call me the space cowboy yeah Some call me the gangster of love Some people call me Maurice Cause' I speak of the pompetous of love
CarrieT Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Here is the reason you are getting bashed: We climb into bed and do the snuggle thing for a while, then Im ready to get busy but now she's feeling nauseous from something she ate earlier. You can imagine how upset or rather, disappointed I am at this point. Im sitting there hard as a rock and now this?!?!? WTF man?? I wound up just up and leaving (and I live a good 45 min from her so the fact tht I went all the way over there for nothing sucked too). The woman you supposedly love is sick and all you are thinking about is getting your rocks off. Instead of comforting her, taking care of her, and staying with her, you petulantly leave and complain about not getting what you want -- AND complaining about the L..O..N..G.. drive home like a little boy being sent to his room without dinner, pouting that you "went all the way over there for nothing." THAT is selfish and shows you care little for the woman, but only your own satisfaction. Not sure how that would relate to my situation, but I will take your suggestion under advisement. I recommend you read the following threads because many of us, who have been hear a long time and heard a LOT of these similar stories, see them beginning as your problems are. You can't see how it relates to your situation because you are in the beginning throws of being denied sex. The following threads are guys AND GIRLS who are a lot further along with the problem and trying to deal with it but MANY of them began the same way: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222743/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t223026/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222952/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t221518/
Author cuzinblack Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Personally, I think she's just not that into you. If she was, she DEF would have been able to ignore the fact that she felt like throwing up and tend to your wounded ego instead. Ahaa yes! More wonderful sarcasm...yummy! Ok here we go again...lets get into it. (As you may have noticed, I am not in the least deterred by you women on here or your egregious male-bashing. I am well aware of the folly in your thought processes and am more than qualified to shoot every single one of your posts to shredds..as I possess a much higher level of intellect than you all and have a much greater hold on the English language as well-rendering me supreme when it comes to expressing my feelings via words.) So lets begin, shall we? 1st, can you please explain to me what the hell a "wounded ego" has to do with "Blue balls"??? How does my wanting to have sex with my woman equate to my ego? I strongly agree with that...if you're a hooker. Then DEF your job is to service your man customer according to his wants and whims. Ok, so then if YOUR man takes YOU out shopping, then to dinner and dancing; do you not expect him to pay for it all?? Of course you do. But why? Why should you EXPECT a man to pay for everything ALL the time? Is it because he's your MAN and thats what the MAN is supposed to do?? Oh wait! No! Not according to you though...by YOUR OWN words, the fact that he's expected to pay (or basically spend money for your company) is perfectly ok..but Does that not make YOU a hooker as well?? Of course it does. Unless, of course, you're cool with the double standard-in which case, it would still be wrong so you would still lose.
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