Ex-bfis having financial, health, and family problems and I can't break away!

[RedCherries]

My ex-boyfriend, 27, who I broke up with a month ago is having several difficulties in his life right now, including major financial ones, health (he needs 2 surgeries), and he is not getting along with his family who he used to be VERY close with. He is also depressed (I was the dumper) and lonely (he became very dependent on me and lost all his friends.) I still obviously care for him very much and unfortunately we talk everyday so I'm fully aware of everything that is going on.

 

It really breaks my heart to hear about all these things going on. A part of me knows he is still being dependent and telling me these things so I'll feel bad for him but also he has no one to talk to. He is pretty broke, jobless, has been looking for a job for the last 4 months, has major debt, and now with his two upcoming surgeries he is sure to go completely bankrupt. Plus I broke up with him while all this was going on (that was NOT the reason I broke up with him, it was completely different and I made a post about it but that's neither here nor there.)

 

So I guess my question is, I've been helping him out financially because I can't bear to see him this way. I don't make much money and I am also currently between jobs so I have nothing coming in (my parents are supporting me currently, I'm 26 yrs old.) I have a few thousand in savings and am considering giving that to him. IS that a terrible idea? I know he's a man and he should take care of himself but he is in a horrible, pitiful state. I feel SO bad for him. I know that while he was going through this, the only thing that really helped him get through the day was me and so when I left his world just fell apart. I know that isn't my responsibility but I feel so guilty and I feel like a bad person. So I guess my giving him money and a shoulder to lean on is kind of because I feel bad...

 

What do I do? I'm just STUCK.

[GrayClouds]

IS that a terrible idea

.

 

Yes, it will only hurt you and will not help him in the long run. If you were strong finical shape right now, it would be wonderful and generous, but in your current saturation it is destructive, and unfair to your parents who is supporting you.

 

If your not wanting a relationship with him, then you need to walk away. Give him support information; help lines, ect. but then allow him to find his own path and strength. Unless you are willing to be in it for the long hull, your making him dependent on someone who at some point will not be there.

 

Good luck, it is a very hard situation.