spriggig Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 The next stage is called moving on with your new life. Some people think they have reached this stage, but have they? BTW, I am including myself in the they. I suppose you could pick some arbitrary point in time and say "This is when I moved on with my new life". Like today? This message brought to you by Hallmark.
tnttim Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I suppose you could pick some arbitrary point in time and say "This is when I moved on with my new life". Like today? This message brought to you by Hallmark. Each marathon starts off with a single step. Oh yea, and a guy firing a pistola.
floridapad Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Does it really Tim? I am no longer with my H and the pain is still here and some days, it's just as strong as when I first found out about his cheating. I can only imagine, yes imagine, that the pain would be much worse if I were still with him. Having to see his lying, smug face, day after day, knowing he was, had or still is having sexual relations with another. Once trust is broken and the cheating spouse doesn't seek forgiveness and have true remorse, and I am not talking guilt, how does one get past it? It's just delaying the inevitable, it will only happen again and you would have to go through it all again. Oneday, it hurts. It hurts like nothing else. Without her trying to "fix" anything, you are just beating your head against a wall, over and over. Remember, for the MC, she wanted to discuss the financials? Please. Sorry Hopes. Gotta agree with Tim on this one. Obviously each person is different but I can tell you exactly how my pain has subsided. 1) I forgave her. It was not easy. I spent alot of time reflecting, learning about forgiveness, praying etc etc. and I made the choice to forgive her. You know the old saying forgiveness is not for the other person it is for you. Once I made the decision to forgive her I realized how true this saying was. It helped me tremendously. 2) I vowed that I would NEVER let this person hurt me anymore. Their innapropriate actions are a reflection of their weaknesses not mine and I was not going to allow their weaknesses and actions affect me any longer. I still love my wife, but I don't feel the pain so much of the affair anymore. I'm not saying I don't feel pain sometimes but the anger has subsided and that was a big cause of my pain. My own anger. Anger and resentment will eat you alive.
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