aroll32 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 A girl I dated for about 5 or 6 weeks over Christmas break randomly stopped talking to me. She said she wanted to still talk over the semester, but the last time I called her (around a month ago), she never called back. That was the last time either of us has made contact. She disappeared for about a month and a half. Today was her birthday, so I texted her wishing her happy birthday. She said thanks and asked how I've been. Well, the real thing that I'm getting to is that I am going to her university this Friday to tour the campus. I told her I was doing this and would be on campus. She told me to call her when I get there so she can meet up with me. I don't really know what to do. I still like her and all that, but she hurt me a bit so I'm extremely hesitant to try and go back to the way things were (considering she is extremely flaky). I don't think I'm going to call (at most a text) because I don't need to be acting the way I did while we were seeing each other. She blew that one. I might be interested in dating her again, but for the time being it's best we are just friends. It just puzzles me why she was so distant, then all of a sudden wants to hang out with me after I tell her happy birthday? I don't really get it. Especially because she acted completely normal in the beginning (responding to everything I sent her, sending me random texts, and scheduling and rescheduling dates). Then out of the blue she changed completely, she started to act extremely flaky it was a bit sketchy. When I texted her today, she responded fairly prompt, using gestures that she did when we first talking. Any thoughts? Recommendations on what I should do?
carhill Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 You're in college. This is normal. Everyone is 'flaky' because you're all growing up. Do what you want to do. Do you want to date her? Ask her out on a date. Forget about the past. It's gone. If you don't want to date her, don't. Date someone else. You're fence-sitting and the only ass with splinters in it is yours. Get it?
colosseum Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 You're in college. This is normal. Everyone is 'flaky' because you're all growing up. Do what you want to do. Do you want to date her? Ask her out on a date. Forget about the past. It's gone. If you don't want to date her, don't. Date someone else. You're fence-sitting and the only ass with splinters in it is yours. Get it? uh, yeah. that.
Author aroll32 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 haha well put. I'm just going to be friends with her for now. See what happens. Sound about right? I don't want to be confined to a situation like this. I'm not right now, it's just randomly on my mind. Mostly because I'm not sure what I want. I don't want to be in a relationship with her, but I still would like to be FWB. I dunno actually. When I figure it out I'm sure it will be what's best
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 It seems people of all ages are/can be flaky. I think about my own behaviors that could be catogorized as flaky though that wasn't my intent. I think for me and probably others it stems from uncertainty about a person/situation/feelings - not that there's an adequate defense. Also, once people go a period without contact, it becomes more and more difficult to reach out. She may have wanted to contact you but knew she flaked and felt like too much time had passed and you wouldn't want to hear from her. Having said that, there is also a good chance she will demonstrate the same flaky behavior. You could put the ball in her court by texting her with a couple of specific times you can see her while you're on campus and tell her to contact you if she is interested. If she is, she'll put forth the effort.
boogieboy Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Sorry to break it to you, but you think you friendzoned her, but she friendzoned you first. Plus you still like her so you cant friendzone her. She is going to flake on you again. Im pretty sure when you get there and make a date she will flake. So forget about her.
Disintegration Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I knew someone that had a similar situation to yours. I think it was rude on her part to not atleast tell you she wasn't interested in you like that, and leaving you to wonder. Then again guys do it all the time. You think things are going great then they say they'll call but never do. Females do it as well. I wouls say cut your losses. She will end up doing it to you again. Enjoy your life and forget about her.
Author aroll32 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 Yeah, I agree with all of this. I think it would be best to just leave it alone. I figured out I don't want to date her. Or anyone for that matter. The most I want right now with anyone is something casual, which is what I think she wanted from the beginning but didn't tell me. Which is why it came as a surprise when she backed off. Oh well, I'm keeping my mind away from situations like this, just playing it cool. This is what I normally would be like, but she messed with my head. My friend is in a horrible situation with a girl (who just broke up with her boyfriend, who is the brother of the girl I am posting about) and he's trying to keep it cool, but still wants a relationship with her. So I'm trying to stay out of sticky situations like this. Now, I think I'm back to how I was before she came along. Which is good, because before her I didn't want anything serious. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind hanging out with her, but just nothing serious. I would like to be able to flirt and all that without strings attached. I'm pretty sure this is the best way to go about it. I guess I'll just take it easy and see what happens. I'm going to be seeing her way too much in the future to not be friends. The weird part though is that I think she might still like me. I guess that's a good thing if I want to be casual with her right?
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