RockGuy87 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Me and my ex have been broken up for 2 months. We were together for 3 years and have been NC. I found out today that she is now in a relationship and it hurts like hell. Im back to how i was before, have that empty feeling. I knew this day would come eventually and in a weird way its a blessing because i now know i dont want her back and that i no longer wanna love her anymore. Her doing this so soon after our 3 year relationship has just stunned me, sure i figured she was seeing someone but not in a full blown relationship. Just sucks and kinda feel worthless and empty. Could really use some words of encouragement and some uplifting words. Was doing so well and then bam i find this out, now ive been knocked back down.
SimplyIzzy2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Hey RockGuy, my stats are pretty much yours. I was with a boy for 2 years, he strung me along telling me he loved me but that he just didn't want a relationship for like a year, then out of nowhere "oh, I'm with her now". It was a slap in the face, but at the same time, it was such an awakening. Those words finally gave me the strength to say "you know what? See you never". NC began and lasted from June all the way to the end of August, when he began calling and texting. It turns out that he regretted everything, and that the new girl was "nowhere are good as me." It was certainly an egoboost, but nothing more. I was an idiot and took him back, bliss lasted for 5 months, then he cheated. So he never changed. They never change. I know the feeling that she's with someone is awful, but just think of your good qualities and laugh because I don't think she's going to find them in this new guy. People in long relationships like that who can just move on are obviously looking to fill something missing in themselves... I think my ex was so cruel because he never had a father. But just think, now you're free to start life over. No matter how old you are, where you are at, its never too late to look for someone who WILL love you. I know there's someone because I'm a girl who loves unconditionally like that. Read this post on here called "to the dumpees" its amazing. After so long, I miss my ex sometimes, but my ambition and determination to have a great life keep me happy. I'm talking toyou from the other side, where everything is better. It takes time, it takes singing lots of insulting songs out loud, it takes tons of going out with friends and flirting, but it DOES happen. Chin up, bud. Everything everything happens for a reason, and it happens because that's how it was supposed to be. There's obviously a much bigger love waiting for you out there. Keep being strong remember: don't ever let them see you down.
Author RockGuy87 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 Thanks izzy. Im just going insane. I cant stop picturing them having sex. Its messed up but i cant stop. PLEASE HELP!
Rearden Metal Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Find Fouts on here and talk to him. He'll explain that the issue is 99% ego, that it's your ego wanting to hold on to her as YOURS that is causing your pain. When you can look at it objectively and realize that she doesn't have what it takes to be in a happy relationship with you, you will get over her. I have those thoughts like yours, too. Gotta let it go, man.
Author RockGuy87 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 I understand where u are coming from about the whole ego thing. That very well could be it. Im afraid that I wont find someone soon and just sucks that I was the one dumped and yet she has moved the **** on so quickly. Shes a hoe and i know that now but for some reason it hurts that shes become what she has. Its like im upset because she beat me to it, its lame but thats how it is. I just cant seem to focus on anything, i have tons of school work to do and yet her new relationship is all I can think about. Almost afraid that what they have now is better than what we ever had....and ur right, that hits the ego pretty hard.
Rearden Metal Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Yeah man, it's ego. You knew she was a ho when she was with you. Shouldn't surprise you now. I'm actually shocked my ex hasn't shacked up with someone. Best guess is she's either growing up (wat) or sleeping with everyone. LOL. All I know is I'm better than all y'all in bed, so she's thinking about me while she's getting banged. How's THAT for ego?
nowomanocry Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I understand where u are coming from about the whole ego thing. That very well could be it. Im afraid that I wont find someone soon and just sucks that I was the one dumped and yet she has moved the **** on so quickly. Shes a hoe and i know that now but for some reason it hurts that shes become what she has. Its like im upset because she beat me to it, its lame but thats how it is. I just cant seem to focus on anything, i have tons of school work to do and yet her new relationship is all I can think about. Almost afraid that what they have now is better than what we ever had....and ur right, that hits the ego pretty hard. Hiya Rockguy Let me share my experience with you. Mind everyone, this is my experience and my own opinion. No offences to anyone, no generalisation. Those who reject this will find out sooner or later they will come to the same point as me, but first you have to live to see things more clearly Sorry to hear that she's torturing your soul BUT * 1st of all, forget about LOVE - BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, there is no such bo...x on earth as love, it is the biggest lie! * You can never own a person, it is against the nature anyway. All souls have their own beauty, and even in a relationship or marriage it can happen to everyone falling in love with another man / woman. Here the thing is at the end of the day whom he/she choses to be with (for that time). * Marriage is another b...x just like love and falling in love. It is history man! It is something medieval. Old and rotten. It is something that only weak people believe in. Falling in love and marrying is only for the weak, and weak gets dumped to trash. In this material world no one gives a shiat about feelings and emotions. It is all about cash! Self-confidence... Testosterone..Adrenalin man! Speed! Voodoo magic! Lust! F..king....If you are cheeky and "grown up" enough to start f...n ur ex while she together with the other dude, ur GOD mate! The rest is all crap, ignore that shiat and wake up, see the truth. POWER mate, that all that counts. Sooky dumped exs bite the dust! This never changes... and believe me there is no sex on earth as f..n ur ex and she loving the other fella (thinking she's loving of course). I have a very similar situation you can read my thread Cheer up dude, theres always a way. Gain your self-confidence first, and then you will see how your look to everything around you will change.
Author RockGuy87 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Some how i made it through today. Dont really kno how, sure felt like i wasnt going to. I still cant stop thinking about them being together. But i HAVE to get pass this because im tired of hating life everyday. Like today, I have two big test tomorrow and i cant study because i can only stare at my book and think of them....really sucks that now my school is being drastically affected.
LovelyDaze Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Some how i made it through today. Dont really kno how, sure felt like i wasnt going to. I still cant stop thinking about them being together. But i HAVE to get pass this because im tired of hating life everyday. Like today, I have two big test tomorrow and i cant study because i can only stare at my book and think of them....really sucks that now my school is being drastically affected. The best revenge is not giving her anymore power. You have GOT to try to take back some of the power in your life by succeeding in every other area. She obviously jumped into this new relationship of hers lightning quick because she feels something is missing. That relationship is doomed to fail. But, DON'T try to stop her. People love to rebel against people who don't believe in them. Think of it as "us against the world" Don't contact her in any shape or form. Like the other LS member, when you go NC and live your own life, exes have this odd sixth sense that you are through with them and THEN they want to come back! I've had this happen many times and it actually gets on my nerves because I worked so hard to get over them and then one day...BAM! I get a phone call that they miss me. Ugh! Stay NC and let their relationship go how it needs to go. In time, you WILL get over her and will meet another special woman you will love even more.
Author RockGuy87 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 Why am i so afraid that it wont fail though...they have been friends a long time and from how she posted on facebook, she is happier than ever. Im so ready to find someone else. I dont love her anymore i had what i had with her and the feelings.
sugarmomma Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Stay off her fb since that just adds to your anxiety. Its all ego. If she didn't have anyone you prolly wouldn't care. Time heals all wounds. Deal with all your feelings.
WiseOne1 Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 It's your EGO, you ego is causing you to be hurt..your probably having thoughts on "what was wrong with me?"..."why couldn't I make her the happiest she's ever been?"... You self-confidence is down, but not only EGO its a tad bit of love mixed in...no, you still love her!! How do I know?? I've been in this exact sistuation 2 times...first things first... 1. If your over someone 100% and no longer love them...theres nothing that can hurt you the tad bit...you won't be phased when you see them with a new mate. 2. Shes going through a re-bound stage or honey-moon period. I have alot of female friends and when this happens, they claim that "this is the happiest that they ever been!!". In reality it's just a regular relationship to them, and in a few weeks (2-6 weeks) it will wear off. 3. Stay in NC, sure you'll think about them...however in your case, what you don't know, cant hurt you!! That means no facebook, myspace, twitter, and nothing or no one that can give you updated on there life. Now when it comes to EGO this can work against you and for you....simple...You might say well how do I know if they didn't work out???...You don't need to know that..this is the scenario that it in which it can work for you. It can also work against you, like this, right now your hopeing that they don't work out right??? So what if you log back on and see that there no engaged?? See my point... Stay full NC!
just1guy Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 It's your EGO, you ego is causing you to be hurt..your probably having thoughts on "what was wrong with me?"..."why couldn't I make her the happiest she's ever been?"... You self-confidence is down, but not only EGO its a tad bit of love mixed in...no, you still love her!! How do I know?? I've been in this exact sistuation 2 times...first things first... 1. If your over someone 100% and no longer love them...theres nothing that can hurt you the tad bit...you won't be phased when you see them with a new mate. 2. Shes going through a re-bound stage or honey-moon period. I have alot of female friends and when this happens, they claim that "this is the happiest that they ever been!!". In reality it's just a regular relationship to them, and in a few weeks (2-6 weeks) it will wear off. 3. Stay in NC, sure you'll think about them...however in your case, what you don't know, cant hurt you!! That means no facebook, myspace, twitter, and nothing or no one that can give you updated on there life. Now when it comes to EGO this can work against you and for you....simple...You might say well how do I know if they didn't work out???...You don't need to know that..this is the scenario that it in which it can work for you. It can also work against you, like this, right now your hopeing that they don't work out right??? So what if you log back on and see that there no engaged?? See my point... Stay full NC! Great advice WiseOne1.
LovelyDaze Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Great advice WiseOne1. I must concur! Does it do ANY good checking on an ex(i.e. the dumper)? It's lose-lose. If your ex is single as all get out and they are NOT wanting to get back with you, it hurts you ego because they'd rather be alone than be with you. If your ex is with someone else, you will be hurt no matter if the other person is a complete loser, ugly or whatever. It's all about ego. Sure, your ex and the new person will more than likely become exes in time themselves. But you know what? What they do is no longer your problem. Be glad that you are free to open the door to getting to the love you deserve.
WiseOne1 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Buy my own theory is working against me...just like "LovelyDaze said, either way it's goign to be painful. I want to check out my ex's page or such, but then if I found out she's single, and has not came back, Im goining to be hurt.....also If I found out her and her last ex got back together, or are something more than they once were, im really going to be down....
sean1970 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 (edited) Why am i so afraid that it wont fail though...they have been friends a long time and from how she posted on facebook, she is happier than ever. All Bullshlt... Everyone is happy after the first shot and a beer... Few hours later, the alarm goes off, skull midgets are banging away on your cranium, and you have to be to work in 10 minutes. Nothing is ever as good, or bad, as we think it is... Im so ready to find someone else. I dont love her anymore i had what i had with her and the feelings. Ready? Really? Cause you dont sound like it... And, thats ok... Getting back into a relationship for the sake of being in one is futile. Get busy living and looking out for yourself... Edited March 12, 2010 by sean1970
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