jen_r Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I know some of you have said that I should feel super lucky to even be given this opportunity - the one where my ex is waiting for me to get my act together. But there are just some things I feel aren't right, and have me questioning if I'm being used until he decides to really move on. He keeps inviting me over for dinner, but I can't make the drive out there all the time - gas money, helllo! And then he made plans for us to go to the casino next week and spend the night there. Then invited me to his friends party this Friday. So, I'm thinking 'hmm, he keeps inviting me over & making plans w/me, he must be missing me and want me around more.' So then today I suggest staying over his place this weekend, and he responds with "I don't know what you expect of us. I miss u and wanna make this work but i feel like you think thats gonna happen in the next few months." Why can he suggest us doing things and ask me to sleep over and whatnot, but when I suggest something its like "SLOW DOWNNN JEN"? I feel like he is going to drag me along for a while and eventually split. Does it seem that way to you guys? Or do you genuinly think that he just wants time and to be able to see me casually? I get so frustrated because summer is coming, and I miss living with him and grilling on our porch and eating dinner together outside, and having a few drinks... Thats what gets me down the most, thinking of what I had, and how I don't think I will ever have that again. I HATE living @ my parents house - I get super depressed here. Sorry if this is confusing, I tend to word vomit.
LovelyDaze Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I know some of you have said that I should feel super lucky to even be given this opportunity - the one where my ex is waiting for me to get my act together. But there are just some things I feel aren't right, and have me questioning if I'm being used until he decides to really move on. He keeps inviting me over for dinner, but I can't make the drive out there all the time - gas money, helllo! And then he made plans for us to go to the casino next week and spend the night there. Then invited me to his friends party this Friday. So, I'm thinking 'hmm, he keeps inviting me over & making plans w/me, he must be missing me and want me around more.' So then today I suggest staying over his place this weekend, and he responds with "I don't know what you expect of us. I miss u and wanna make this work but i feel like you think thats gonna happen in the next few months." Why can he suggest us doing things and ask me to sleep over and whatnot, but when I suggest something its like "SLOW DOWNNN JEN"? I feel like he is going to drag me along for a while and eventually split. Does it seem that way to you guys? Or do you genuinly think that he just wants time and to be able to see me casually? I get so frustrated because summer is coming, and I miss living with him and grilling on our porch and eating dinner together outside, and having a few drinks... Thats what gets me down the most, thinking of what I had, and how I don't think I will ever have that again. I HATE living @ my parents house - I get super depressed here. Sorry if this is confusing, I tend to word vomit. He wants to control the situation and the pace without any help from you. For him to tell you..."I don't know what you expect of us" is very telling. It says that he doesn't want you back 100% as a girlfriend. I have exes who have done this act of BS with perfection and I learned my lesson. I've been gone from LS for 2 months and have been out dating. I have two exes including the recent one calling, texting and e-mailing...know why? Because I went NC as suggested and it paid off. Don't be so available. You are running on emotions and must decompress to clear your head. Try NC for a week. You win either way. If he contacts you even after you ignore him after a week..it shows you are on his mind. If he DOESN'T, it shows you who he really is and that you must move on for your own sanity.
Author jen_r Posted March 12, 2010 Author Posted March 12, 2010 So, i'm an idiot. I went up to my ex's apartment on wednesday to spend the whole weekend with him and didn't even make it to the weekend. He ended up getting furious with me because I didn't make phone calls all week trying to find a shelter for our cat. So, I was calling this morning, but no one could take him. And he says "I gave you one f**king task and you couldn't even do it, just makes me think - you aren't trying to change at all." And I'm like "so, you gave me a 'test' to see if I could actually do it?" and a fight ensued and he told me to leave. He totally over-reacted and started talking down to me AGAIN. And then started saying there was no way we were ever getting back together and he doesn't know why I still think we are going to end up together. ???? He infuriates me beyond belief. Why does he do this to me? I mean really? Does he get some sick pleasure out of seeing me cry?
Angel Pie Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Jen, Read this book "why men marry bitches" Its not just about marriage...The book starts off with dating and takes you into the mind of a guy...Men need to feel in control. Its a man thing. Im going through a rough situation as well and decided to read this book for the second time and it has shown me where I have made mistakes in being pushy, etc and has shown me what it is that men really want. Its a fun book but may help you through this rough time and it can help you step by step in how to handle your situation.
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