phoenix1 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 After trying multiple different situations, I went mostly NC a few months ago. I have been thinking that one of the things that is keeping me stuck is a level of non acceptance. I accept that it's over, really I don't want him back at this point. What I can't seem to accept is how someone that loved me so much at one time could treat me so poorly now. It makes me question the entire relationship, which was really good until, it was over, and we tried to maintain some kind of ? something. That's when our serious conflict started, and I'm so sorry now we didn't just go NC right away. In our relationship we were always able to disagree with love and respect. We did not break up because we didn't love each other, we were just at different places in life. Is it just a fantasy or only in movies that two adults could be sad, face the facts and then say goodbye with love? I just don't understand how you could love someone so much, and then just be so ****ty? I mean I'm not saying we should hang out all he time or even be friends, but leave with the good memories intact and respect for what you once had together? I mean even if you are not in love anymore...does that mean you have to be a jerk? I know it's out of my control and I just have to let it go.....not quite there yet. Just kind of venting and processing. Anybody else stuck on this?
2sunny Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 What I can't seem to accept is how someone that loved me so much at one time could treat me so poorly now. It makes me question the entire relationship we train people how to treat us. no one can make you feel a certain way - they can try - but it is you who does this. the fact that you gave him that ability and power may be what you are stumbling on. look at what that looked like for YOU. when you see it clearly and decide never to have it look that way again and what steps you will do to make sure it stays that way is where you will see progress in your healing. this is referred to as your own boundary. know it - live it. it will never fail you if you fully understand what your own boundary looks like and you stick to it in any situation.
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