tlegend Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Title explains it all. I've been perusing the pages of this forum while being an emotional wreck. I just need to rant. She broke up with me. About a week ago. At first I thought we were just having another fight, no talking for a few days, then everything would be good again. That ended when I got the text "I'm serious, we're done". To be fair, she is a sweet girl. A tad bit immature at times, she is 5 years my junior, but mature nonetheless. To my knowledge, there has been no infidelity, although a few incidents happened where a few questions needed to be asked but always seemed like an explanation. What is tearing me up is how much I miss her. I guess I never appreciated having her around, and that's one of the things she mentioned to me in one of the many conversations we've had. She's insisted she still loves me too, and this hurts her as much as it hurts me, but she just doesn't see a relationship with me at the moment because of how much we fight and how little we respected each other. For a little background info, we've been dating for approximately 2 years. She wants to be my friends. Even more so, she wants to be friends with benefits. She just doesn't want to the relationship anymore at the moment. and thinks we can try again when we have a newfound appreciation for each other. I know what that means. It means I'm dumping you but I feel guilty for it. I sent her a text last night. I told her that I was thankful that she broke it off nicely, that I was sorry for not appreciating her when I had her, and that I would regret it forever, then I wished her the best. I'm going to try this NC starting today. I'm going nuts and crazy at the same time because I really JUST started to allow myself to love this girl from my last dysfunctional relationship, and I think I was too late. She constantly tells me that it isn't for another man, but just because she wants to be happy and she felt we were not happy in our relationship anymore, and it seems we ARE happy when we're just friends. (We've hung out a few times after she broke up with me). Theres more to it obviously, I've only ranted briefly, but I don't have many people I can share this information to and get feedback that wouldn't involve a lecture and/or "told you so" or "this is your fault" response, regardless of if it is. NC sucks, but I can't make her love me like she did before. She was totally head over heels in love, willling to do anything for me. I apparently didn't reciprocate similiar feelings, and she felt she loved someone who didn't love her back. Even if I try to apologize and say I will work on those things, she doesn't want a relationship with me anymore. I'm broken.
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