sigurpol Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I know it selfish to flat out ask for something like this, but I've really seem hit a wall. I can't concentrate on school, work is miserable, you know how it goes. Quick rundown, Had a dry spell for a handful of years, and I've wanted to just finally meet somoene, and I did. Things were incredible the first 2 weeks, and then.. problems. We date for a while, then she breaks up with me, and won't talk to me. We finally talk, sort things out.. things are great for another week or two... and again, she turns off on me. Doesn't want to talk, or anything. We make valentines day plans, she bails on me an hour before I go to pick her up. So I'm finished. I stay out of touch for a few days, but she's trying like crazy to get a hold of me, and I give in. Things SEEM to go back to normal for a few weeks.. she tells me things like, I mean the world to her, she'd do anything for me, she cares about me, I'm perfect and everything she's been looking for. We make plans and I meet her parents for a great evening. SOMEHOW, the night ends in misery. She gets pissed because I wanted to come inside after our date. Just to kill time while some people moved their cars to let me out. She wouldn't respond to me at all, and only did after I asked if she was mad. Telling me shes, "TIRED!" She texts me the next day, saying I really pushed her away with that sort of behavior and kept pursing the fact to come in, after she said she was tired. And after that, will not answer phone calls or texts. Now today, we're back to the same ol thing. She's starting to get a hold of me again, making small conversation, etc. We made plans the other night (before the misery struck) to have dinner with her parents again, and for her birthday. I do NOT know what to do. Basically, I'm too afraid now to even take her up on any offers. As badly as I wanted this all to work out, my body has completely shut down and I honestly cannot take anymore. I do not know where to continue at this point. Well, I do.. I just need some pep talk to get me out of this. Thanks.
Rearden Metal Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 "Thanks for your interest, but you're too high maintenance for me. Good luck, hun!"
Green Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 You can do it if you just set your mind to it. Take fear out of the equation, clear you mind. and make some action man.
Author sigurpol Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 Thanks guys. I'm working on it. Anything else would be greatly appreciated.
spriggig Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I feel like I'm not getting your half of the story. You've said a lot about her reactions, but not your initial actions. I really pushed her away with that sort of behavior and kept pursing the fact to come in, after she said she was tired Based on what you've said, I think you're being clingy OR she is super adverse to normal advances. If you want to try again, just take it really slow. Don't make any romantic advances toward her AT ALL for several dates. Let her make OBVIOUS moves toward you first. Once she moves in, take over BUT GO SLOW. My most vivid memory of this sort of thing was my very first G/F--I was driving her to school and SHE reach over and held MY hand. I almost crashed the car--no joke, I had to pull over.
yume Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Basically, I'm too afraid now to even take her up on any offers. As badly as I wanted this all to work out, my body has completely shut down and I honestly cannot take anymore.There's your advice. She makes you feel like crap continually. Let it go. Say no, and mean it. Don't let yourself be with someone who makes you feel like utter ****.
sativo Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 She sounds like a fairly reasonable and healthy girl to me. Maybe you deserve to be treated like that? I mean... maybe you're not good enough to be loved and appreciated.
Author sigurpol Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 She sounds like a fairly reasonable and healthy girl to me. Maybe you deserve to be treated like that? I mean... maybe you're not good enough to be loved and appreciated. I'm hoping that's all sarcasm.
sativo Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Of course! lol Maybe reverse psychology. I dunno. But surely, you don't believe that do you?
Author sigurpol Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 Hahaha.. I was gonna say, what the hell kinda advice is that? Um, no I don't believe that's true about me, but she's starting to make me feel that way. She texted me this morning about the way I "acted" on Saturday, and that I've acted that way before and she's afraid that's going to reoccur down the road when I don't get what I want. It's hard to defend myself here, but I consider myself pretty patient. Especially this hot and cold game has gone on for about 3 months now, and I've kept my mouth shut and been as nice as can be.
sativo Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Well, that's just the point. I think the consensus here is that she's not stable. The more you try to figure it out, the more you're going to get sucked into her psychosis. We've probably all "been there, done that". This isn't too uncommon with attractive girls (no offense to stable minded attractive girls) -- they're spoiled and live in a skewed reality where they get everything they want. It's impossible to reason with someone like that. You'll see. Best advice so far is to run. But... in all likelihood, you'll stick around for some more abuse :-\ I hope not though. Peace.
Author sigurpol Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 I totally agree. But, I've stuck around for long enough. This is too much for me.. even if I wanted to stick around, my body simply won't allow it. Thanks for everything.
mmk1 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 This girl is simply not right for you. Be glad that you did not invest any more time in her!
engravefeelthevoid Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 "Thanks for your interest, but you're too high maintenance for me. Good luck, hun!" +10 Be a real man
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