lofi_tokyo Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 How likely is it that you'll find a renewed interest in someone you've decided you were not interested in before? For instance, if you went out with someone on a few dates and then called it quits, have you ever found yourself wanting to date them again later on? There are some men out there that I've dated where the answer is a definitive no - I can't see them doing anything to get my interest back - they're just not my type! In some other cases though... I'm not too sure. So what do you guys think? Do you believe in one chance only, or are you always open to renewed opportunities?
Fouts Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 I can tell if there's a connection right away, so no, I've never went back to see if it could work again or if I'd feel different. I've went out on a few extra dates to see if something might click in, but never went back after realizing it's just not there.
alphamale Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 no it generally doesn't work. women get real pissed off when rejected and if you ask her out again you'll get burned.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Nope. I know what I want. If it wasn't there the first time, no need to go beat that horse any more.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 no it generally doesn't work. women get real pissed off when rejected and if you ask her out again you'll get burned. I was about to say that's not the case - there are guys that have turned me down that I'd be happy to be asked out again by - but after thinking about it for a second, you're probably right. A guy that turned me down a while back came around again, and while I really did enjoy the attention, I was prompt to make fun of him (to my girlfriends) for thinking I'd go for someone that had turned me down previously. Yikes!
northstar1 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 I was about to say that's not the case - there are guys that have turned me down that I'd be happy to be asked out again by - but after thinking about it for a second, you're probably right. A guy that turned me down a while back came around again, and while I really did enjoy the attention, I was prompt to make fun of him (to my girlfriends) for thinking I'd go for someone that had turned me down previously. Yikes! The harsh truth!
homersheineken Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 I've done it before. Something about the pursuit maybe, I dunno. We ended up dating 4.5 yrs. Another girl I turned down, then she to me, then me to her and then we dated a bit. We're still friends
northstar1 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Hiya North Hey! long time. glad you seem to be doing well!
Author lofi_tokyo Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 I've done it before. Something about the pursuit maybe, I dunno. We ended up dating 4.5 yrs. Another girl I turned down, then she to me, then me to her and then we dated a bit. We're still friends Cool! I knew there had to be someone out there that had done it. I sometimes wonder if I don't give people enough time - like maybe if I had gotten to know them better I'd be more attracted to them. I guess I'm kind of evaluating the reasons why I've backed away from relationships lately.
alphamale Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 say you know someone who lost a lot of weight and is attractive now. if you ask them out now they will always wonder why you didn't ask them out when they were heavy. ergo any relationship is doomed from the start.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 say you know someone who lost a lot of weight and is attractive now. if you ask them out now they will always wonder why you didn't ask them out when they were heavy. ergo any relationship is doomed from the start. Well, in the case of losing weight, maybe. But does that always have to be the case?
alphamale Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Well, in the case of losing weight, maybe. But does that always have to be the case? pretty much yes. if it doesn't work the first time it usually won't work the second
The Paper Knight Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Cool! I knew there had to be someone out there that had done it. I have had it done to me a few times from short to LTR's. The funny thing is, that you become empowered because you are now stronger after dealing with the pain of rejection and now know that person still has a thing for you. So be careful if you hurt them, because they will not give in for sometime and may end up hurting you back, but thats the risk you take. PS. I am actually seeing a girl this week that I bumped into on the weekend after not seeing her for three years after having a month relationship. I am allot fitter than before so maybe as alphamale pointed out I look more attractive. ergo I know what see wants
carhill Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 For instance, if you went out with someone on a few dates and then called it quits, have you ever found yourself wanting to date them again later on? If both of us were single and available, no, never. If it's 'getting to know' someone who isn't available for dating, then parting company and, if available in the future, it depends. So what do you guys think? Do you believe in one chance only, or are you always open to renewed opportunities? With romance, yes, if both parties have their focus on it and it's no joy, then that's done. No repeat performances. I've learned from experiencing people over long periods of time that, although we do grow and change, there are certain intrinsic parts of us which never change and, to the extent that those impact compatibility, nor will it change. If incompatible before, incompatible later, IMO.
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