DeepThinker01 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 My relationship went to hell because of Craigslist. It was the site that my "lover" was sending e-mails and posting ads to women. Including married ones. After I had caught him trying to cheat, he opened up and showed me the e-mails. They are all burned in my mind. I remember one specifically said, "So you're married? I have always dreamed of being with a married woman. I am in a relationship as well, so discretion is a must". There were hundreds of E-mails to women, and each one was different. From sexually explicit to love letters to **** like that. Has this happened to you with a lover? At the time I read the e-mails, I didn't even KNOW Craigslist was a site where men and women advertised themselves and were looking for sex. My dumb ass thought it was just a site where you could buy some cheap merchandise, like Ebay. Craigslist is a terrible website. It brought so much heartache and anger. Has anyone else had a problem like this? As horrible as I feel saying it, i'd be lying if I didn't admit that it made me feel bitter towards men. I know deep down that I can't blame all men for the acts of one raging and sick pervert.. but I just can't help it. Your post stuck out to me mainly because you are a man who posted it. I'd like to hear from you, and added you to my contacts in case you are interested. Anyone else who has had an issue like that, feel free to add me. I'd like to know how people deal with something like this .. and it's nice to know i am not alone.
Fouts Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 What does Craigslist have to do with you having a loser as a boyfriend
Disintegration Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Craigslist isn't for just housing or furniture these days it seems. Although I have never had an experience such as yourself I can see why you would have a dislike for the site now. When you hear or think of it you will automatically think of inappropriate behavior. It really isn't the site so much as it is your lover's behavior on such a site. Could happen anywhere really, facebook, myspace, or even in person.
carhill Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 In another thread, the OP related that she subsequently cheated on her BF with two men. My take is they are both young and this will be life lessons that they'll both hopefully learn from. Try being alone for awhile. That way, there's no cheating
bittersweet memories Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 My relationship went to hell because of Craigslist. It was the site that my "lover" was sending e-mails and posting ads to women. Including married ones. After I had caught him trying to cheat, he opened up and showed me the e-mails. They are all burned in my mind. I remember one specifically said, "So you're married? I have always dreamed of being with a married woman. I am in a relationship as well, so discretion is a must". There were hundreds of E-mails to women, and each one was different. From sexually explicit to love letters to **** like that. Has this happened to you with a lover? At the time I read the e-mails, I didn't even KNOW Craigslist was a site where men and women advertised themselves and were looking for sex. My dumb ass thought it was just a site where you could buy some cheap merchandise, like Ebay. Craigslist is a terrible website. It brought so much heartache and anger. Has anyone else had a problem like this? As horrible as I feel saying it, i'd be lying if I didn't admit that it made me feel bitter towards men. I know deep down that I can't blame all men for the acts of one raging and sick pervert.. but I just can't help it. Your post stuck out to me mainly because you are a man who posted it. I'd like to hear from you, and added you to my contacts in case you are interested. Anyone else who has had an issue like that, feel free to add me. I'd like to know how people deal with something like this .. and it's nice to know i am not alone. No....he ruined you. If it wasn't craiglist it would be some other site.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I had this happen, I caught my husband on sexsearch.com and hornymatches. I know about having the emails burned into your head. It is so painful. But not as painful as when they leave. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Author DeepThinker01 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 It's very nice to know that someone can relate to me. I know that people say over and over that it's happened to a whole bunch of people, but I never actually came across one. I only have one question for you though.. Were you ever able to get over it?
CarrieT Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Were you ever able to get over it? Every day is a healing process. Whether or not you want to forgive your husband and continue the relationship is another question, but -- yes -- time DOES heal all wounds.
ADF Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Craigslist was just the vehicle. A man determined to cheat will find a way.
Jeff1962 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 My relationship went to hell because of Craigslist. It was the site that my "lover" was sending e-mails and posting ads to women. Including married ones. After I had caught him trying to cheat, he opened up and showed me the e-mails. They are all burned in my mind. I remember one specifically said, "So you're married? I have always dreamed of being with a married woman. I am in a relationship as well, so discretion is a must". There were hundreds of E-mails to women, and each one was different. From sexually explicit to love letters to **** like that. Has this happened to you with a lover? At the time I read the e-mails, I didn't even KNOW Craigslist was a site where men and women advertised themselves and were looking for sex. My dumb ass thought it was just a site where you could buy some cheap merchandise, like Ebay. Craigslist is a terrible website. It brought so much heartache and anger. Has anyone else had a problem like this? As horrible as I feel saying it, i'd be lying if I didn't admit that it made me feel bitter towards men. I know deep down that I can't blame all men for the acts of one raging and sick pervert.. but I just can't help it. Your post stuck out to me mainly because you are a man who posted it. I'd like to hear from you, and added you to my contacts in case you are interested. Anyone else who has had an issue like that, feel free to add me. I'd like to know how people deal with something like this .. and it's nice to know i am not alone. There are many, many men out there looking for a loving, respectful, long term, faithful relationship. Don't give up on men because of a selfesh backstabbing person. If I wanted to, I could say women are cold hearted selfesh bit**es but this only objecitfies them and this is not good.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I never hunted for men on CL, but I found my home, my housekeeper, garden designer, tractor, some nice sheep, great bargain windows, repair person for my lawn mower, homes for feral kittens - the list just goes on and on! OP - I am sorry for your pain, but the "lover" is obviously a sleazebag, and I know this probably sounds trite and annoying right now, but you are lucky that he showed his true colors in such a blatant way.
rmagnus Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 With the www, everything is more instant, things are just moving faster. It's not the tech itself, but the individual's tendencies or even pathologies. It seems that if a person is determined to do something, they will find a way. A lot of tech seems driven by porn/sex. I have heard my husband (who is a computer scientist) say that the Internet is completely driven to become more and more sophisticated and faster because of porn. In an earlier LTR, I experienced something similar to what you are going through. The best I can say is that is says little about you. It says more about the other party's pathologies, and probably isn't coming from a place of not feeling whole within himself. Good luck, you are not alone, and I hope you will treat yourself well.
Author DeepThinker01 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 I'd like to thank everybody who has replied to my post. I know I was wrong directing my anger towards something else, I just want everyone to know that I left the scumbag and am happy being alone right now. I feel such a sense of relief right now...And ya'll have really helped me see things clearly. And you're right. Someone with that desire doesn't only go through one outlet. If he wanted to, he probably still does today, and there is no way around that. As for myself, I will go back to doing things that I enjoy such as spending time with the family and friends. =) I sunk to a low level and like another poster said, I had to get out before it was too late and lost what dignity I had left. I'm not afraid of being alone. Thanks again to all of you.
Tony T Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Craigslist is totally and completely without fault in who sees its postings. People have a free will to do what they want with the listings on that site. Don't give Craigslist the rap for what happened to you. Craigslist is irrelevant to your personal behavior.
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