DeepThinker01 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 My boyfriend tried to cheat on me several times, and after I found out he was trying (via craigslist/text messages with co-workers) I don't know if he ever did.. He came clean to me one day after I pulled up a photo on his received files of women naked. He did the same thing, denied it, said it was porn. Once I drove to his house at 12:30am to find him in a girl's car, he claims they were just talking. There is a lot left to this story, he did a lot of ****. I was naiive thinking I was living this fairy tale and had not cheated or even had the desire to look at another man. He ruined that for me. I was bitter and became jealous after learning about everything he had done, including lying to me about how many women he had slept with. To make an extremely long story short, time has passed. He went to sex addict meetings with me. He changed everything. I even sunk so low that I cheated on him with two men. The bottom line is, I really want to know. Is it possible for someone to move on not knowing the details? Should I pry into the past that we both tried so hard to forget to know if he had sex with someone else? Is it worth it? I always wonder how far he went. He had even given me an STD. I was a virgin when we had sex, so I know it was him. Somebody please help me out with this. I feel like I am suffocating myself. He is my best friend now and I have tried desperately to make peace out of what happened. Before this I was very chill and never the jealous type. He and a girl friend of his had gone so far to try to get me jealous on purpose, and now that I am, I feel like I have lost control. I hate that I am not as sure about everything as I was before him. As I have said, he is my best friend and the only person I talk to. I don't have any other friends that know me as well as he does. Could he use this as a weapon? I can never cheat on him again...
blair08 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 He went to one sex addict meeting and changed everything? If he is a true sex addict it didn't take one time turn himself around. You also stated you cheated. It looks like its something you're always going to wonder no matter what he tells you. Are you happy living that kind of life that no matter what he might say you might not truly believe him anyway?
Author DeepThinker01 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Thanks for writing back. He went to the meetings for a few months and I would go with him. It really made me miserable. I was told so many times that it's too good to be true. I figured that since everyone has had a heartbreak, it is just my turn. I was in a few relationships before him and was able to drop things with whoever I was with. I just got to attached to this one guy an was tricked into believing everything was perfect. What I am wondering is, is it impossible for someone to change who tried to cheat but couldn't? Or is there always going to be that need to do it? I know I cheated, and I really regret it. This has really helped me, especially since I am posting this online to people I don't know. Sigh. I just don't know how to deal with it. I didn't tell anyone what happened. I did not and don't have anyone to vent to. I am just so frustrated because I hate to pester people with drama. I'm glad I found this site
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