unsaved Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Having them come back really does boost your own ego if you are OVER them! The first guy I ever dated treated me like COMPLETE CRAP. He broke up and got back together with me like 3 times and I came back each time b/c he was my first love. Well, in the end, I ended up leaving him b/c I couldn't take it anymore. I met someone new and was SO happy. 2 months later, guess who shows up at my door?! Yep, the ex. He tells me how much he misses hanging around with me and being with me. I tell him I'm sorry that I've found someone else. He ended up leaving and on his way home, he called me crying! Actually, it was sorta sad BUT, great at the same time b/c I had finally moved on and HE was the one hurting. And honestly, all of the exes that dumped me (well, two of them) have come back at some point. I wonder why. A case of "don't know what you got till' it's gone," I guess. Oh well. :-)
Ilovecake Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 First of all...count your blessings if it DOESN'T happen...if they DON'T contact you in any way, shape or form. I posted about a week or so ago that my ex had sent a 6 word email after 8 weeks of complete NC and after the initial shock and surprise wore off, I felt better then I'd felt since before the breakup last December. I felt that that pathetic little contact was enough to help me over the hump and toward moving on a bit better. Did he want me back?...I would guess no.....was it a little hook jiggling around to see if I'd bite?...I don't know that either...I don't know WHAT it was but I do know what it wasn't. It WASN'T a positive thing. It feels bad. The good blast I felt initially is gone with an even bigger slide back to where I was weeks ago. All he said was, "Would you like to meet somewhere?".....I felt that I had gotten just a little bit of my power back and decided immediately that I would maintain NC and I have hung tight and stayed true to myself. And...I felt angry ...how dare he send 6 little words thinking I'd seriously respond to THAT? I have heard no more from him and don't expect to. I wish I never would have. I don't want to be stressing and wondering if he'll try again...I HATE having that thought pop in and out of my mind now. Will he or won't he? What are the odds? I DON'T want to give a rat's a** to be honest. I felt so good the first 3 days or so after. I felt like I had finally gotten validation of sorts. 4-5 days after that email, my mind started to rethink things, recycle through thoughts and memories. I remember distinctly having the thought, "Oh no!" go through my mind as the wheels started whiring in my head a few days ago and today, 9 days after he sent that...I feel way too set back...it's NOT a nice place to be back to. So...think long and hard if contact from the ex is REALLY, truely something you could deal with. I wished for it...I held out just a bit of hope...it happened and I wish I could go back to 10 days ago. I was there many times. He would initiate contact tell me he wanted to see me and missed having me in his life. I would get all excited and try and talk to him but I never heard the words I wanted to hear and that would always set me back and throw me into a depression. Now that I became resigned not to ever talk to him again he’s been trying to ‘make polite” conversation when I don’t respond he does things that he knows will hurt me. I just found out he’s getting married yet still “trying to be friends with me”. I wish more than anything he would leave me alone. They think they’re doing you favors by throwing crumbs in your face. Good for you for coming to the realization you did, it's when you finally give up the hope that you can start the real heeling process. I wish you lots of strength.
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