my "friend" turned out to be an attention...

[phineas]

Whore.

The long & the short was she started hinting she wanted to be more than friends & I wasn't sure I wanted that because I had a crazy STBXW to deal with.

 

Then, she asked me out for dinner & ultimatly left me sitting at home waiting on her phone call.

Which never came.

 

I called her the next day & left VM telling her she flaked on me & wanted to know what happened.

She acted like nothing was wrong & she didn't blow me off & gave me lame excuses & i told her I had to go.

 

She said she'd call me when she got out of work.

she called at 10. I was allready sleep.

She called me the next morning.

Normally I would just ignore the woman in this situation but for some reason i'd had it with women treating me like crap.

 

She had called to see "if I was still around" because I didn't pick up last night.

 

OK. now I know she KNOWS she blew me off & wanted to make sure she still had me.

 

Thats when I calmly told her I hadn't decided if I was going to keep her around because, she kinda annoyed me. I told her she knew I liked her, asked me out then left me sitting at home waiting on her call then acted like she did nothing wrong & never even bothered to say she was sorry.

That's when she said she didn't know she did anything wrong & didn't know I liked her as more than friends. really?

 

I told her I shouldn't have to tell an adult when their treating people poorly.

 

That's when she started dropping the sorry's & said she'd make it up to me & started rattling off half a dozzen dates 2 or 3 weeks in the future. HUH?

 

I just told her I wanted to be more than just friends & she can't tell me whether she feels the same way or not & is all booked up for the next 2 or 3 weeks?

 

I told her I didn't need her to make it up to me unless it was a date & if she ever blew me off like that again i'd stop talking to her.

 

I told her I was at work & had to go.

And she said she'd call me later that night.

She didn't of course.

But called me this morning while I was working.

I didn't pick up & she didn't leave a message.

 

She was playing mind games with me. I'm sure of it. She tells me "I'll call you right back & let you know what were doing tonight" then doesn't & ignores my phone call?

 

C'mon. don't insult my intelligence.

 

I don't plan on answering this woman's calls anymore unless she leaves a message telling me she wants to date.

 

I don't think that's going to happen.

 

I'm surprised she even called me after I had to give her a lesson in manners. I expected to not see her again so i figured i'd give her what for anyways.

 

The funny thing is just a few weeks previous she was asking me about who kept calling while I was on the phone with her & I told her about the woman I work with that blew me off & has been calling me but not leaving a message & how I'm ignoring her & not calling her until she leaves me a message like an adult & tells me what she wants.

This woman agreed I'm doing the right thing because I don't need people like that in my life.

 

Yet she pulled the same stunt on me herself?

 

don't need that.

Don't want that.

 

NEXT! LOL!

[phineas]

Unbelievable.

 

This woman can't seem to remember to call me back the night she asked me out, but can remember that she offered to give me something that same night & has sent me text reminding me she has it & wants to know when I want to pick it up.

 

Still has not addressed the fact that I want to date her & is acting like nothing has happened.

 

I think it's best to just ignore her.

[freestyle]

her behavior sounds a little bi-polar, (the acting like nothing happened)

 

I think you'd be wise to put her in your rearview mirror.

 

There's a red flag for crazy-making behavior, and who needs that??

[phineas]

I feel bad because these are 4 tables she got free for me.

Now she will be stuck with them.

 

But true to attention whore form, we have the gift tactic to get a responce, next will probably be the guilt tactic, then she'll get pissed at me for ignoring her & act like i'm the jerk.

 

Then finally just go away for a few months then try to contact me again to see if she can pull me back in.

 

Is it just that there are so many people like this in the world or are they just drawn to me? LOL!

[DustySaltus]

Man do I hate flakes. I like how she hints at how she wants to be more than friends and then says, "oh, i thought we were just friends".

 

Then she laughs about the other girl who did the same thing. What a hypocrite.

 

I'm actually surprised you went this far with her phineas. I take you for someone who would've next'd the girl a while back.

[phineas]

Man do I hate flakes. I like how she hints at how she wants to be more than friends and then says, "oh, i thought we were just friends".

 

Then she laughs about the other girl who did the same thing. What a hypocrite.

 

I'm actually surprised you went this far with her phineas. I take you for someone who would've next'd the girl a while back.

 

I'm not sure why I didn't.

I honestly did not feel attracted to her when I first met her.

Probably because I was only 6 months seperated.

She has a hot body. like a size 1 jeans she said.

The face isn't too bad.

Awsome personality (the biggest draw since we spent most contact on the phone.) I recognized all that. But i didn't feel a sexual attraction to her on an emotional level. just noted she was easy on the eyes.

 

I was a little lonely & needed someone to talk to & she told me she was in the same boat so that was that.

 

It wasn't until she started "acting" like she was interested in being more than friends & asked me out that I decided i'd like to date her.

I was on the fence before that.

 

Then she flaked on me.

 

the thing is, everytime we made plans to get together with the kids she was very proactive in plan making. Always double checking & such. Coordinating who was bringing fruit snacks, juice boxe's & where we were eating afterword ect.

 

So I was really surprised by this behaviour when it was just her & I.

especially when she asked me.

[DustySaltus]

I'm not sure why I didn't.

I honestly did not feel attracted to her when I first met her.

Probably because I was only 6 months seperated.

She has a hot body. like a size 1 jeans she said.

The face isn't too bad.

Awsome personality (the biggest draw since we spent most contact on the phone.) I recognized all that. But i didn't feel a sexual attraction to her on an emotional level. just noted she was easy on the eyes.

 

I was a little lonely & needed someone to talk to & she told me she was in the same boat so that was that.

 

It wasn't until she started "acting" like she was interested in being more than friends & asked me out that I decided i'd like to date her.

I was on the fence before that.

 

Then she flaked on me.

 

the thing is, everytime we made plans to get together with the kids she was very proactive in plan making. Always double checking & such. Coordinating who was bringing fruit snacks, juice boxe's & where we were eating afterword ect.

 

So I was really surprised by this behaviour when it was just her & I.

especially when she asked me.

 

I think that there's more than one horse in this race. I mean who is "booked" for the next two weeks? Is it too hard to squeeze in a drink or coffee somewhere?

 

I know that lonely feeling after me and my ex fiance broke up. But it's better to be lonely than to be lonely + driving yourself crazy.

 

She's trying to cover up her "multi-dating" by being naive about things. You can see it from a mile away. I've been there, like you and learned my lesson. If someone flakes out on you they better have a damn good reason and if they don't, as the barber says "next". And if they do have a good reason they need to be the one to initiate everything and follow through with the plans...otherwise see above.

[phineas]

I think that there's more than one horse in this race. I mean who is "booked" for the next two weeks? Is it too hard to squeeze in a drink or coffee somewhere?

 

I know that lonely feeling after me and my ex fiance broke up. But it's better to be lonely than to be lonely + driving yourself crazy.

 

She's trying to cover up her "multi-dating" by being naive about things. You can see it from a mile away. I've been there, like you and learned my lesson. If someone flakes out on you they better have a damn good reason and if they don't, as the barber says "next". And if they do have a good reason they need to be the one to initiate everything and follow through with the plans...otherwise see above.

 

It's funny you mention this.

I suspected she was seeing someone because she called me one friday after work to talk. (she really only called me when she was in her car, the excuse being she couldn't talk at home because her kids made too much noise) & I asked if she'd be home later & she was "uhhhhhhhhhhh, yes but i'm crashing early" & I knew she was full of it.

 

but I didn't care at the time because I was still in "woman bad" mode.

 

So I just figured she'd back burnered me because someone who constantly tells me she doesn't want to date ALL THE TIME dost protest too much me thinks.

 

I felt she was stalling for some reason Always talking about the summer instead of now.

She wouldn't answer her phone on her days off either & then just text me back or she'd call me really late to say "hi" as she was pulling into her drive way on her drive home from "work".

 

Jeez, I wonder if i'm the OM. LOL!

 

She's pissed at me now.

kept sending me texts about tables so I told her sunday night i'll get them.

Her, I work till 7:30. (she lives 40 mins. away)

Me: what nights don't you work late?

her: never....

 

LOL!

it's amazing how angry they get when you've figured them out & start ignoreing them.

 

I feel much better now.

 

although, the class reunion this yr should prove interesting as we graduated together. (I never had her in any classes in highschool but she isisted she new me back then)

Edited March 9, 2010 by phineas

[phineas]

Ya know, for someone that couldn't be bothered to call me back or answer the phone when she was supposed to be out at dinner with me, she sure seems hell bent on talking to me now.

Blowing up my cell phone with "hi's" & BS about a sale on something she saw for my kids & what not.

 

She's called me more in the last day than she has since she asked me to dinner last week.

 

Now she left a message saying she suspects i'm not talking to her.

Gee, what was her first clue.

 

But no apology, explanation or reschedule.

 

it just amazes me. It really does.

[Yamaha]

Women don't like to be dumped.

They want to do the dumping......

[carhill]

There are institutions for the mentally ill

[Stung]

I don't plan on answering this woman's calls anymore unless she leaves a message telling me she wants to date.

 

 

This woman sounds awful. Why would you want to date her at all? There are other, BETTER fish in the sea.

[phineas]

so, she sent a text admitting she "f'd" up. She's sorry, the "real" reason she blew me off & a list of dates & times this week & next she was free to go out.

 

apparantly her schedule cleared.

 

her reason for the blow off?

 

She hasn't dated in over yr.

She's made really bad decisions with men lately & she's afraid to date again.

 

When the reality of going on a date set in she panicked & flaked on me & was afraid to tell me the truth.

 

I told her I am not interested in being just friends.

I told her I don't want flakes in my life & if she wants to go out with me she needs to make an effort & show me she wants to see me.

I said I don't mind going slow but if I think she's stringing me along i'm done with her.

 

She's given me her home number just in case, said I can pick her up at her place & she'll pay for dinner if I decide I want to see her.

 

I do like this woman's personality & work ethic.

and she's hot, but I had rubbed one out earlier before she called me last night so I think i was good there.

 

She's got issue.

We all got issues.

 

If it really is a case of her recognizing her people picker is broken & she's overly cautious then i'll put up with that for a little.

 

Right now i'm still deciding if the cost of gas money is worth a free dinner.

i'm also admit I have some trust issues with women since my wife's affair.

I don't automatically mistrust women, but i'm a little hyper-sensitive & may see things that arn't there.

 

reguardless, my guard will be up with this woman if I decide I want to see her.

 

edit: I also told her she better make sure she is ready because if she flakes on me again i'm gone.

Edited March 10, 2010 by phineas

[SadandConfusedWA]

If you keep up with the threats, you will drive her away.

 

She was honest. It was hard fro her. Now give her a break and treat her like a lady..

[carhill]

text, schedule, no date, people-picker, bad decisions with men, etc, etc...

 

Tell me, how did she make bad decisions with men lately if she hasn't dated in over a year? A year is an eternity; it's not 'lately'. And she's 'hot'? LOL, even I wouldn't eat that shyte...

 

Also, text? Not even a simple phone call?

 

I'll leave my advice as it sits.

[phineas]

text, schedule, no date, people-picker, bad decisions with men, etc, etc...

 

Tell me, how did she make bad decisions with men lately if she hasn't dated in over a year? A year is an eternity; it's not 'lately'. And she's 'hot'? LOL, even I wouldn't eat that shyte...

 

Also, text? Not even a simple phone call?

 

I'll leave my advice as it sits.

 

We talked.

I wasn't answering the phone or responding to her VM's.

so she tried texting. LOL!

Then she called again when I responded to her text.

 

"Lately" was my word.

The last guy was a control freak.

The guy before got violent.

Both were 1yr+ relationships before they went sour.

She actually knew both guy's before hand & somehow missed who they really were.

 

Also every woman i've sent packing for pulling crap has been hot as far as i'm concerend.

This one only started getting flakey after she decided she liked me as more than friends. not an excuse, but at some point I have to stop dropping people for first offenses & give them a chance to treat me the way I want to be treated.

[carhill]

Do you really believe she hasn't dated in a year? Really? Connect that and 'hot' for more insight. Now, she's suddenly ready for dating, but scared and flakes out. Be patient. A hot woman wants you to be patient. Good on ya, man. Hope it works out for you

 

Straight up, women lie. I dealt with it in my marriage and as a single man. I believed the lies and manipulations. Now I watch actions. Women get what they give.

[DustySaltus]

she's hot, but I had rubbed one out earlier before she called me last night so I think i was good there.

 

Always a good way to get back to reality.

[phineas]

Do you really believe she hasn't dated in a year? Really? Connect that and 'hot' for more insight. Now, she's suddenly ready for dating, but scared and flakes out. Be patient. A hot woman wants you to be patient. Good on ya, man. Hope it works out for you

 

Straight up, women lie. I dealt with it in my marriage and as a single man. I believed the lies and manipulations. Now I watch actions. Women get what they give.

 

I hear ya.

I don't believe she hasn't dated either & did tell her so.

Just about everyone has options.

Just about everyone has their own personal definition of "dateing" she could of hung out with men not in the context or just plain screwed them & not "dated" them.

 

I wasn't "dateing" the chick I banged a few times last month. I was just banging her.

 

It's a sad game.

 

She now know's she needs to step up or i'm walking.

If I catch a whiff of BS or if I feel the need to post here & ask a question about something she did then I know I need to shut the PC off & go out & find another woman.

[carhill]

And without prejudice. At another time, in another place, you and she might be compatible. It's really unknown.

 

Let's imagine for a moment her intentions are honest and honorable and she's all up in this emotional funk because of her past bad experiences. Wow, I can really empathize with that, going through a divorce; I have a funk or two myself. OK, that said, is it really the responsibility of the women I approach for dating to deal with that funk? Hell no. That's why the ladies here on LS straight up told me they wouldn't date me simply because I hadn't had enough airspace between divorcing and single life. I'll bet that reflects the perspective of women IRL too. Are they wrong? Hell no. They own their perspective.

 

Own yours

[SadandConfusedWA]

Ugh, I feel really sorry for this woman. You are bitter and still not even close to being over what happened with your ex W. You are being cruel to her as a payback to her being flakey + as a payback for every other women that screwed with you. I hope she wises up and ditches you completly.

[threebyfate]

Flake, gamer, call her what you want, if you respect yourself and want a healthy relationship, step away from this head case.

[phineas]

Ugh, I feel really sorry for this woman. You are bitter and still not even close to being over what happened with your ex W. You are being cruel to her as a payback to her being flakey + as a payback for every other women that screwed with you. I hope she wises up and ditches you completly.

 

I'm not bitter.

 

I was nice to her right up to the point where she asked me out then left me sitting at home with a "i'll call you right back & let you know what's going on" when we should of been allready on our date.

 

I was planing to write her off.

But she actually apologized & seems genuine in wanting to make it up to me.

 

That still remains to be seen.

 

Telling her ahead of time not to play any games or I walk is cruel how again?

[SadandConfusedWA]

Just don't tell her again. She got the message by now and if she likes you, she won't do it again.

 

I relate to her because I have done something similar, not because I didn't like the guy but because I was afraid to date due to my issues. I wasn't nearly brave enough to be honest with him though, so I just blew him off. I am just saying that she could be genuine.

[aroll32]

I relate to her because I have done something similar, not because I didn't like the guy but because I was afraid to date due to my issues. I wasn't nearly brave enough to be honest with him though, so I just blew him off. I am just saying that she could be genuine.

 

I just don't understand that at all. I can relate to you OP, it seems as though a lot of things she said were lies and made stupid excuses not to see you. Eerily familiar