DenverBachelor Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 After watching, "Alice in Wonderland," in the theatres the other day, I realized just how similar relationships can be for us. Perhaps we met them in a bar, in the library, the grocery isle or some other completely random place. We talked, held hands, laughed and suddenly realized just how compatible we were. We'd go out to movies, bars, coffee shops, museums -- constantly learning more about what drives our thoughts and the little quirks and nuisances that nobody else in the world could replicate. We'd start spending time together, perhaps move in together and started to have sex. Each day it became more intimate and you learned to grow together and forgive the faults while laughing at the quirks. You would realize that she always liked to keep the bathroom door open six inches and she realized you loved to read a magazine while she showered. Day by day, you'd share more things as a couple. You would try out new restaurants, go out with his or her parents or other relatives and grow into their family (as they did yours). You learned what she looked like when she woke up without make-up and you realized she was just as beautiful without it. She learned you hated morning and couldn't get going without at least two cups of coffee in the morning. You would both continue to grow together, exchange resolutions of an eternity together and plan trips to places you both always wanted to see. Then, one morning, cloudy outside without the sun anywhere to be found, you woke up as she was sitting up in bed. She would look at you and start crying, and you would then go to cuddle her -- but she would pull away. "I don't feel the way I used to about you." ... Or something similar to those words. It could have just as easily been him to her, but at that moment, nothing made sense and the world cracked in half in your reality. You would reason, beg and plead but the love suddenly had receded into what would forever be your past and no words, actions or expressions would ever bring back what you had the night before. And this is why relationships are so damn hard ...
cdt76 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 And what do you do when almost a year later you are dead inside with no feeling or compassion for anyone? No desire to let yourself love again and risk the pain that comes with the bitter end? How do you get back to that euphoria without risking a broken heart and broken world and the answer is you can't. So much anger and pain has left a pit inside that clamours for attention only to be filled like it was when the sun was shining and the wind blowing through her hair and the way she looked at you. But nothing seems to fill it. No other woman, no alcohol, no scary movie, no party full of friends. Not even the warm and sexy body of a woman/man who is really into you at the moment. It means nothing because there is no feeling. It's like the heart that pumped the life blood is dead and the body merely survives because it has too for other reasons. I've tried to be honest and try. Try to get back into the world of feelings and the only feelings still vibrant is anger and hate and unfortunately love is nowhere to be found.
mickleb Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Um, I haven't seen the new remake of Alice In Wonderland, DeBache, but you don't explain - at all - how relationships are like it (or madness, for that matter). Unless they've twisted the story into some generic, chick-flick style drama..? I believe all these 'Isn't Love Just Like An Ice-Cream Cone/Small Rat/Three Grains of Sand?' type threads are your way of reminiscing all the good times/using art as an excuse/holding onto all the hurt. Time to work hard at LETTING GO and being honest with yourself, and us. Get straight-talking about how you are feeling, ask questions about how to move on from this place: get REAL. Your muse has departed. Seek the next one in yourself. x
Andrew1984 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 but at that moment, nothing made sense and the world cracked in half in your reality. You would reason, beg and plead but the love suddenly had receded into what would forever be your past and no words, actions or expressions would ever bring back what you had the night before. This is written perfectly. Ive been there.
Andrew1984 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 And what do you do when almost a year later you are dead inside with no feeling or compassion for anyone? No desire to let yourself love again and risk the pain that comes with the bitter end? How do you get back to that euphoria without risking a broken heart and broken world and the answer is you can't. So much anger and pain has left a pit inside that clamours for attention only to be filled like it was when the sun was shining and the wind blowing through her hair and the way she looked at you. But nothing seems to fill it. No other woman, no alcohol, no scary movie, no party full of friends. Not even the warm and sexy body of a woman/man who is really into you at the moment. It means nothing because there is no feeling. It's like the heart that pumped the life blood is dead and the body merely survives because it has too for other reasons. I've tried to be honest and try. Try to get back into the world of feelings and the only feelings still vibrant is anger and hate and unfortunately love is nowhere to be found. comparing every woman to your ex? I do and what you are describing fits my situation too. I dont know about you, but i need to stop comparing women to my ex, because as of yet, I havent found a single one who comes close, and thats a load of BS.
cdt76 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I know....Sad part is, I can't look back on my past to find another woman that ever affected me like she did. I don't have the history to draw on that enables the mind to say "I've been here, I've found it once I can do it again". And so I languish. I suffer and though try as I might...the hole is still there.
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