Cheating and Paternity - Men Questions

[A O]

The issue of when/where/how testing is performed is secondary to the issue of whether a man has a right to know and whether his desire to know is an accusation of infidelity.

Worth repeating, especially in light of the posters taking the piss - the same posters who'll have the biggest hissy fits should the 'demand' ever happen to them.

 

This is the kind of thinking that makes people feel that their worries, concerns and fears (as irrational as they may be) are validated by another. the substantive content of the worries is not nearly as important as this feeling of validation, of being acknowledged (rather than beat down) for having a feeling, which in turn stimulates further openness, introspection, self-criticism (as appropriate) and communication, rather than harden a defensive, militant stance. Who lives by the sword, dies by the sword, sorta .

 

Shouting "Dealbreaker!" does nothing but reaffirm the fear "I knew I can't trust you!". On the other hand, admitting that other's feelings are valid (i.e. that they exist, and have the right to exist along with any other emotion - which has nothing to do with whether you actually agree) instantly makes people more willing to critically self-evaluate their behavior and ideas.

Indeed. I'll say again, its never the problem that's the problem but how we deal with it.

 

 

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[Taramere]

 

Yo' homie, you ain't no dad,

But if you is, yo know fo' sho'

 

I like that! I've actually got music playing in my head now, to go along with it. Classical music, though.....which could be a new sort of genre. The bastard child of Lil' Wayne and Charlotte Church, but shall we get it DNA tested to make sho'?

[carhill]

I learned a new phrase: chorionic villus sampling

 

The same site suggests fees from an accredited laboratory to run between 400 and 2000, depending on methodology of test and whether pre or post-natal. I found the part about the husband signing (or refusing to sign) a denial of paternity, in cases where the biological father (other than husband) has signed an AOP, to be quite enlightening.

 

Thanks, LS

[Peaceandlove]

I'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned this before but I read this article once about how women are attracted to really macho men during ovulation and this could lead to them cheating (i know we are not animals but just stating what I read) ,even if its only a one-time thing, and subsequently getting pregnant with another man's child. There was this story of a guy who found out that all three of his children were not his when one of them needed a bone marrow transplant and the whole family got tested

 

Interestingly, a doctor friend of mine told me that in the case when the newborn needs a blood transfusion the doctors are very discreet when it comes to the baby's blood group since that would offer conclusive evidence that the presumed father might not be the actual father (but no conclusive evidence that he actually is). Bear in mind that I am referring to the UK health system. So I think that the whole paternity test thing is not at all far fetched...

[calizaggy]

Hmm..

 

Ladies, let me ask..

 

As is SOOO often the case these days, women might cheat/make a mistake/have sex with an ex/any another man while in a relationship.

 

Now IF a pregnancy occurs, at this point how many women are now going to "come clean" and admit cheating?

[Jersey Shortie]

I've never cheated. But *IF* I was to, and got pregnant, I could not lie to my own child about who their father is. That is two lives you are taking choices away from.