saraxlindsay Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 So my ex and I had a msn convo tonight, it was actually really nice. but there are a few things that I am not to sure about, like how to take them. Like why would he say he found someone new possibly and then 2 seconds later say he is just joking? and then when he tells me to txt him netime and i tell him to do the same he seems like he is all worried that I wont text him and he acts as though he is searching for reassurance that I will txt him? I am kinda confused about those things. Anyway, here is the convo. Me: hey, how are you? Him: good and weird lol no more mohawk Him: lol. ur movin? Me: lol you cut it off? yeah we are moving at the end of the month into a smaller place. I am only moving with parents till I get a job and can afford my own place. Him: good for u Me: Thanks now all i need to do is find a job lol Him: u will in no time Me: I know I applied for like 5 jobs online today and then I am going tomorrow to apply at the dollar store on innes, they are looking for full time Him: wat about ur school Me: I went and met with them about my OSAP, and I am starting back up full time there next month. I will only have to stay one extra month and will still be able to graduate with my class Him: cool Me: for sure! so how'd you get ur hair cut? Him: short Me: cool cool. it must feel so different lol Him: yeah it does lol i feel older loll Me: lol it probably makes you look a little older too, but thats not always a bad thing lol Him: no it aint Me: my sister wants to bring me to my brothers to get my hair done. I am kinda scared lol he usually goes crazy and dyes my hair all kinds of colors. Him: so its an experience, do it ull laugh at it Me: i know lol i know it wont look bad, it'll just be different. Me: so what else is new with you? Him: probably someone new. u? Me: nothing to much really. just happy that everything is starting to get sorted. Him: kk im kidin i dint meet someone else lol Me: lol i didn't know how to reply to it Him: lol i kind of got trouble with that Me: trouble with what? lol Him: finding someone else Me: you shouldn't though. you are a great guy. any girl would be lucky to have you. Him: really Me: i am telling the truth. can i be honest though... i am finding it very hard getting over you..... dont wanna sound like some crazy person though Him: ur not cuz im too Me: u were my first true love, and those feelings are still there, its gonna be real hard getting over that....... Him: i know dat but its for the best......... Me: i know that...gonna take time though. Him: i know Me: we still gotta go to warped tour though lol Him: definitly Me: so how was your weekend? Him: it was fine. gtg text me netime. Me: okay sounds good. you too. txt anytime Him: will yu text me Me: i will Him: i hope so..... Me: of course i will Him: laters Me: buhbyes!
sativo Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Seems to me, he's just look for reassurance that he's still wanted. Since girls don't hit on guys (usually), we often feel alone and unwanted. No one looks at us, approaches us, etc.. and it feels like maybe we're ugly or lost "it" or something. After a while, we started thinking... "hmm, is there something wrong with me?" And sometimes, it's nice going back to an ex who we know still wants us, just to feel wanted. But it's not 'cause we want her or anything. We just want to feel wanted. Not to burst your bubble or anything, but it sounds like that's what he might be doing. You know him better than I... what do you think? Possible? If so, you deserve better than that!
hopesndreams Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 That hurt to read. You are really going about this all the wrong way. He went on a fishing expedition, that's it, that's all. You fed and stroked his ego. Stop. It makes you look weak and needy. Are you trying to get him back? It sure sounds like it. Disappear off the face of the earth to get him to miss you and wonder about you, and if he doesn't, the NC with him will make you stronger to putting him in the past, buried, and moving on with your life.
Author saraxlindsay Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Seems to me, he's just look for reassurance that he's still wanted. Since girls don't hit on guys (usually), we often feel alone and unwanted. No one looks at us, approaches us, etc.. and it feels like maybe we're ugly or lost "it" or something. After a while, we started thinking... "hmm, is there something wrong with me?" And sometimes, it's nice going back to an ex who we know still wants us, just to feel wanted. But it's not 'cause we want her or anything. We just want to feel wanted. Not to burst your bubble or anything, but it sounds like that's what he might be doing. You know him better than I... what do you think? Possible? If so, you deserve better than that! I really don't know, thats the thing. He has never been like that before. Even when we first started talking before we dated, he was never the one to fish for compliments or reassurance. He always acts strong and as though nothing really phases him. He has told his cousin many times (who I am really good friends with) that he misses me, but when we talk he is always very straightforward and the conversation has never really taken this road until tonight. So I am a little confused.
Author saraxlindsay Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 That hurt to read. You are really going about this all the wrong way. He went on a fishing expedition, that's it, that's all. You fed and stroked his ego. Stop. It makes you look weak and needy. Are you trying to get him back? It sure sounds like it. Disappear off the face of the earth to get him to miss you and wonder about you, and if he doesn't, the NC with him will make you stronger to putting him in the past, buried, and moving on with your life. I went NC for 2 weeks, didn't message him, text him, i even deleted him off facebook and then he messaged me tonight. I do want him back, when we broke up it wasn't a bad break up, neither of us came out of it hating or even disliking eachother. We just both have a lot of growing to do and he figured it would be easier if we did it apart. I know some of it made me seem weak and needy, but thats me, thats the way I am, I have always been that way with him, and he used to be the same way back. This break up is still new and I still don't know how to go about it.
sativo Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Well, let me put it this way... If it were up to you, would you guys be together right now? If your answer is yes, then the reason you're not together is 'cause he doesn't want to be together. So when you say you're confused, there's no reason to be. He doesn't want to be together. Sure, he misses you, he hurts, etc.. that all might be true, but the evidence shows that he's not asking you to get back together. If there is a chance for you to get back together, he has to be the one to realize he wants it. The only thing you can do to help with that is NC. NC will help you heal and feel stronger (especially if you truly set your sights on moving on and living without him forever) and it might get him to realize what he lost. But letting him know you miss him, you love him, etc.. is only gonna let him know you're still there... waiting... and available -- in case his other options don't work out. Not cool!
threebyfate Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Him: i know dat but its for the best......... sara, this is the only line that matters. The rest is just static. Repeat that line to yourself, over and over again. Don't stay in touch. You need time away to strengthen, break the ties that bind, and finally, to move on.
mmk1 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Unless he says he was wrong and wants to try again, none of this matters, unfortuantely. Just stop responding. I told my ex that we either needed to work on getting back together or go NC. She said let's just be friends and so I went NC. NC has saved me pain and it will save you pain as well.
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