sagetalk Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 That is why you find out what the other person feels about divorce/faithfulness before you get too serious (thinking of marriage). If it's not a big deal to them you better run for your life. Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a commitment to each other as well. People tend to forget that last part.
Yamaha Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a commitment to each other as well. Amen to that brother......
Ruby Slippers Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a commitment to each other as well. People tend to forget that last part. Yes. My personal definition of love that I have arrived at after years of research (haha) is that love = mutual commitment to support each other fully in life, through the good and the bad. Before that, it's lust and infatuation. Now, I'm all for lust and infatuation. But real love is what comes after. I think this is why so many people say they never really understood love until they had a child. Just to survive, your child requires your complete commitment through good and bad. No parent feels like changing poopy diapers every day. But they do it because they are giving real love. Any decent parent learns very quickly what it really means to love. As for the laundry list, I have my own, but it's reasonably short and to the point. It's healthy to know what your boundaries are and stick to them. I'm not going to make the enormous commitment to love just anyone.
Els Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Love always has been priority, to me. But as we all know, love isn't unconditional. It depends on what sort of laundry list a person has, I guess. 'Must be above 6', must be muscular, must drive a Ferrari' or 'Must be an 8 or above, must be below 110 lbs' - now that is just shallow and sad. However, for some of us, the 'laundry list' is perhaps what it takes to maintain love. For instance, one of mine - 'Must be honest and faithful'. Now, if a person I was with became dishonest and unfaithful, I don't think I could love him anymore. So love and certain requirements aren't independent of one another.
Author AD1980 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 However, for some of us, the 'laundry list' is perhaps what it takes to maintain love. For instance, one of mine - 'Must be honest and faithful'. Now, if a person I was with became dishonest and unfaithful, I don't think I could love him anymore. So love and certain requirements aren't independent of one another. Of course those are important by laundry list i meant more shallow things
aerogurl87 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 "Love" got me my ex boyfriend who was mentally and emotionally abusive. I think practicality will get me a loving husband who I will admire and actually want to start a life with and live out my days with.
make me believe Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I think the problem isn't that people are too picky, it's that people are too selfish and unwilling to compromise. Everybody wants somebody who matches up perfectly to them, and god forbid you are the type of person to leave your socks on the floor or WW3 will errupt!! I also think that relationships are far too casual/disposable nowadays, and I think the high rates of cohabitation reflect this. People want to live together while it benefits them personally, but as soon as it gets a little hard they are out the door. At least LOVE, if you truly love the person and aren't marrying them for the butterflies they give you, will last beyond petty disagreements and differences. People should be adding "communication skills" and "willingness to compromise" to their laundry lists. Not "makes X amount of money per year" and "likes basketball."
threebyfate Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Love always has been priority, to me. But as we all know, love isn't unconditional. It depends on what sort of laundry list a person has, I guess. 'Must be above 6', must be muscular, must drive a Ferrari' or 'Must be an 8 or above, must be below 110 lbs' - now that is just shallow and sad.Pfffttt....if it's not a Challenge Stradale or an F430, forget it! Not all Ferraris are created equal!
espec10001 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I believe that love does exist but there are no outlets or venues to meet the special person. I am sure there are TONS of women out there that I would absolutely love, but meeting them is the hard part. And I'm sure it is the same way for women.
flc Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I think Love is probably the most difficult emotion to define and different people associate different feelings with being in love. So even two people who are 'in love' with each may really have different feelins for each other. For me love is coming to a point with another person where having them in your life makes your life richer and when they are not with you, you feel a loss. This is true with my GF and with my kids. In addition to love though I have strong sexual desire for my GF which you might define as passion. So for a mate I need to have both passion and love.
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