Guys turn into jerks as soon as you don't give them what you want?

[yume]

A discussable topic.

 

I just broke up with my ex for the second time now and once again he's reverted back to the ******* behaviour I experienced the first time we broke up.

 

I can't really understand how he could have been the great person he was when he was with me, and then as soon as things change, he's a....bleeper. Big time. Is it just him as an individual or are all guys like this?

[LucreziaBorgia]

I don't know that they are changing so much as revealing a part of themselves that is usually hidden when they are showing you their 'A' game. The way they react when they don't get their way is a pretty good marker of their character in general.

[unsaved]

Did I read that correctly? You broke up with him for the second time and you don't know why he's acting like an ********* about it? I mean, isn't it obvious? He got dumped and he's mad about it.

 

I mean, I guess I don't know your story, why you two broke up, or just HOW he's being a jerk. But people tend to do crazy things and things uncharacteristic of who they really are when they get broken up with. He's upset. Don't judge him for that. Let him cool down and leave him alone for awhile.

[onedayatatyme]

From my point of view as a guy waiting to be dumped by his wife of 7 years. I'm here working on my relationship and working my tail off to meet her halfway and smooth things over. If she files for divorce, certainly she will see a different side of me. If she files, there won't be much reason for me to meet her halfway on anything anymore will there?

 

In my case, it probably won't have anything at all to do with vengence or bitterness, I will just remove the selfless love I am demonstrating now and it will be all about what's best for me and my kids at that point.

[yume]

I'm confused, did he turn into a jerk and that's why you broke up, or you broke up and he became a jerk?

 

If it's the latter, what's the problem?

 

The problem is that it's irritating. I'm not hanging on to him or anything, but it's driving me nuts, because he's going back and forth with telling me that we can be friends, we can't, we can talk, we can't talk, he needs separation, and now he's just texted me saying we can talk.

 

Understand the irritation?

 

isn't it obvious? He got dumped and he's mad about it.

 

I know.

[monkeymaid]

ive done that before. ...he thinks his confidence is up enough to go through the process of getting you back (lunch, hang out, dinner, date, reconciliation), then when he isnt getting results right awway, he gets frustrated/emotional/scared and runs for cover.

 

he needs time to really calm himself. and you probably do too. u left him, if you want him back, you better let him know AND kiss his ass for a while. ...if you dont want him back, leave him alone, dont answer his messages/calls etc...and respect that he is severly hemmorhaging from his heart right now and that takes time to mend. people do crazy **** for love.

Edited March 9, 2010 by monkeymaid

[skydiveaddict]

A discussable topic.

 

I just broke up with my ex for the second time now and once again he's reverted back to the ******* behaviour I experienced the first time we broke up.

 

I can't really understand how he could have been the great person he was when he was with me, and then as soon as things change, he's a....bleeper. Big time. Is it just him as an individual or are all guys like this?

 

all guys are like this. I don't know what you expect. He cant go from being in love w/you to just being "friends" overnight.