bucky112 Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Hey first time using this forum so hopefully you can be of some use to me :0 Ive been seeing this girl now for 'offically' 1 month (yes i know its not long) we've seen each many times and we got on really well, now heres the problem im almost certain she still has a thing for her ex, she is always and i mean always talking about him and at first i could tolerate it but now its really really annoying me, ive spoke to her about it and she insists she just has freind feelings for him she only split up with this guy maybe 2 months ago so im getting the feeling im a rebound and nothing more. She also tells me 'oh if i go out and kiss my guy freinds it means nothing' another point im not too happy about. She is incredably good looking and i think thats the only reason im tolerating it, stupid i know! It seems at the moment she'd rather spend time with freinds than me hmmmmmm I do have feelings for her and generally enjoy spending time with her but i really dont want to get to attached becuase im sure im going to get hurt, although i wouldnt enjoy it i feel if i ended it now i could save myself heart ache in the long run. Am i being paranoid and reading too much into things or is it time to let this one go??? Any advice would be greatly appricated. Thanks for your time:)
Fouts Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 You answered all of your own questions. Yes, you're just a sounding board for her. I wouldn't even consider it a rebound, as rebounds usually at least get good sex in return Be smart, distance yourself. Or if she has some cute friends, use her to network and get to know them
D-Lish Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 She also tells me 'oh if i go out and kiss my guy freinds it means nothing' Really? She actually said this? That's not okay. I think you have two big red flags with all the talk about the ex and disclosing she is probably going to make out with her guy friends. You've told her the ex talk bothers you and she has dismissed your feelings. That alone would be a deal breaker for me. This girl sounds like a handful of trouble and then some...
Ruby Slippers Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 She sounds like a prime candidate for sex only. Definitely do not invest in this person. She sounds incredibly self-centered and immature. You kissing her butt because you find her attractive isn't going to get you anywhere. It's just ego stroking for her. Do you wanna be just another chump? Then stand in line.
Author bucky112 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Well after a long hard think i decided to phone her and basically say that this isnt how i imagined it would be and i dont want to get to attached since i feel you've deffiantly got some issues you need to get sorted. She agreed and disagreed like i expected, but she insists she really likes me but doesnt want to hurt me by stringing me along, now i expected to say our goodbyes and be done ! instead she really wants to see me like we orginally planned so we can talk face to face. I suggested somewhere neturel like a coffee shop or relaxed cafe, but shes insisted she wants to come to my house and watch a movie together i live about 35mins from her so its not like its just down the road, now im really confused if she wanted to end it right there the phone would of been perfect or even the cafe i suggested, but to come all the way to my empty house seems a little odd, so now instead of trying to get rid of her im thinking about trying to talk things out and make it work. maybe just trying to get sex from her as crude as it is, is the only thing thats please us both.....
Confusedguy81 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 If you have to ask that question, then it's obvious something is up.
Author bucky112 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Yep your probally right, i generally do have feelings for her although there very mixed at the moment, one side of me wants to end it right this second, the other wants me to so try and make it work, emotions over logic tbh. She has been texting me saying good morning hope you have a great day etc etc. it seems since the converstation shes become closer than before rather than distance herself like i expected
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