squirtle Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 hey guys. i am having a huge issue right now. last week my boyfriend and i had a big problem. we were both on a dating site and i decided to delete my account since i was with him. when i went on to delete it, his account popped up saying he was single and that he had been on that day. i was very upset. i avoided him for a couple of days to cool down and then brought up the issue. he is denying using it and deleted the account. i can accept this because i care about him a lot and want to move past this. ever since this happened though he is acting different. he tells me he wants to be with me and i believe this casue for the whole time i was avoiding him he was trying to find out what was wrong and prove himself. but the first time we were together after this happened it was really awkward. i went over to watch a movie and we laughed and stuff like normal but the next day he was very quiet and wouldnt tell me what was wrong. i couldnt take it anymore so i asked him and he kept saying i dont know. all he would say was he didnt feel this way before and it upset him with the whole trust thing and he doesnt feel the same being around me because of it. i told him i forgive him and i think that should be enough. he even said that when we had sex, that the "spark" wasn't there like it was before. this hurt me a lot. he is having a lot of stress placed on him right now with school and not really having any money for gas etc because he had a big payment to make. i told him upfront that if he doesnt want to be with me to just tell me. that if i dont make him happy just tell me and not leave me in the dark or put me on the back burner. it just seems like me bringing up the whole trust issue is just another form of stress for him but i HAD to bring it up. i dont want to lose him but i dont know what to do. should i ask him again what he wants .. does he just need space or what. i am so confused!! he also told me this is the first relationship he has had in many years that actually means anything and he has to think about. but i dont know what he has to think about! i want to be with him cause he makes me happy but now i dont know if i am doing the same for him. is this something that can be worked around or should i just throw in the towel. please help! thanks in advance
Author squirtle Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 PS i dont understand how withing a matter of a couple of days and a fight he would say that the spark isnt there anymore. its normal for couples to have issues and work over them but i dont understand how this issue could make him feel like this unless he is feeling guilty or something.
Author squirtle Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 can someone please say something! this is really bothering me and i dont know what to think
GrayClouds Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 (edited) he is denying using it and deleted the account. i can accept this because i care about him a lot and want to move past this. This is how wonderful women ruin good chunks of their lives with not so wonderful men. it upset him with the whole trust thing and he doesnt feel the same being around me because of it. i told him i forgive him and i think that should be enough. he even said that when we had sex, that the "spark" wasn't there like it was before. He got caught being a dog and now he is trying to turn it around and make you feel bad for his behavior. It is immature at best manipulative at worst. does he just need space or what. Needing space it just another way of saying "I want to be with others" i am so confused No your not, you just do not want to face the truth. This guy just is not that into you but you are wanting so bad to make it work, your will to put up with it. he also told me this is the first relationship he has had in many years that actually means anything and he has to think about. but i dont know what he has to think about! WHY has it been the first in along while? The guy can not or unwilling to commit. If he was ready to and if it did mean anything to him he would not be fishing on line for some bass on the side. And he got stress, well sister we all do, it is called life. i want to be with him cause he makes me happy This behavior of his makes you happy? That is sad, girl stop rushing your crushes. There is time and much better men out there who will actually want to be with you, care about your feelings, and give you the respect you deserve. But you will not find that person until you give yourself the respect you deserve and walk away for these guy. There are worst things then being single, and this guy is one of them. Good Luck and be kind to yourself. . Edited March 10, 2010 by GrayClouds
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