Author Marek Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Also if it's any consolation, most people have been bullied at least once in their lives. Hmm, not much of a consolation; most people don't get bullied for their ENTIRE lives... haha, oh well. I'm not looking for sympathy; I was looking for answers as to why people can be so callous. If this keeps up a few more years I'll become a certified misanthropist. Thanks for the comments, everyone. But it seems like this board is full of kind-hearted, empathic souls...
Author Marek Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Their behavior was not acceptable..... What age were they? I'm just wondering if it is behavior of certain age groups because I don't know anyone, male or female, who would be openly mean like that. What city, if I may ask? I think there are so many regional differences across this country - there are places where people are still nice. They were in their early 20s. And I live in Adelaide, Australia. (I feel shunned where ever I go, however.)
Bejita463 Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 So you're not vain? Never said I wasn't. The song reference was intended to inject a little humor. I don't see how a little vanity is a bad thing. If you do not love yourself, how is anyone else going to? I'm 26 years old. I've endured such malicious harrassment throughout my these 26 years. Imagine going to work, being out in public, EVERY DAY and having people, both men and women, utter words such as "c*cksucker", "dog", "faggot", "retard", etc., under their breath -- every day. I'm only posting one particular incident, however it happens EVERY day. Tell me how it still makes you feel "confident" and "awesome". THIS IS A LIFE-LONG issue for me. I'm not in high school anymore (yet people have not matured). Every day complete strangers are doing this? Really? People can be pretty screwed up, but I'll admit I have trouble fitting that inside my head. Even the jerks I had to endure in the military weren't completely unpleasant to be around all of the time. That boggles my mind. Do people where you live treat each other this way as a matter of course, or are you some kind of special case?
Ross PK Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Their behavior was not acceptable..... What age were they? I'm just wondering if it is behavior of certain age groups because I don't know anyone, male or female, who would be openly mean like that. What city, if I may ask? I think there are so many regional differences across this country - there are places where people are still nice. People who do this will usually be in their teens to early 20's. There are people who did it where I lived, and there are people who do it where I live now.
troggleputty Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 What's with women who see fit to abuse men in public? Example: Today, I was walking to a café after work and I pass these two bitches. As I walked past one says to the other, "God, he looks like a fag". And both proceed to chuckle. I had a good mind to yell out "stupid, ugly wh*res" as I heard their laughter. Alas, I was too weak, once again. This abuse from some women has been happening all too often lately. I guess my question is directed at the women on here. That question is this: How many of you broads actively abuse guys as you don't even know? Well, to start with, these women were openly homophobic, with absolutely no shame about publicly expressing their homophobia. No different than if say they had walked by someone and publicly said, "Gee do you think that person has any "Negro" in their blood?" or if they were walking past a blind person and laughed at them and tripped them. The women you are talking about are basically lower than dirt and you shouldn't waste any time thinking about it. There are unfortunately people like that around. You absolutely did the right thing by not sinking to their level.
Ross PK Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Never said I wasn't. The song reference was intended to inject a little humor. I don't see how a little vanity is a bad thing. If you do not love yourself, how is anyone else going to? Okay sorry about that. I didn't realise you were joking, I thought you were having a go at him.
Bejita463 Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Okay sorry about that. I didn't realise you were joking, I thought you were having a go at him. Friendly ribbing. It wasn't intended to offend. I apologize if it did, however.
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 They were in their early 20s. And I live in Adelaide, Australia. (I feel shunned where ever I go, however.) I think it's global that far too many younger women and men just don't have good manners, respect, nor consideration for their fellow man. I think it's a result of a "me" society and poor parenting. I know it may sound empty, but people who are compelled to hurt others are very unhappy with themselves. I usually confront someone who I believe has been rude to me by saying "excuse me" and wait for their reply. Usually they will say "I didn't say anything." I think you should respond in the future as it will empower you. You will see how weak and pathetic these type of people are.
Ross PK Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I think it's global that far too many younger women and men just don't have good manners, respect, nor consideration for their fellow man. I think it's a result of a "me" society and poor parenting. I know it may sound empty, but people who are compelled to hurt others are very unhappy with themselves. I usually confront someone who I believe has been rude to me by saying "excuse me" and wait for their reply. Usually they will say "I didn't say anything." I think you should respond in the future as it will empower you. You will see how weak and pathetic these type of people are. I totally agree. Saying something back will definatley empower him and make him feel better (probably about himself too). It's well known that not standing up for yourself leads to lower self esteem.
carhill Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I was looking for answers as to why people can be so callous. Pretty simple: Their world is small and they fill it completely. Be thankful there is no room in there for you. BTW, though I found Adelaide to be a quite friendly place, I'm well aware of Aussie's propensity for cutting down 'tall poppies' to size with zeal and aplomb. Would you characterize the young ladies as such? Sounds like they were ripe for a mow-down
Jersey Shortie Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I totally agree with Txsilkysmoothe 110%. Marek, if you fight these situations with anger and hostility, you are only going to feel more anger and hostility. While I can understand your hurt, you have to learn to deal with the situation in a way that doesn't give yourself over to them. Calling them names back is giving yourself over to them and stooping just as low. And you might feel good in the moment, but you don't have any real power in the situation. I don't treat people with respect only because they are nice to me. I treat everyone like they are a human being. No matter their own actions. Doesn't mean I agree with them, like them or even respect them. But they deserve to be treated as a human, even if they don't treat others as human beings. Have you ever heard of Jackie Robinson? The first African American baseball player. He was an AMAZING man. People use to call him foul names and spit on him when he came on the field. And he didn't fight back with anger and hate. He just came on the field, played the game, totally succeded and is one of the most respected men of our times. Please read about him. People of both genders can be cruel. Men equally as women. I am quite petite. I remember this one situation where I was buying some new clothes in Macys. There was an African American woman behind the counter that said to me: "Daaamn, how tall are you?" It wasn't what she asked so much how she asked it and the fact that she was a complete stranger. The way she asked was both intrusive and rude. I just said to her: "How much do you weight?" She made a face and said: " I don't think I am fat." And I said:" You aren't fat at all. You're beautiful. But if you think it's okay to ask me personal questions about myself, can I not do the same?" The other girls behind the counter giggled. I made my point. And I wasn't rude. What I learned though that these things happen to everyone, albiet varying degrees. Even good looking "normal" people are hit with injustices of treatment. Work on being proud of who you are. Even fake it if you don't feel it. You will be amazed what an air of confidence can do and how people treat you for it. You would also be amazed about how people really feel about themselves in the dark recesses of their mind that you would never know from face value. People who treat others like those girls treated you, do not feel good about themselves. You should feel sorry for them. Not angry. Their opinion shouldn't matter enough to make you angry.
befreckled Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Do they matter to you, to your life? Not really, I'd guess. They are superficial creatures who felt that they needed to justify their existence by poking fun at you. I firmly believe that words have the power only if you give it to them. otherwise, sticks and stones honey.
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