Pfiend101 Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I have been dating this girl exclusively for a couple months. We nearly broke up then decided to work things out. The other night she told me she was at a party and this guy kept trying to get with her. Later on that night she told me she got invited to a party where that guy was gonna be. I told her I didnt want her to go there if he was there. I am trying to communicate my feelings here and have had past relationships fail due to my poor communication skills. We are only seeing each other once a week right now. I told her that I'm not trying to crowd her and we both have our own lives but once a week just isnt enough for me. I should also note that sex has decreased in frequency granted we are both living at home right now so its kinda hard to find a good moment. I want this relationship to succeed. I really like her and dont want to lose her. It also seems that when I have been trying to go out with her lately an excuse comes up often from her why she cant. If we dont have sex this week I'm going to have to bring it up. My self confidence is being lowered as I feel she isnt attracted to me as much as I am to her. I trust her however with past experiences my mind goes right to "she must be getting it somewhere else". Is it unreasonable of me to want sex more than once a month? However I feel we are both in different stages in life. She seems to be in party mode and I had to quit drinking due to its destructive consequences in my own life. She is 19 and I am 23. Any advice is welcome and appreciated. Thank you.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 I should also add. My ex really f'ed with my head and I think I have some trust issues from our relationship. I know this girl isnt my ex. How do I work around that?
boogieboy Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Sex is out of the question, she doesnt want to continue this relationship. She already showed you that she doesnt want anything serious with you. She is making excuses to NOT see you, means she is shopping for someone else. You already lost her, just let her go now, theres nothing you can do. Worse that that, the more you try to hang with her, the faster you push her away. You already told her what you want. Your best bet is to stop contacting her, and let her contact you. When she does, you make a date to get together and thats it. BTW it sounds like youre pressuring her for more sex, she will think thats all you want her for once a week. So you should communicate thats not all you want. If that doesnt work, then back off.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 (edited) Aren't I supposed to contact her? I'm her boyfriend and communication is so important. If I act like I don't care what does that say about me, that I'm just about games? I definitely am not. I should have also said the excuses have only happened a few times and seemed legit. Maybe I f'ed up another relationship already. Edited March 8, 2010 by Pfiend101
DustySaltus Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Aren't I supposed to contact her? I'm her boyfriend and communication is so important. If I act like I don't care what does that say about me, that I'm just about games? I definitely am not. I should have also said the excuses have only happened a few times and seemed legit. Maybe I f'ed up another relationship already. I think that you should let your feelings be known and disappear for a while. Let her come to you. We ALL F up relationships. You can't expect a 19 year old girl to know how to communicate and act maturely. All you can control is your OWN actions. This isn't your fault. Just learn from it just as you learned to try and communicate better from previous relationships.
Green Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 My advice is you have to communicate and make sure she understands you. The first step is making sure she understands you. As the man I think it is your job to listen to her and understand her before you try to figure out what to do next. First it is great that you stopped drinking alcohol. Is there any way you can go to the parties with her? I mean its fun to go to a party as a couple and you'd be less paranoid of the guy because you would also be there. Also if you are only seeing her once a week... and are having sex once every 2 or 3 weeks.... well thats alot of sex for the ammount of time you are seeing her. Girls don't want to feel like sluts. You make girls feel like sluts if you spend most of the time just having sex. Maybe if you saw her 3 or 4 times a week you would definetly get sex once a week. Also girls really like romance and cute sht. If you care about your woman you will find a way to do cute romantic sht for her. It can be as easy as writing something on her facebook wall... its the little things that count.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 she wants to sit down over coffee and talk. Its probably over. She said "it has nothing to do with you - its all me and my feelings". I told her thats girl talk for theres another guy. Im not an idiot. I just dropped a necklace around her neck to show her I'm real. This ****in sucks.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 So we are meeting for coffee tomorrow. Whats best to do if she wants to break up? Act like I dont give a damn? I definitely wont beg to keep her.
MalachiX Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 So we are meeting for coffee tomorrow. Whats best to do if she wants to break up? Act like I dont give a damn? I definitely wont beg to keep her. Personally, I would avoid being overly emotional if she's breaking up with you. Try to leave the relationship with your head held high. It's OK to tell her that you're disapointed (though not much good) but it's not a good idea to start insulting her or yelling no matter how much you feel victimized. Personally, if I were in your place, I'd ask seriously but un-emotionally if there was someone else but this probably isn't the healthiest thing to do since I don't know if you can be un-emotional if you find out she likes this other guy. Prolly best just to let it go and move on.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 just broke up. She gave the necklace back I just bought her. Said she didnt know why. So I told her that it didnt work for me because of the communication and that you cant have any kind of meaningful relationship seeing eachother only once a week. Told her I didnt want to be friends. That was it.
boogieboy Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 just broke up. She gave the necklace back I just bought her. Said she didnt know why. So I told her that it didnt work for me because of the communication and that you cant have any kind of meaningful relationship seeing eachother only once a week. Told her I didnt want to be friends. That was it. Good boy. If she calls, dont answer. She might want to try to get over you by stringing you along. You might never find out the reason she lost interest in you, but dont ever talk to her again. DOnt let her worm her way to you so she feels better, it will only help her get over you faster. let her suffer.
Author Pfiend101 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 I wonder if giving her the necklace brought up some guilt she had about something. Didnt even ask for it back and she gave it to me. oh well, 400$ back in my pocket.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I wonder if giving her the necklace brought up some guilt she had about something. Didnt even ask for it back and she gave it to me. oh well, 400$ back in my pocket. $400? are you kidding me? You should be glad you got the necklace back. Couple of months does not even warrant you to buy her such an expensive gift. Next time, if you have to buy someone a gift proceed with more caution, such as are they worth it in the first place. Now go look for your receipt.
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