XKatieX Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 (edited) I posted on here a while back when it ended the first time, after a month of NC we tried things out for a while and slowly worked our way back together (this was back in December of last year) We didn't seem to be fighting as much until recently I had gotten in a bad mood, and acted a bit immaturely. I told him I was just ina bad mood, and that I was sorry for it..hes says its just an excuse, and told me hes been hanging out with friends and having a good time. All the while hes still putting me down, saying things like you have no friends, no job, and you think you need to lose weight..and laughing at me, saying have fun taking meds just so you can be sane. I don't want him back, oh hell no I dont..I just can't believe how much things have changed in the past 3 years we were together. It went from an incredible relationship to now, but I haven't changed as much..he is the one that has changed. I used to be able to talk to him about anything, and he would be there for me. He would not say bad things about me, he would always make me feel better. In the past 3 years, I've ALWAYS been there for him and I have not once criticized him or make him feel bad about himself. Not only has this man made me feel like total ****, I can't believe I wasted my time on him..I can't believe I still care about him, and that I can't shake him off. I have to try and forget about him, the hardest part will be trying to forget about what he used to be and think about how hes treated me in the past 1.5 years. Hes changed, hes not the way he used to be, and I have to hold that with me. Edited March 8, 2010 by XKatieX
yume Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 It's hard to get over feelings for someone, I know exactly how you feel. It takes a little while to realise that though you thought he was good for you initially, now you have things that tell you he wasn't at all. I just broke up with my ex for the second time, and I know I made the right decision. It helped me to write down all the things I didn't like about him, or the doubts I was having. If you do that, it'll remind you that he had a lot of faults, and there are reasons behind ending your relationship. Everyone deserves to be treated kindly and with respect, especially if you're giving that out. Unfortunately sometimes it so happens that people treat us like crap and we don't know why. You said yourself he made you feel like ****. There's a reason not to linger. Focus on yourself for a while. Sure, reminisce a little, mull things over, but don't obsess. You seem to be recognizing it's over, so that's a step. It's a slow process, but you'll get through it eventually.
Author XKatieX Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Yes..you know how im feeling right now, thinking you know someone, and then findingout who they really are. I still blame myself for most of it. Not for how things turned out, but for me not leaving him a long time ago. I should have left after he told me that he didn't care about me and had zero feelings for me, that should have been the point where I put my foot down and never returned. Since being with him, I have not gone with friends and met people, I spent my entire time doing things that made him happy and worrying about whether they wouldn't make him happy. I've become a complete recluse because of him. Whereas if I had more respect for myself and left when had no respect for me I could have gotten my left back together by now.
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