aerogurl87 Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Ok, so I've been talking to this new guy for like a month or so. In about 3 months I'm supposed to be going up to Canada to meet him. But something is going on inside of me, I don't know what it is though. I like him alot, we talk all the time, and he actually puts effort into making time for me. But I feel something inside of me, and I can't quite put my finger on it. I know I'm falling for him, but I don't know a part of me is holding back and this little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering "it's not gonna work". Don't know why, I mean he's a great guy and he treats me good. I just can't quite put my finger on it but something is amiss here, or maybe I'm just scared again....
nowomanocry Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Ok, so I've been talking to this new guy for like a month or so. In about 3 months I'm supposed to be going up to Canada to meet him. But something is going on inside of me, I don't know what it is though. I like him alot, we talk all the time, and he actually puts effort into making time for me. But I feel something inside of me, and I can't quite put my finger on it. I know I'm falling for him, but I don't know a part of me is holding back and this little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering "it's not gonna work". Don't know why, I mean he's a great guy and he treats me good. I just can't quite put my finger on it but something is amiss here, or maybe I'm just scared again.... Hello Aerogurl Is this the guy you were talking about in my thread? The guy that lives up north?
Flavour Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Listen to your guts...do not be too giving....ask something also.....be very, very careful with relationships online...please....guard your heart. It is precious.
Ecosse Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Do you simply think that LDRs dont work? (because they can) Its a popular misconception... read about LDRs, spend some time and think if it is for you
Author aerogurl87 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Hello Aerogurl Is this the guy you were talking about in my thread? The guy that lives up north? No it's not my ex, thank god *cringe* Listen to your guts...do not be too giving....ask something also.....be very, very careful with relationships online...please....guard your heart. It is precious. The thing is my heart is saying to go for it and my head is saying "I'm not sure if this is going to work". And I think the only reason my head is saying that is because of my experience with my ex boyfriend whom I was in a LDR with. Do you simply think that LDRs dont work? (because they can) Its a popular misconception... read about LDRs, spend some time and think if it is for you I've been reading through the forum on LDRs that have worked and/or are working. Which has been helping me alot. I know they can work if both people are committed to making the relationship work, and I've been in one before so I know the highs and lows that come with them. But my LDR I had involved being in differing states and not different countries, which is what is worrying me a little bit more I guess. Anyway I'm going to keep moving forward with things, and see how things go when I go to see him in about 3 months.
Chitowngirl Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 No it's not my ex, thank god *cringe* The thing is my heart is saying to go for it and my head is saying "I'm not sure if this is going to work". And I think the only reason my head is saying that is because of my experience with my ex boyfriend whom I was in a LDR with. I've been reading through the forum on LDRs that have worked and/or are working. Which has been helping me alot. I know they can work if both people are committed to making the relationship work, and I've been in one before so I know the highs and lows that come with them. But my LDR I had involved being in differing states and not different countries, which is what is worrying me a little bit more I guess. Anyway I'm going to keep moving forward with things, and see how things go when I go to see him in about 3 months. Be careful about the different countries..that is what my LDR guy did with his ex wife. He lives in the US and she was in BC. He married her after 5 months b/c otherwise she had to go back to canada and couldn't come back for awhile. 1.5 yrs later they separated and now almost divorced. He rushed into it and regretted it. Be prepared that might happen to you if you think you're in love.
Author aerogurl87 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Be careful about the different countries..that is what my LDR guy did with his ex wife. He lives in the US and she was in BC. He married her after 5 months b/c otherwise she had to go back to canada and couldn't come back for awhile. 1.5 yrs later they separated and now almost divorced. He rushed into it and regretted it. Be prepared that might happen to you if you think you're in love. 5 months is wayyyy too soon to marry someone. But thanks for the story Chitowngirl. I'd wait at least a year dating someone local before getting engaged and at least 2 -3 years before getting engaged if in a LDR. Love can be blind, but my common sense does kick in when it comes to making life altering decisions.
nowomanocry Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Be careful about the different countries..that is what my LDR guy did with his ex wife. He lives in the US and she was in BC. He married her after 5 months b/c otherwise she had to go back to canada and couldn't come back for awhile. 1.5 yrs later they separated and now almost divorced. He rushed into it and regretted it. Be prepared that might happen to you if you think you're in love. So true! A relationship is not honeymoon all the time... It has its ups and downs.. When it comes to a point where you start with all that bureaucracy, you know bills, moving homes, visas and rent etc. than the going starts to get tough! ... AND when the shiat hits the fan, some stand and some run away.
Author aerogurl87 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 So true! A relationship is not honeymoon all the time... It has its ups and downs.. When it comes to a point where you start with all that bureaucracy, you know bills, moving homes, visas and rent etc. than the going starts to get tough! ... AND when the shiat hits the fan, some stand and some run away. I almost got to the "let's get this ball rolling and start thinking of how we're going to close the distance" stage with my ex, but he ran off to be with someone else. Also I know the highs and lows associated with being in a LDR. I know what it's like to cry when I realize that we only have one more day together and I'm unsure of when the next that will happen will be. I've experienced it and so has the guy I'm talking to. So we both pretty much know what we're getting ourselves into, minus the problems with being outside each other's country's borders. But hey, he's in Canada and I'm in the USA so I'm hoping it won't be that bad....
Ecosse Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Its Canada not Bhutan... Outside of a little more paperwork its not really all that far There are a few ppl here that are in LDRs with their SO in Canada (eh) If you are both up for it and you think it is worth it I would go for it... Id like to give you some more advise but IMO this is a pretty personal decision that no one but you can make... I know this isnt much help but it is the reality of the situation
Rollercoasterr Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Mathew and I are another Canada/US couple. While it's frustrating to have to go through all the immigration crap to be together(it's CANADA, afterall!) he's so worth it. It's like a so close, yet so far kind of thing. Except that technically, he IS 15 hours away from me. LDR's work if you want them to. They don't if you don't. No matter what the circumstances are, if you truly wish for your LDR to be successful, it will. Of course, things can and will happen along the way, and some of them are out of your control, but most of them can be overcome.
Author aerogurl87 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 (edited) Its Canada not Bhutan... Outside of a little more paperwork its not really all that far There are a few ppl here that are in LDRs with their SO in Canada (eh) If you are both up for it and you think it is worth it I would go for it... Id like to give you some more advise but IMO this is a pretty personal decision that no one but you can make... I know this isnt much help but it is the reality of the situation Yep, he's a Canadian and I love his slight accent that he claims he doesn't have, lol. I do think it's worth it because he's such a sweet guy and we get along so well. But I'm going to make sure the chemistry is as good (or better) in person as it is online before I make any major decisions. Mathew and I are another Canada/US couple. While it's frustrating to have to go through all the immigration crap to be together(it's CANADA, afterall!) he's so worth it. It's like a so close, yet so far kind of thing. Except that technically, he IS 15 hours away from me. LDR's work if you want them to. They don't if you don't. No matter what the circumstances are, if you truly wish for your LDR to be successful, it will. Of course, things can and will happen along the way, and some of them are out of your control, but most of them can be overcome. Yeah that's how I feel, it's like he's right across the border, argh! But he's also a 7 hour plane ride and a 5 hour bus ride away. But I do think (or at least hope) this trip will be worth it. I guess I'll report back in about 3 months and tell everyone how my first visit goes. EDIT: Oh yeah, rollercoasterr I think I read in another thread that you're engaged to your SO, so CONGRATS!!! Edited March 10, 2010 by aerogurl87
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