Exit Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Got dumped April last year. Relationship was only 1.5 years long but it almost killed me to lose her. Chased after her for a few months but since then have had literally no contact. I was doing alright. Actually dated someone else for 3 months just recently. I did NOT go into that relationship thinking I still missed my ex, I thought I was 100% ready. But it seems like since that quick relationship ended, I'm not missing that girl, I'm back to missing my ex. Suddenly in the last week or two I'm back to having dreams about her, random things I see during the day tear at my heart and practically make me cry. It's close to a year later. None of the "you're putting her on a pedestal" stuff from the initial shock really applies anymore. I honestly miss that girl and know that I really loved her. I've come to realize that in my life since the break-up I haven't come close to the level of happiness I used to feel just to see her car pull up in front of my house or watch TV with her. It's pretty depressing. I've been going out with friends, I just recently joined a gym instead of just working out at home (which has been a great change), I still go on dating sites sometimes. None of it makes me feel any better. Sure, you could say it's just because I haven't met anyone else I really like yet, so it's easy to keep thinking about her. I guess so. But I also know that it won't be easy to find someone I like as much as I liked her. Not expecting any magical solutions from anyone, just venting. I miss you A....
Chitowngirl Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Aw..I know how you feel. Once I broke up with a guy I dated after my ex, I missed my ex insanely, and didn't miss the recent bf at all. Keep dating...it will get better.. But what is keeping you from dating your ex again?
mickleb Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Hey Exit. So sorry to hear you're blue. You did such a good job of turning yourself around a few months ago. You can do it again. Carry on doing everything that felt good, last time round. I'm so pleased to hear you've joined a public gym. That connection to other people can be very successful with reinforcing you are doing yourself a good deed, eh? Did you do any therapy, read any books that helped you out mentally with all of this? (You'll have to refresh my memory - sorry ) Glad you posted to let us know how things are. x
nowomanocry Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Got dumped April last year. Relationship was only 1.5 years long but it almost killed me to lose her. Chased after her for a few months but since then have had literally no contact. I was doing alright. Actually dated someone else for 3 months just recently. I did NOT go into that relationship thinking I still missed my ex, I thought I was 100% ready. But it seems like since that quick relationship ended, I'm not missing that girl, I'm back to missing my ex. Suddenly in the last week or two I'm back to having dreams about her, random things I see during the day tear at my heart and practically make me cry. It's close to a year later. None of the "you're putting her on a pedestal" stuff from the initial shock really applies anymore. I honestly miss that girl and know that I really loved her. I've come to realize that in my life since the break-up I haven't come close to the level of happiness I used to feel just to see her car pull up in front of my house or watch TV with her. It's pretty depressing. I've been going out with friends, I just recently joined a gym instead of just working out at home (which has been a great change), I still go on dating sites sometimes. None of it makes me feel any better. Sure, you could say it's just because I haven't met anyone else I really like yet, so it's easy to keep thinking about her. I guess so. But I also know that it won't be easy to find someone I like as much as I liked her. Not expecting any magical solutions from anyone, just venting. I miss you A.... God damn that s..t to put you in such a state! You are a good man & Come on mate, it is not the end of the world, keep going with the good stuff, gym, go out with friends, spend more time with your relatives and family, read, listen to music, play music (if you do not know how to play and instrument go and take piano or guitar lessons) Music helped me a lot during my getting over with my ex - I simply put on a James Taylor disk, play my piano and do karaoke. It made me realise I can well do without her - but not without my music! I wish I could play the guitar as well! Keep me posted mate - Good luck
adamt Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 (edited) hello exit, i remember reading your stuff about 6-7 months ago. helped me to deal with my break up 9 months ago you will have down days still. I had one last week. I heard a rumour my ex might be seeing someone and then i was thinking how it is a year since my ex started to change. made me feel sad and some of the feelings and memories came flooding back. then i thought would i ever meet anyone else..etc i just cant believe in a few months it will be a year. anyway, i'm still working out and in good shape. been on a few dates and went on one yesterday that went really well and going on a 2nd date. I'm making effort to get more female friends. even turned down a few opportunities. goign to buy a new mountain bike for summer. got a few trips overseas lined up with friends and 3 weeks ago i became an uncle. all you can do is keep focusing on filling your time and enjoying things you do. create new memories. we all just have to accept we will have the odd bad day. we sometimes will stop to take a breather. i still take things day by day. o think it is natural you wil think abotu your ex when certain anniversaries coem along. its my birthday in a few weeks so my birthday last year will be fresh in my mind. funny how some memories are so vivid. hopefully by my birthday this new girl i am dating has progressed Edited March 10, 2010 by adamt
Andrew1984 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I honestly miss that girl and know that I really loved her. I know dude. I hear ya. Just remember, life goes on. This may be the truth but it dosent change what happened. I miss mine too bro. You arent alone.
ATR Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 What you need to realise is that you do not need anyone but yourself. I hate to bring this up but it sure helped me get over people/ deal with problems - Imagine going into a children's cancer ward and telling them your sob story, how do you think they'd react? Stop dwelling on the past and look at your future, you don't know how lucky you are to actually have a future!
Author Exit Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 Thanks for the replies. I know it's not the end of the world, I know there are people with much bigger problems, but can't help that it hurts. Even now, spending a Saturday night at home because I couldn't find anything else to do, I kept coming across TV shows that we used to watch together, or other things that reminded me of her. I'm not purposely trying to torture myself, it just seems like I've reverted back to that stage where things involuntarily remind me of her. I just feel like I'm going to carry this loss with me forever. It's already been a year and I have thought about her every single day. I got to the point where it doesn't cause crippling pain to think about her at least, but it still makes me sad. I've been reading a lot lately. Same thing happens while I'm reading, a certain scene will remind me of somewhere I went with her or something we did together. When I'm at the gym, doing cardio after weight lifting and trying to find something to motivate me for another couple minutes, I think about her. I guess part of me still hopes to be one of those couples who somehow get back together years down the road. I know I just need to be happy on my own. I know I just need to keep going. But I also know I haven't met a girl who even compares to her yet. I know nothing has made me happy enough that I can even go one day without missing her. And the memories seem to be getting stronger instead of more distant. And I kid myself and tell myself maybe I've started thinking about her more recently for a reason, maybe something is going to happen. Hah, I wish.
confused and broken Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I totally understand how you feel That is my life exactly other guys come and go and nothing I am scared sometimes that the rest of my life will be like this you are not alone
adamt Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 (edited) exit, i know how you feel. its just about a year since she started acting differently towards me and it brings back memories. its sad to think that in a couple months it will be 12 months since we broke up. how the time has gone quickly. i am ok during the week as i am busy with work, gym and a few nghts out. its the quiet weekends that are hard,such as a sunday morning or if i am not going out on a saturday night. i've been on a few dates with one or two who a really liked, but it gets tiring to date people and for it not to progress further. i hate it that she has moved on and left my life in a mess. feels like she has chucked a handgrenade,left the room and just locked the door with me in it.I still dread bumping into her at some point or seeing her with someone else. still got lots of unanswered questions. i dont know what more i can do than just stay as busy as possible and keep dating women. I know that as soon as I meet someone new i will move on fully. Sometimes i stop and take a breather then the sadness returns. i also have things reminding me of my ex all the time. its hard putting up a brave face infront of friends and family sometimes. I kknow she isnt coming back, i'm just wanting to meet someone new now so then i can fully move on. Feels like i wasted 3 years of my life on her. my birthday is coming up and its still fresh in my mind when we both celebrated my birthday last year. It feels so easy to just pick up the phone and call her. but i wont ever do it! Edited March 14, 2010 by adamt
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