melindasian Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 [FONT=Arial]Okay, I have known this guy (he owns the café I have been going to for the last two months) and he is also friends of friends. He has been writing messages on my coffee cup since dot. He even gave me his phone number if I needed help to move. It took me about 4 weeks to finally let him know that I would be keen to go out. Have been out on four dates now (first one drinks, then he took me to a wine/tapas bar, dinner/drinks, then we went dancing). Have been intimate on 3rd date. I texted him on the Sunday arvo to say thanks for coming (it was my idea the last time round to go dancing). Funny little anedocte about the night etc. He responded immediately. Then come Wednesday had not heard anything (I usually head into the café and grab a coffee at least once a week and then on a Saturday (always at his suggestion) when I am free (my daughter has dancing classes). So come Wednesday I sent off message with pic of my face (all above board people – we have both sent each other pics in the last week). He replied “what a beautiful face that it is” I queried his week so far and he replied “it had been a long one”. The next morning he sent another message saying “Good morning Sweetness”, sorry I could not reply late last night – have a safe drive to work.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I just replied good morning handsome. I have not been able to head into the café last week and then felt weirded out about going in on the Saturday. Just left it. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]He has told me that he is very shy when it comes to confronting women and that if it were not for his café he probably would never have had the courage to say anything. Obviously he is in “service” mode at work and he said if I had been at a bar, that he would not have come over. He has told me how I tick all the right boxes, he thinks I am great company, gorgeous etc etc. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]So now, I don’t know whether to go into the café one day this week and strike up the usual banter with him, this is how he mostly communicates and talks about catching up again. My male friend thinks that I started the pace (even though he has been flirting via coffee cup for ages) and go in to see him. He thinks I may intimidate him![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]What to do?????[/FONT]
marsle85 Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Nope. You can keep coming in (maybe once a week) but looks like you have to find a new cafe. Sorry girly, but you gotta be a little more mysterious. Let him pursue you. You'll know if he's really in it - make yourself a PRIZE to be WON. He has to chase you a little. Don't make it too easy. I'm just starting to catch on, haha.
TigerCub Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I say just go, if you're used to making a coffee stop once a week, go, its no big deal. If you see him, you see him, if you don't then he'll just have to take a step and actually call you or text u if he wants to see you.
Author melindasian Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 I did not go in last week or on the Saturday, so do you think I should just drop in say this Wednesday? I have already broken regular pattern. Guy friend here thinks now that I have changed my routine, he may think "I" am not keen? PS. I will not be contacting him any other way. I can assume that maybe by this weekend if I have not heard from him - forget it!
boogieboy Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Forget the cafe, just CALL HIM! You already have his number, talk to him on the phone. You cant get to know people by text. You already went out on dates, yo9u dont need to go into the place to talk to him. Just call him.
Author melindasian Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Okay so I have now discussed this with my friends who know him and they recommend just staying with my routine. I have not dropped into his cafe for a week and a half now. They see him every day etc. Sooooo I am goin in. I figure I will know by his initial reaction. And honestly it has never had the "oh no" look ever. If I get another invite and/or coffee cup MSG I will deal with it then. BTW I am 40 and he is 37. I figure find out sooner than later!! Yeah??
harmfulsweetz Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 I think it's one of those situations where you can't win either way, not win, but you know what I mean. If you do pop in, you'll always wonder if you didn't would he even have bothered? If you don't, you'll always wonder what if you did? If you like him, pop in, or as boogieboy says, just call him. There's certainly no harm in showing interest, especially as you have both already been on dates and been intimate.
Author melindasian Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 Mission accomplished and it paid off! He was bowled over, within 5 minutes of me being there he was asking when was I next free. I actually have a lot on this weekend dinner, lunch and another lunch. But I am going to lunch just around the corner from him with my other friends who also know him. So I just mentioned, if he wanted to come by, too which he said definitely! Sat there for about 20 minutes and had a good chat with him and his assistant. Then when I was leaving he gave me a very long kiss on the cheek! When I drove past he blew me a kiss! My guy friend reckons that he might not feel "worthy" and that me coming in to the cafe is his way of gauging whether I am still keen or want to go out again! I'll go with this for the time being and if it continues to last find a time to mention how we interact! Thanks for the advice people!
Author melindasian Posted April 24, 2010 Author Posted April 24, 2010 (edited) Okay I am back in the same boat. We are now two and a half months in and have seen each other probably once a week for a date and I go in once for coffee. Btw I am happy with that and he runs his own business 7 days a week and gets pretty tired. So last w/e had him over for dinner with mutual friends. He was exhausted and got a lift home with my friends. I got a real shock coz he just got up off the couch and said he was going. Of course I was quite disappointed which he sensed. Ie, he got a kiss hug and puppy face! So I txt to ask what's up and he replied he had nithin left in the tank etc. I said I knew he had a hard day and I would not txt anymore all the best. In light of day it sorta looked like I was saying see ya! So txt late arvo thx for coming sorry was disappointed and I knew he gets really tired. He replied loved dinner great nite and he was buggered. Wednesday I sent how has your week been? As if today no reply. Again I have not gone into cafe. Basically we have never had any talk there gas been no confirming in either side what exactly is happening. He is always respectful, kind caring and does take me out and we sort of take turns at paying. He doesn't take compliments well but always let's me know that I look great. We laugh and have lots in common. I am not sure whether to call him or is he now dumping me silently! We hzve mutual friends wjo see him every day, I don't think that would be a cool move on his part. I know his coffee machine blew up which caused him to close this weekend. May not be a good move to contact? What do you guys think? Thx Edited April 24, 2010 by melindasian Typos!
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