keepsmiling Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 So here's the story... I dated a guy for one year and a half and one month ago he rejected me for another girl... so yeah I was heartbroken, begged him to take me back, handwrote letters etc etc. You can guess that it didn't work so I implemented No Contact in order to heal (and to make him start missing me - please don't blame me for this but that keeps me doing NC, which keeps me from hurting if I hear about him). So only after 13 days of "NC" i've got a message from him. The message was friendly and he asked if I was seeing someone else. So my question is, is he simply being nice or is he testing the water to see if he can still take me back whenever he wants?? Do I still have chance with him or should I just simply ignore him and continue NC? Thank you and forgive me for my ignorance and childishness, I just started in the dating world haha.
ADF Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 No man contacts his ex just to "be nice." Maybe his new GF dumped him. Maybe he's seeing if he can lure you into a FWB relationship behind her back. Maybe he's just seeing if he can keep you on hand as a back up. Do any of these reason make you feel he cares about you? They shouldn't.
confused_pjl Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Ignore him and continue NC. He left you for another woman, even if you were seeing someone its none of his business and he has no right to know. Stay NC!
ADF Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Oh, c'mon! No man contacts an ex just to "be nice." Never, never, never. Men just don't do stuff like that. There are several possibilities. Maybe his new GF dumped him. Maybe he thinks he can lure into into having a FWB relationship behind his new GF's back. Maybe he just wants to see if he can keep you on hand as a back up, in case his new GF dumps him, or until he finds a new woman he can dump you for. Again. ARE YOU CRAZY???? This guy dumped you for someone else, and you are seriously thinking about letting this scum back in your life? Man, when he picked you, he picked a winner, didn't he? Jesus, kick this creep to the curb already!
USMCHokie Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 So only after 13 days of "NC" i've got a message from him. The message was friendly and he asked if I was seeing someone else. So my question is, is he simply being nice or is he testing the water to see if he can still take me back whenever he wants?? Do I still have chance with him or should I just simply ignore him and continue NC? Hahahahah...wow...the audacity of that guy...you shouldn't respond with anything...not even a proper f*ck off... He is not being nice...he is not testing the waters...this is not a chance at reconciliation...this is just him being a lame-ass guy...he won't have you, and he doesn't want ANYONE ELSE to have you either...so he's just checking up on you to make sure no one else has his girl... Ignore him and continue NC.
Author keepsmiling Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 ok right... maybe he left me for another woman... but what if we are talking about a second chance? =/ I mean, a second chance for me. I have made mistakes and chances are, he ran into the other girl because she doesn't make this kind of mistake
monkeymaid Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 go read the last 3 pages in the breaking up/reconciliation/coping sections of this forum, then come back and see if you think you should contact him and if you can discern if he wants to lick his wounds by you giving him control. ...again... or if he has a genuine interest in your wellbeing.
jthorne Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I have to agree that his intentions are probably what's in his best interest, not yours. I'd think that if he wanted to get back together, he could have asked if you could get together and talk, etc. Not something so casual as "you seeing someone yet".
ADF Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 ok right... maybe he left me for another woman... but what if we are talking about a second chance? =/ I mean, a second chance for me. I have made mistakes and chances are, he ran into the other girl because she doesn't make this kind of mistake Well, I don't what "mistakes" you may have made, but in my experience, men who dump women one woman to be with another aren't driven to it. They do it because they want to do it. Sorry, I think you mean well, you want to do the right thing, but you're making this more complicated than it probably is. You got dumped for another woman; you're now being played by the man who dumped you. Whatever the specifics, you are sending him a clear message: "I have no self-esteem. I have no pride. I'll put up with anything. Treat me as bad as you want." And he will.
Author keepsmiling Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Ok well, I chose to ignore him. but it only made things worse - now he's very angry because I am sending the "I don't care" message...
monkeymaid Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 it will change to a sad "baby come back" message in a week or 2. ...he just wants to know he has control over you still. he is panicking because you are not behaving the way he is used to ...its post breakup psychology at work. dont give in. in fact dont even read the messages. ...just delete. its in your best interests
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