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Posted (edited)

My 22-year-old boyfriend mentioned to me today that he had just done his parents' taxes because they don't like doing them themselves.

 

This is the THIRD guy I've dated now who does his parent's taxes, and none of them have parents who are at all elderly or disabled.

 

Is this a common thing?

 

Personally, I think it's ridiculous. I would be pissed off if my parents expected me to do their taxes simply because they were too lazy or inept to do them themselves. Maybe I could see if they offered to help me with something in return, but in all cases I've observed the parents don't.

 

I really hope this doesn't mean he's in a submissive, caregiver position with his parents, because my ex was and it had an awful effect on him and our relationship. I'm probably just overreacting, but I stlll think it's weird.

 

EDIT: I even dated a guy whose dad made him make basic appointments for him and do google search simply because he was too lazy to. I can't believe some people put up with this. It makes me wonder if some people have kids just as free slave labor. :p

Edited by shadowplay
Posted

shadowplay, does your b/fs parents do other things for him? If so, I wouldn't focus on this one little negative, as being meaningful on the scale of their entire relationship.

 

My parents would never ask me to do their taxes for them but that's because their annual finances are their own private business. But if they asked me, I would do if for them...well, tbh, I would send it out and have it done for them, since I hate doing taxes.

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Posted
shadowplay, does your b/fs parents do other things for him? If so, I wouldn't focus on this one little negative, as being meaningful on the scale of their entire relationship.

 

My parents would never ask me to do their taxes for them but that's because their annual finances are their own private business. But if they asked me, I would do if for them...well, tbh, I would send it out and have it done for them, since I hate doing taxes.

 

I don't know, but I'll probably find out as I get to know his parents. I think this just tweaked me because it reminded me of my ex's nightmarish parents.

 

That said, I think it's ridiculous for anybody to be in the position of doing something like taxes for their parents if the only reason is laziness or ineptitude. If there's some good reason or a fair exchange where the parents help their children with similar things, then it's a different story.

Posted

I've never heard of this. I don't consider it normal.

 

My parents wouldn't want me in their business that much. And I wouldn't want to be either.

Posted

I've been doing my mom's taxes for about ten years, earlier on 'helping' because she still wanted to do them herself. Obviously, now, being demented, she can't do them anymore so I do both her's and the trust's taxes. I do my business taxes anyway and have the software, so why not? Normal? IDK. My dad was a CPA so doing taxes was 'normal' in our household. I'm the trustee of their trust. I've known all their 'business' for decades. I guess every family is different.

Posted

Is your b/f being forced to do their taxes or is it because he doesn't mind doing taxes? I do things for my parents they don't like doing and they do things for me, that I don't like doing.

 

I have friends who I trade food with. If I know they love something I make, I make more of it and give it to them. They also do the same for me.

 

IMO, relationships of any kind, should be symbiotic.

Posted

Fiance does my taxes!!! He helps out with his parent's taxes as well. He's an accountant though.

 

As for your boyfriend: I don't see anything wrong with him helping his parent's out with their taxes. I would like to know also if he has a problem doing his parents' taxes. If they force him too, well that's a different story. But if he does it just to help out then I think that is a nice thing to do! I'm sure his parents did lots of nice things for him, maybe he just wants to help them out also.

Posted

My brother does my parents' taxes (and mine!), however that's because he's an accountant.

 

I'm a lawyer and my sister is a doctor and we also give our professional services to our parents and other family members for free.

 

My parents don't "expect" anything from us kids, but we're happy to do these things for them because they've pretty much given us the world.

 

So I agree with the others - I don't have a problem with it as long as it's not done under duress. I'm sure if your parents wanted a short family video made or something you would do it without charging!

Posted

Personally, I don't see any issue with this. My husband does taxes for his parents and my mother and it seems reasonable to do so.

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