sweet_peach115 Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I posted earlier about a guy I had been dating: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222671/ Friday night I was at my favorite bar. I was pretty drunk and was really missing the guy I had been dating. Its important that you read the previous post for background info. Anyways, I texted him and asked him if he was going out. He said maybe and asked where I was. I told him and he ended leaving his friends and girlfriend to come see me. He didn't even tell his girlfriend he was leaving, he just took off when she wasn't looking. We ended up dancing for a while and making out and then he asked to come back to my place. He stayed until about 7am and his girlfriend had texted him like 20 times. I am so mad at myself for letting this happen! I was doing so good. I hadn't spoken to him for a month. He is such a douche and I don't know why I let this a**hole have such a hold over me. His poor girlfriend. He said I am the first person he has ever cheated with. I feel horrible. I guess I am just venting. I don't know what anyone could possible say to me but comments are most welcome!!!!
Fouts Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Agreed, he's a douche, but what does that make you? Not good huh
DeepThinker01 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Hey, I am sure you are feeling crappy right now. If it helps, I could share something similar that happened to me. I went through some crap with my boyfriend and ended up cheating on him with two guys who had girlfriends. However, what made me never talk to them again after that was the fact they had girlfriends when they saw me. The guys acted like angels. Like they were starting to really like me.. but in the end I kept telling myself, "This douchebag is trying to be such a nice guy, yet he had a girlfriend when he was with me". Can't be a nice guy if you're off cheating on your girl or turning your back on her to be with someone else. I am just trying to say not to ever take things seriously with a guy who you know has a girlfriend already. I recommend keeping your distance. It seems you are really getting attached, and it does sound like you feel bad for the girlfriend. Guys are dogs. I overheard some of my guy friends talk about something like this and one of them made that infamous quote, "Why buy the cow when the milk is free". In other words, why would he leave his girlfriend when he has you on the side already?
Author sweet_peach115 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 Yes I do feel bad for her. She is so young (19!!) and he is 26. I wish she knew what he was doing but I would never tell her. Its not my place and I've never met her. Hes going to break her heart.
aerogurl87 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Tell her the truth OP, better for her to find out how much of an a**hole he is now before she invests too much into their relationship. I told my ex I cheated on him while away on vacation and had it not been for me telling him he would've never known. But I wanted him to know the truth and have the chance to make a decision on whether he wanted to stay or leave, I did owe him that much. Now this girl deserves to know the truth as well. If she stays or leaves will be her decision, but at least you'll be more at peace with yourself.
Dexter Morgan Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 He is such a douche ya, he is for sure.....but you screwed around with him....and when you knew he had a girlfriend. what does that make you? and I don't know why I let this a**hole have such a hold over me. His poor girlfriend. yup, a victim of him AND you You want to make it right? Rat him out to his girlfriend. She deserves to know what an azzhole she is dating. If you can't give her the information she needs to have to make an informed decision about what type of guy she commits herself to, then spare us the "his poor girlfriend" stuff.
sid3 Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Yes I do feel bad for her. She is so young (19!!) and he is 26. I wish she knew what he was doing but I would never tell her. Its not my place and I've never met her. Hes going to break her heart. shows just how bad you feel, way to go. Maybe you have a drinking problem, or a lack of good morals.
Author sweet_peach115 Posted March 11, 2010 Author Posted March 11, 2010 It has nothing to do with morals. I just feel it is something he should tell her. Also, I don't think she would believe me if I did tell her. They were friends while me and him were dating. I have never met her but she hates me. When me and him would be out together, she would be sending him texts that said "I hope the stupid bitch is worth it". She made up stupid nick names for me which one of his guy friends told me about.
squirtle Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 that sucks dude... but seriously.. he seems like the kind of guy that if u tell her he will just weasel his way out of it and make you look like the bad guy/jealous ex. people like him have their way of manipulating. of course shes gonna go straight to denial and blame the "crazy ex girlfriend" thats how men work... and thats how a lot of us women think when we like them enough to believe them. im sorry this happened to you. i dont feel you did anything too wrong. its HIM! you are not the one going home to your partner and lying to them.
Spectre Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 It has nothing to do with morals. I just feel it is something he should tell her. Also, I don't think she would believe me if I did tell her. Oh please, if you were so concerned about her you shouldn't of been banging her bf in the first place. This is why I love when people get so concerned about cheating *after* the fact.
Space Ritual Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 It has nothing to do with morals. I just feel it is something he should tell her. Also, I don't think she would believe me if I did tell her. They were friends while me and him were dating. I have never met her but she hates me. When me and him would be out together, she would be sending him texts that said "I hope the stupid bitch is worth it". She made up stupid nick names for me which one of his guy friends told me about. I think she obviously has good reason to dislike you at this point. Your actions do not show a lot of selflessness, but rather extreme selfishness Of course you feel that way. Look at your post. I am afraid you are justifying this like most cheaters do. You knew exactly what you were doing. You tried to use the drunk excuse and blame iot all on him and now you are amazed and shocked that he stayed with you til 7 in the morning and its just not your place to get involved, nor your fault I have been around for awhile on this rock called Earth and Ive been to a few rodeos and a circus or two and your excuse is about the lamest Ive ever heard. Please please please understand that your actions along with studboy have landed you smack dab in the middle of it. Justify all you want but this is exactly what you wanted to happen. You love drama and its all about you. So you know what, I m sure that she already knows it was you because if he was so stupid as to bail on his GF in a bar and knowing your past with her and him it is a forgone conclusion that she connected the dots. The crop you are about to reap from what you and loverboy have sown is going to be as bitters as bongwater. Just think of it, now you two can be together and just wait until some chick comes along with a better body, bigger boobs and hotter than you (and yes there will be one) and he will bolt on you and do it all over again!!! Then it will be you blowing up his phone and crying like a bus full of Lucy's WAAAAAAAA!! I suggest that you actually take this time to stay away from drinking,(obviously you cant handle your booze) maybe take some clues in how to actually treat people and not aid and abet a cheater. See these type of things come back to bite you. But you just need to grow up a little to find out how much they do. Best of luck...LMAO!!!
freestyle Posted March 16, 2010 Posted March 16, 2010 I noticed something that none of the other posters so far have mentioned, regarding the timeline. You were dating your exbf. She was just a friend of his (who hated you, having never met you) If they were "just friends"......... Why on earth was she sending him texts saying, "I hope that stupid b*tch is worth it..........." while you and he were dating?Those are hardly the words of a supportive 'friend'. BTW, how did you know about the text, did you snoop, or did he show it to you? If he showed it to you, then he was playing head games. This makes me suspect that he was dating both of you at the same time OR She was a mate poacher sabotaging your R with him, because she wanted him. Maybe she started playing hardball with him as soon as he got involved with you.(I've seen women do this before) So you and him broke up. He starts dating Ms. "Oh, She's Just A Friend". He starts texting you , and you ignore him You get drunk, and text him ,leading to the hook-up. Do you think your actions were partly revenge on the woman who dissed you, and stole your guy? (not judging you, by the way, I'm trying to get you to examine your own motivations, for the sake of your own self-awareness) I will judge you exbf, however........I strongly suspect that he was double-dipping while you were dating (based on her extreme negative reaction to him spending time with you) And now he's playing her the same way. And getting quite the ego boost at the same time. "Oh, watch my puppets dance, what fun........" I'm glad you're furious with yourself, it shows that you do have a conscience, and a sense of right from wrong. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.Something you know you never want to do again.
Author sweet_peach115 Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 Apparently they had some kind of relationship last summer that didn't work out but they stayed friends. He ended their relationshp so I think she never gave up (and it worked for her!!) I didn't snoop through his phone, nor did he tell me about it. His friend told me actually as he had been with her when she sent the text. I don't really think I was trying to get revenge on her. I just have feelings for him. I never stopped caring for him and one of my friends believes I am in love with him. Maybe I am and am in denial. I just have never been able to get him out of my system. I don't have any illusion that me and him will ever be together as a couple again and I wouldn't want us to be.
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