spiderowl Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Well, it seems to be going very well. He's kind, considerate, thoughtful and romantic. We've communicated by email and phone regularly. The only downside so far is that he's 3-4 hours away by car and 1.5 by train. I've been really hurt in the past by various men, I seem to have been unlucky - one was an out-and-out liar who played me. Since him, I haven't dated anyone. I've had quite a few offers though and been hit on by men much younger than me too, so I don't think I'm unattractive. This guy seems to be interested in more than looks anyway (and he has seen my picture and vice versa). So now he's suggested meeting and is willing to travel. We need to meet or we'll be stuck in this limbo of writing and phoning. Instead of feeling happy, I've been thrown into panic. I like him and it really matters to me that it goes well. He's reassured me we'll still be friends even if it's not romantic, but he's sending me sweet romantic messages and I can't help but think that neither of us want to be just friends so the stakes are higher. On the one hand, I'm thinking this is wonderful, he's lovely and willing to go to this trouble to meet me so he must be serious about it. On the other, I'm thinking he's not that serious and just likes meeting women anyway (he seems to have a lot of female friends). I'm also petrified he's going to be disappointed in me or that he's going to be romantic and interested for a while then suddenly drop me like has happened before. How can I feel better about this meeting? I don't want to spend the next week in a state of fear. I'm really so afraid of being hurt again I cannot trust that this man really means everything he's conveying at the moment. He has done absolutely nothing wrong either.
Twenty-ten Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Simple, you need to accept that there is a possibility that it might not work out. If you can't handle rejection then you probably should not be doing online dating. Of course you can get hurt, there are no guarantees. You might meet him and not find as much chemistry as you had anticipated, or it might happen to him. That's just the way it is. If you can accept that, then there is nothing to fear. If it doesn't work out you will pick yourself back up again and you will start all over again with the next person that comes into your life. you've done it before you can do it again and you are still here to tell the tale. Just think rationally and put your emotions at bay.
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