sigurpol Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 So posting on her a few weeks, my situation had improved big time. Basically, things were going slow, I was having doubts because I thought SHE was having doubts, or whatever. But after some talks, and nights out, things finally picked up and were great. She wanted me to meet her parents, so a night out was planned for dinner. Everything went perfectly fine, I liked them, they liked me, everyone got along etc. Even she was particularly in a good mood (duh) and it was nice. On the way home, things seemed a little off.. she wasn't talking or responding too much, and while we were in the car she mentioned she shouldn't have had that glass of wine. I asked how come, and joked about her having too much and shouldn't be driving. She said it made/makes her "tried and cranky". I guess it was showing through, because the car ride was dead silent, and I didn't know what to say or act. I tried lightening up the mood, but no luck. Earlier in the week, we mentioned about me staying over this night, because I had work in the AM, so I brought my work clothes and hung them in my car. As we go to her place, she just says, "okay, well let me know when you get home". I mentioned me bringing my work clothes for tomorrow she said she was tired and was going to bed soon. As I was leaving, my car was pinned in by two other cars, and I had no way of getting out. So I called and told her that, and she said, "well if you need anything, or me to move my car, lemme know.. or just lemme know when you make it out". I couldn't get out. That was the issue, so I knocked on her door and asked just to kill some time in here so these people could move their cars. As I waited, and the tone was really awkward, I plainly asked, "are you upset?". Without skipping a beat-- No! I'm tired. Well I obviously overstayed my welcome and pushed her buttons, so I just walked out of the room, did a 75 point turn in the road and barely squeezed my way out. I texted her when I got home saying I made it. No response. I'm not even looking for an answer.. it just upsets me that something (probably me) triggered a bad mood and ruined the night. Ugh.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 That would piss me off. Why didn't she let you crash at her place? What kind of friend is this?
Author sigurpol Posted March 7, 2010 Author Posted March 7, 2010 That would piss me off. Why didn't she let you crash at her place? What kind of friend is this? Thank you. I was afraid people would be saying something that I was doing wrong. No idea why she wouldn't let me.. we talked about it a few times days before. Ridiculous.
spiderowl Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Well, sounds like you were really decent and she was moody and unpleasant. She could have helped you more with the car situation and can't have forgotten that you were supposed to be staying over. What a miserable woman. Unless there's really something special about her that you haven't conveyed here, I wonder why you're bothering. Is she like this often? Even if you said something out of turn, she should still have cared that you were somewhere safe and comfortable for the night.
Author sigurpol Posted March 7, 2010 Author Posted March 7, 2010 Well, sounds like you were really decent and she was moody and unpleasant. She could have helped you more with the car situation and can't have forgotten that you were supposed to be staying over. What a miserable woman. Unless there's really something special about her that you haven't conveyed here, I wonder why you're bothering. Is she like this often? Even if you said something out of turn, she should still have cared that you were somewhere safe and comfortable for the night. Well, in the beginning when things got complicated, there was a time she would get moody and sort of act this way. But it would be over the phone or something of the sort. I honestly do like her a lot, for a lot of reasons. I don't want to write it all out now, cause it would be kinda long and drawn out. But I do like her for genuine reasons. But I do agree with you, I was asking for some help in the sense that, I would have options (help get my car out, let me stay over, etc). But I feel like her intuition of helping me was to make sure I was going home. I don't know what the hell happened. I hope she sleeps it off. Do I say anything tomorrow?
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Ouch, if someone did this to me I'd never speak to them again. I wouldn't say anything today, tomorrow or any other day. I'm not sure why you aren't seeing it, but that behavior is the behavior of someone who is literally brushing you off. You can say something if you like, but I predict that it is all downhill from here and your next few conversations will be along the lines of tepid apologies on her part followed by increasingly longer and more brutal periods of iciness.
Author sigurpol Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 I feel like the longer this goes on, I'm chalking up more reasons why I shouldn't be here. Anyway, I texted her this morning before work, saying I was sorry things got so ****ty after such a good night, sorry if I was pushing her, but that I still had a nice time meeting her folks. She responds with, "You were pushing it and that whats upsets me. It wasn't that I didn't want to see you, but you knew I was tired and kept it up. You really pushed me away from you in general" I responded with that I didn't mean for that, and that I hope things aren't ruined between us. No response. Obviously I have a hard time manning up and telling it like it is.
troggleputty Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I feel like the longer this goes on, I'm chalking up more reasons why I shouldn't be here. Anyway, I texted her this morning before work, saying I was sorry things got so ****ty after such a good night, sorry if I was pushing her, but that I still had a nice time meeting her folks. She responds with, "You were pushing it and that whats upsets me. It wasn't that I didn't want to see you, but you knew I was tired and kept it up. You really pushed me away from you in general" I responded with that I didn't mean for that, and that I hope things aren't ruined between us. No response. Obviously I have a hard time manning up and telling it like it is. Oh Pshaw, you didn't "push her away." If this is a relatively new relationship, I'm guessing she met someone else in the past couple of weeks and wants to pursue that other relationship, and of course doesn't want to tell you about that for obvious reasons. I mean what else could it be? Nothing you described as doing seems out of line.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 "You were pushing it and that whats upsets me. It wasn't that I didn't want to see you, but you knew I was tired and kept it up. You really pushed me away from you in general" I'm not seeing it. The only pushing away I saw was coming from her end. What she did to you at the end of the night: icing you out on the way home, and ditching you when you got there when she knew you had made arrangements prior to stay over is inexcusable behavior. "I was tired and cranky after one glass of wine" is not an adequate excuse for being such a bitch. If it is, then I am sorry you are involved with someone who is just *like* this. Sometimes people are just tired, but when they genuinely care about someone and love them they accommodate in some way, they don't ice them out and invite them pointedly to leave. Unless of course she is just *like* that.
Author sigurpol Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Mm, I don't think it's someone else. Her and I have been over that a few times, it just doesn't really add up. I don't know why she would make plans for me to meet her parents (and future plans as well), if she was interested in someone like that. Lucrez, I totally agree with you. She texted me this morning saying hi, ans we BS'ed for a bit.. and that was it. Her birthday is this week...we made plans, and I'm supposed to get lunch with her and her mother the day after. Now I have no idea how to act with that going on.
Author sigurpol Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 So, I've cut my losses. I received a text this morning, telling me she is "bothered" by the way I acted on Saturday. And this isn't the first time this has happened (I wasn't aware there were other times that we had this problem?). And she's afraid that this is how I act when I don't get my way. I do not know what I did to get such a rise out of her. And honestly, I don't care anymore. She's been hot and cold for 3 months now, holding me hostage, and the same record has been playing all this time. I shoulda' called it quits when she sent me a break up text message in January. But, I didn't. I called her back, no answer. So I just left a voicemail saying I'm done doing this.
boogieboy Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 So, I've cut my losses. I received a text this morning, telling me she is "bothered" by the way I acted on Saturday. And this isn't the first time this has happened (I wasn't aware there were other times that we had this problem?). And she's afraid that this is how I act when I don't get my way. I do not know what I did to get such a rise out of her. And honestly, I don't care anymore. She's been hot and cold for 3 months now, holding me hostage, and the same record has been playing all this time. I shoulda' called it quits when she sent me a break up text message in January. But, I didn't. I called her back, no answer. So I just left a voicemail saying I'm done doing this. She is either psychotic or she is trying to make up a reason to stop seeing you. Either way, she lost her attraction to you. I dont know why, but as long as you dont talk to her again.
Rylle Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 She sounds like someone who likes drama and is conflict-seeking. So she's trying to create some.
Recommended Posts