always_searching Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 UGHHH! 25 years is a long time to go without sex, people! I am about to die--I think about it several times throughout the day. It's so bad. I try to pray; I try to focus on my work; I just want sex. LOL, I suppose this belongs in the rant section, but it's a general relationship issue as well. I just figured I would share this with you all, since nearly all of my friends are devout Catholics who would look at me as though I were a possessed, heretical whore if I expressed this to any of them. I just needed to express my frustrations to someone! :mad: Anyway, before I hear, "Well, just go out and get laid." I need to clarify that I want sex with someone I care about and the only people I care about are unavailable, and if I expressed my desire to sleep with any of these people, I would get kicked out of school in my last semester. Plus, I need recommendations from these people at a future date! What's a girl have to do to get some?! In my circle: get married, I suppose... Thanks for listening!
CarrieT Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Anyway, before I hear, "Well, just go out and get laid." I need to clarify that I want sex with someone I care about and the only people I care about are unavailable, and if I expressed my desire to sleep with any of these people, I would get kicked out of school in my last semester. Well, I want dinner at The French Laundry but being starving, I'll settle for dinner at Dennys. My philosophy is "If you can't get what you want, at least get what will satisfy the immediate hunger." So you only WANT sex with someone you care about (as do I), but until I find someone I care about, I suffice with occasionally having sex with people just to get over the urge. It works for about six months to a year, until I get "hungry" again...
Author always_searching Posted March 7, 2010 Author Posted March 7, 2010 Well, I want dinner at The French Laundry but being starving, I'll settle for dinner at Dennys. My philosophy is "If you can't get what you want, at least get what will satisfy the immediate hunger." So you only WANT sex with someone you care about (as do I), but until I find someone I care about, I suffice with occasionally having sex with people just to get over the urge. It works for about six months to a year, until I get "hungry" again... Touche. LOL, but I don't want my first meal ever to be at Denny's! Is it too much to ask for a really hot night of sex with someone I have a vague interest in? I mean, I don't want a relationship, but a FWB would be nice. I would rather have one really great meal at The French Laundry then 20 meals at Denny's. Haha, actually, that's a lie, but it's true regarding the analogy. Yeah. I'm going to hell. My will is so weak. One way ticket...
CarrieT Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Okay - I didn't realize you were a virgin. Totally different scenario then. I'm a well-seasoned diner, having eaten at restaurants all over the world, and know what different cuisines taste like. But I wouldn't want a first time at Dennys either. And perpetuating this "going to hell" thing is really counter-productive, don't you think? So what -- you are horny. Big deal. It has nothing to do with your relationship to your church or to god. Just keep masturbating until the right one comes along and lighten up. ETA - you haven't gone 25 years without sex. You only became a sexual being as an adult. Get some perspective here... You are sounding like a Drama Queen.
Author always_searching Posted March 7, 2010 Author Posted March 7, 2010 (edited) Okay - I didn't realize you were a virgin. Totally different scenario then. I'm a well-seasoned diner, having eaten at restaurants all over the world, and know what different cuisines taste like. But I wouldn't want a first time at Dennys either. And perpetuating this "going to hell" thing is really counter-productive, don't you think? So what -- you are horny. Big deal. It has nothing to do with your relationship to your church or to god. Just keep masturbating until the right one comes along and lighten up. ETA - you haven't gone 25 years without sex. You only became a sexual being as an adult. Get some perspective here... You are sounding like a Drama Queen. Haha, I'm sorry--I probably am being overly dramatic, but I want sex pretty badly, and "being horny" is a problem for devout Catholics. Sex is a dramatic issue for us. It is supposed to be saved for marriage. I don't want to get married. I just want sex. So, here, let me put it in a (very poorly constructed) poly-syllogism--logic sounds must less overly dramatic: Catholics believe that sex should be saved for marriage. Any sexual acts before marriage are considered mortal sins. A mortal sin sends you to hell. I am a Catholic. I don't want to get married, but I want to have sex. If I have sex, I will be committing a moral sin. I think you can see where I am going with this. So, yes, it will have an effect on my relationship with the church and God, unless I alter my beliefs. Thus, why I'm being dramatic. Technically, we are sexual beings from the time we are born--many psychologists have done studies on infant and childhood masturbation, which is a very real phenomenon. Speaking of which, masturbation is just as bad (if not worse, for some thinkers a la Aquinas) from the Catholic perspective. Edited March 7, 2010 by always_searching
CarrieT Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Catholics believe that sex should be saved for marriage. Any sexual acts before marriage are considered mortal sins. A mortal sin sends you to hell. I am a Catholic. I don't want to get married, but I want to have sex. If I have sex, I will be committing a moral sin. I think your drama is going to be less the fact that you want sex than you have to deal with your religious upbringing. There is no way to get into that sort of discussion as I have quite an extensive education in religious studies and can't buy into the concept of sin, so I feel for you that you have this doctrine built into our psyche. Technically, we are sexual beings from the time we are born--many psychologists have done studies on infant and childhood masturbation, which is a very real phenomenon. Speaking of which, masturbation is just as bad (if not worse, for some thinkers a la Aquinas) from the Catholic perspective. I know this well and had two house guests who just left this afternoon who have have their PhDs in sexuality. We spoke at length about infant masturbation and I can recall starting when I was around two! Speaking of which, masturbation is just as bad (if not worse, for some thinkers a la Aquinas) from the Catholic perspective. You have my sincere condolences. It sounds like you might need to counseling to get through this if you don't want to wait for marriage.
Author always_searching Posted March 7, 2010 Author Posted March 7, 2010 I can't tell if you are in earnest or being sarcastic, but either way: thanks. LOL, at least you didn't tell me to see an exorcist.
melodymatters Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Well,if it helps, I can relate ! I was widowed a little over 9 moths ago. I am not one for casual sex, it just doesn't feel comfortable, or natural or even satisfying, but I'm not ready to date, let alone have a relationship ! I have been having sex dreams almost every night lately which I guess is cool : at least I'm getting some in an alternate universe ! If you are truley devoted to your religion, and I have some strict catholics as family members, then you better start looking for a husband !
Author always_searching Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Well,if it helps, I can relate ! I was widowed a little over 9 moths ago. I am not one for casual sex, it just doesn't feel comfortable, or natural or even satisfying, but I'm not ready to date, let alone have a relationship ! I have been having sex dreams almost every night lately which I guess is cool : at least I'm getting some in an alternate universe ! If you are truley devoted to your religion, and I have some strict catholics as family members, then you better start looking for a husband ! I'm so sorry, melodymatters. How are you doing? If only I could control my dreams! :bunny:
Green Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 You know you could go out and let some man do some dirty dancing with you. If you get a good grind going it might release your frustrations and then when your tired of dancing you just go home.
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